This is my first post here. I resigned from TSCC back in February of 2014 after dropping out of BYU in Provo. After that, I escaped an emotionally abusive marriage. I am transgender, a man, but TSCC will always see me as female. I left mainly because I found out LGBT people don't choose to be LGBT. It blew my mind and changed EVERYTHING. I lost my bio family after coming out, but was adopted by a wonderful family of half-atheists/half-mormon LGBT activists. Even though it's been years and I don't want to be an angry person, I am still furious. I avoid churchy stuff as much as possible, but every so often, I have to hear about yet another person I know committing suicide here in Utah. I just went to a friend's funeral a couple months ago that was a suicide. It makes me SO angry. I am so tired of all the needless death. I blame TSCC and the GA for these deaths. I think they don't give a hoot about LGBT people, as evidenced by the exclusion policy and only do token things to try and look good for the membership. How am I supposed to let go and move on with my life when they don't care about our lives and we keep dying?

Welcome TransExMo.

Wow. Powerful first post.

I have nothing noteworthy to say in reply except I appreciate your post and I wish it wasn't so and I'm so sorry for this reality and I thank you for your thoughts. Also, of course it is anger-inducing, most understandable.

Welcome!

Though the issue has had a bit more publicity lately, this has been going on in mormonism for a very long time.

One of my best friends that I grew up with in the 70's in the church committed suicide when he was 28. He was gay, and even though he'd gone "inactive," the church had messed up his head so badly that he couldn't just be himself (despite having friends who let him know they loved him no matter what he was), he was wracked by guilt and depression for years, ending in his early death. He couldn't see any way to live happily.

The church has been doing this to anyone who doesn't fit their mold for a very, very long time. All those of us out of the church can do is continue to speak up about the harm their policies and teachings cause, and to let those who don't fit in there know that out here, we accept them and love them -- and they don't need the cult to feel validated or happy or loved.

Keep speaking out. Keep being angry at the deaths. I will too.

Thank you for you post. Please don't stop.

The Mormon church has to implode on its own. Until it does ---and if it does--it will continue to impede kindness and decency wherever it can in order to maintain it's arrogant assumption of Godly superiority. As long as a certain type of person supports it, like my family it will exist and do damage to those who don't have the capacity to resist its harm. I feel your sadness and frustration.


My mother has a gay son, me, and had a trans brother whom she claimed to love and accept. However, she stands and raises her arm to the square when she watches General Conference led by the most bigoted people on then planet. How are we supposed to deal with that? How do you trust when they say they love you. I certainly don't trust the church when they say they love. And it makes it very hard to trust family when they say they do.

It feels like we live in no man's land sometimes. Just know a lot of us are in this together and we're the winners already. The Mormons just haven't discovered that yet and their arrogance means they probably never will.

Best to you. I hope you have many good times to get through the hard ones.

"I think they don't give a hoot about LGBT people"

You would be right! They don't give a rat's ass about LGBT people. Thankfully there are non-Mormons that do. You are great just the way you are. Sorry for what you have had to go through.

Hi, Sam Young is collecting stories of people who got shamed by mormon bishops. You can share your story here.

http://protectldschildren.org/share-your-story/

Here is my story

http://protectldschildren.org/555-name-hidden-cs-other-fear-of-looking-unworthy/

My story is mild compared to yours. Please share your story and spread awareness that maybe it can help someone.

I feel your pain. I'm gay, was raised Mormon, and almost became another one of those dead Mormon kids. I attempted suicide three times before I finally pulled my head out and realized I'm completely fine the way god created me, and the Mormons are the ones who should be ashamed of themselves.

The only advice I have is to live your life so well it reflects poorly on the Mormon church. I was VERY active growing up and I'm still in contact with most of the Mormons I knew growing up. And every damn one of them knows how happy I am as a gay exmormon who's been with his husband/partner for 14 years. I'm friends with most of them on Facebook, and I never fail to call out the Mormons on their B.S. I tend to be a private person, but I also post about my life occasionally just so they know that after leaving the church and living openly gay how wonderful my life is. It's glaringly obvious to all of them how much happier I am without Mormonism in my life.

Be an example to those struggling people thinking of suicide that there is definitely a happily ever after without Mormonism. That's how I fight back. Live your life as a big f-you to Mormonism.