Coke learned its lesson.
http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1913612_1913610_1913608,00.html

The Mormon Church never will.
https://www.sltrib.com/news/2018/08/16/lds-church-wants-everyone/

...they both leave a bad, metallic after-taste.

Coke gives you more energy and helps you stay awake.

The church sucks your energy and puts you to sleep.

Roy G Biv Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Coke gives you more energy and helps you stay
> awake.

I would contend that it fools you into thinking you have more energy to give.

Their Holy Ghost fools you into thinking your intuition is an imaginary friend concerned with your worthiness.

I'd rather ingest chemicals that fool me than create chemically supported tom foolery in myself.

Just something I found online....

"What happens each time you drink a cup of coffee? Your brain sends a message to the pituitary gland, which releases a hormone that tells your adrenals to produce the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol."

I'd say if caffeine causes your body to produce adrenaline and cortisol, you're not being fooled into thinking you have more energy. Those are the same hormones that trigger fight or flight response to stress, so you do have more energy to burn. Like adding more gas to your tank so you can drive farther.

So in that respect, caffeine is truer than the holy ghost :)

Oops, forgot to change my name above....pay no attention to the man behind the smoke screen :)

Jonny the Smoke Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So in that respect, caffeine is truer than the
> holy ghost :)

Thanks! I have a testimony now of this.

In a strange twist, Coca Cola can be used to clean toilets.

Truthiness is stranger than friction.

One is [was] illegal and forbidden in the other.
The other is aloof in it's poisoning the masses.

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.

9. Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex.

8. Beer has never caused a major war.

7. They don’t force Beer on minors who can’t think for themselves.

6. When you have a Beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to give it away.

5. Nobody’s ever burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over the brand of his Beer.

4. You don’t have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.

3. There are laws saying Beer labels can’t lie to you.

2. You can prove you have a Beer.

1. If you’ve devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

Coca-Cola cures headaches, and the Mormon Church gives you one?

During my 30-year career, I used to get just about daily headaches. I didn't dare let them get bad, because they would morph into migraine monstrosities. Truly disabling, as in unable to drive myself home and throwing up.

At the first sign of one, I would get a Coke out of the machine and pop a couple of Excedrins. Worked every time. I had a couple of supervisors object, but I did it anyway.

Funny thing. In the 16+ years that I have been retired, I have not had a single migraine! And while I do enjoy the occasional Coke, I prefer the calories of, say, iced tea or hot tea.

By the way, catnip, how you feeling?

Both claim to have a super-secret formula (or ritual) that never was really secret, in spite of the hype.

Nope. for Monson Pepsi was...

They both have super-secret vaults with super-secret stuff inside.

Coke is horrible for our teeth and bones
Mormonism is bad for our brains

With Coke you get something for your money. With tscc you get a big steaming bowl of jackshit.

I find it hilarious that the announcement was "released on MORMONnewsroom.org "

[caps mine]

One is BAD for YOU.


















The other is BAD for EVERYONE!

Well, they did advertise that they would like to buy the world a Coke.

The Mormon Church wants the world to pay them tithing, bring them all their dead, and buy the world temples.