Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: nayboor ( )
Date: August 06, 2018 01:45AM

Is it necessary to hate an organization that has hurt us and/or our families and friends? Obviously, we must protect and heal ourselves, warn others, and help those about whose pain we have an especial understanding. And this is nothing like being ripped off by Amway or the government. This is an organization that took control of our lives when we were children and perverted or destroyed all the things that are special about us. This is a mind-controlling cult that has robbed our families for generations... Is all we have to show for their abuse and betrayal an unquenchable hatred? Is it just our hatred or is it also a hatred that they've set as a trap for us? A mountain of hatred that blocks our way out of the pain?... Many people here sound like they're now atheists. I don't blame them, and there isn't any argument that can prove them to be in error. But I have not lost my faith in Christ. I've been a bit annoyed that He hasn't leveled the Church Office Building while they're all their getting their pictures made, but He hasn't done anything about North Korea either, so I just have to "go figure." The English poet Milton said that bad things are the substrate of good. I'm going to grow my faith by being free and happy...and cautious.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/06/2018 01:49AM by nayboor.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: chipace ( )
Date: August 06, 2018 02:12AM

I would think that a true follower of Christ would be forgiving... even of an organization that steals his name and claims additional scripture which is a complete and pure lie.
I am not a believer that Christ was the son of God (more than any other one of us), but I do believe in his teachings of love and forgiveness.
I believe he would want us to turn the other cheek, but also over-turn their money grabbing tables.
We should be good examples to the people still enslaved to the TSCC. I believe he would want it that way.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: August 06, 2018 02:34AM

I have been on this board for more than fifteen years, and I have seen only a relatively small amount of hatred here--often when someone here who was well known to all of us died (particularly when these deaths were suicides related to that person's sexual orientation).

After fifteen years here, I know there is an overall ebb and flow to the subjects being discussed, as well as the emotional tenor of the posts, from one period of time to another--often as a result of something going on in the larger culture, or some important action, or non-action, of the LDS Church which has a relatively dramatic impact on Mormons, exmormons, or nevermos. (Think of Prop 8, or the announced TSCC prohibitions re: the children of gay parents, or the "something newsworthy" [to the general American public] which occurs, usually, about once a year.)

Compared to the damage done by the Mormon church to the real people here, and to their families, and to their associated relationships, there is almost no hatred expressed except, once in a while, when prompted--usually by something dramatically game-changing.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/06/2018 02:37AM by Tevai.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: August 10, 2018 05:15AM

I don't see the level of hatred that is often accused. Saying something uncomplimentary about the mormon church is not the same as expressing hatred toward it. It's more a matter of sorting through causes and working toward recovery.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: exminion ( )
Date: August 06, 2018 04:18AM

I agree that there seems to be a lot of forgiveness, and a lack of inveterate, grudge-and-revenge hatred on RFM.

There is some temporary anger, in individuals, that is relatively short-lived, and is part of the normal process of grieving. I've read a lot of posts describing the outrage and sense of betrayal, just like I felt, when Mormon first discover that they have been duped, and conned out of their money and time. There's the righteous indignation, that I felt also, when children are being abused.

A certain amount of anger is necessary, in order for us to protect ourselves and our children. We need to open our eyes and see crimes and criminals for what they are. This makes us angry, especially at first.

We who have loved ones still trapped in the Mormon cult can not, in good conscience, just waltz merrily off into our happy new life and leave these victims under the bus. This is why RFM is so important to some of us.

Nayboor's operant word is "CAUTIOUS."

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: August 06, 2018 09:49AM

exminion Wrote:
> We who have loved ones still trapped in the Mormon
> cult can not, in good conscience, just waltz
> merrily off into our happy new life and leave
> these victims under the bus. This is why RFM is
> so important to some of us.
> Nayboor's operant word is "CAUTIOUS."

Amen to that. My feelings exactly. It's not so much hatred as it is practical reality: this organization has indoctrinated and is harming people I care about. I won't shut up until they're no longer harming anyone (whether I care about them or not).

As to the OP, if you want to not lose your "faith in Christ," fine. Even though, as you yourself point out, "Christ" doesn't do what you want him to do (always a problem with magical imaginary friends)...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: nayboor ( )
Date: August 10, 2018 02:10AM

I would rather have Christ as my "imaginary friend" than whomever it is that listens to my inner dialogue. Anyway, I don't believe Christ's love doesn't extend to those who don't believe in Him. In fact, I imagine He's happier with atheists who bring love and hope into the world than He is with Christians who do the same but expect to be rewarded for their good deeds... I know that, like most Mormons, I had good intentions when I was a Mormon. The saddest thing for me is to recall what a failure I felt like because I never could get on board with the grind of it all. I'm 65 and not a high priest. But I would be much angrier if I had spent thousands of hours on make-work callings. I refused to go to the high preist's meetings as a protest, but that turned out to be a good decision because the concerns of the younger men underscore the malevolence of the church's leadership. They and young women are suffering the brunt of the attack on their self-esteem.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: nayboor ( )
Date: August 10, 2018 04:09PM

What specifically caused me to finally vomit up the church is the increasing narcissistic jealousy of the leadership of their imagined monopoly over authority. They are such extraordinarily below-average men! They will never share power with the best and brightest Mormons, with men and women who would welcome gay marriages, with men and women who would encourage open discussion of church history, with men and women who would say, "Enough!" to cash tithes to a multi-billion-dollar corporation that lavishes "investments" on a favored elite, with men and women. They have built an idol of wood and stone (paper and ink) and caused subject men and women and children to bow down to it. Shame on them! It is my belief that they will wander about a singular afterlife ashamed to meet the gazes of all good people who strived to not seek their own, who strived to not seek the honors of men above the love of God.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: August 10, 2018 10:12AM

There are some real doozies I've met who are Mormon.

Likewise, there are some really decent & good people.

Some of the most evil, conspiring and outright malicious people I've had the misfortune of knowing have been LDS.

Until you've seen the dark side of its underbelly, it was easier to deceive "the very elect" spoken of scripturally.

Sometimes I hate on the church in general because of the harm it caused to me and my family. Singularly there are several people who deserve to be maligned, but not all or most of them either.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: anono this week ( )
Date: August 10, 2018 04:32PM

I agree, the tone of people here can be a little agitating. And yes there is some general hate that gets expressed against the religion. Mormonism and life in general is like the English fox hunt, the governor and his friends of nobility comes to the stables where the hounds have been waiting and he selects the youngest most handsome hounds to go on the chase. They get to go out and strut their stuff and glory in their good fortune. The others who are not so fit or smart get left behind to sulk and cry. There isn't room for everyone to be special obviously.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: anono this week ( )
Date: August 10, 2018 04:33PM

Is it a wonderful life for the hounds left behind?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: summer ( )
Date: August 10, 2018 06:52PM

IMO the hatred, when it happens, tends to be temporary. It can happen when exmos first discover that they've been systematically lied to, and compelled to give excessive amounts of time and money to a largely ungrateful church.

If you take a walk through the archives, you will see lots and lots of board members who don't post here anymore, or who just swing by on occasion to say hello. Those board members have recovered and moved on. They are living their lives. (Some board members stay here for the companionship and understanding, and to give support to others.)

I believe that churches should help and support their members, and not treat them like errant children or slaves. Churches should be for the members, not the other way around. Where religious leaders work in support of positive virtues (love, kindness, tolerance, humility, real charity, etc.) I will be generally supportive of those faiths. Where church leaders are controlling, demanding, demeaning, overly authoritarian, close minded, intolerant, and full of hubris, I will call them out. People deserve better than that. People deserve to be supported. They deserve to be treated in a loving manner by those who are supposedly more spiritual and enlightened than themselves.

If my friends who are Mormon feel that their faith supports them and gives them peace, then so be it. But if they are merely in church only because of obligation, then I will encourage them to question that. There are too many Mormons who are in church each Sunday only because they feel it is expected of them. Their frequent perusal of their electronic devices while in church tells the tale. How many people pull out a cell phone while at a concert, or at a fine restaurant, or out on a beautiful hike, or at the beach, except to take a joyful photo to say, "I'm here! I'm happy and enjoying life."

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In

Screen Name: 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 **     **  **     **  ********   *******   ******** 
  **   **   ***   ***     **     **     **  **       
   ** **    **** ****     **     **     **  **       
    ***     ** *** **     **      ********  ******   
   ** **    **     **     **            **  **       
  **   **   **     **     **     **     **  **       
 **     **  **     **     **      *******   ********