ever been in a fast and testiphony meeting when no one gets up and there is this long awkward guilty silence.
In my opinion the weakest of the group usually gets up and repeats the same old boolshit to save the day.. in other words that person would always be my ex wife. She'd save the day until the next awkward silence of that meeting and then poke me to get up. Never did I bear a testiphony in 4 decades. I will testify that it is wonderful to be out of that horrible mind numbing joyless corporation. Amen
Tell a lie often enough and you’ll believe it. Stand up every Testimony Meeting, bear your testimony, and you’ll have one.
When cognitive dissonance sets in, you’ll remember bearing your testimony loud and obnoxiously. Then, when your shelf falls, you’ll shout, “How, the fuck, could I have been SO stupid!
Testimony meeting is a place to brag about how well your doing. Every darn time it's about the grandkids, the spouse, etc. Very few if any actually say anything to do with Jesus. Or how being a Christian is really helping this world.
I think the only ones that I could stand were the non-testimony ones. You know, the ones that we were instructed not to do.
-travel logs that were mostly secular
-medical blogs (There was a sister that talked about all the pain she experienced in her leg and foot. She finally rambled on to her own conclusion that it might be possible that her foot was fractured; despite her confidence in self-healing techniques. The following Sunday she hobbled into the chapel on crutches and leg cast.)
-family drama (Another sister went on about how each one in her family was driving her crazy. Aside from feeling peace from living the gospel, she told the entire ward that she felt extremely satisfied when she woke up from a recurring dream. She said that she felt elated after cutting off their heads. We later learned that this poor woman was successfully committed to a mental health facility after several attempts of suicide.)
This was "gold" for any investigators checking out the church.
My guess, as a never-Mo, is that this is another example of the brilliant social engineering that characterizes the Morg.
I suspect it accomplishes two things:
1. the person giving the testimony is reinforced in his belief--if he's willing to stand up and say that drivel, his mind will tell him he must actually believe it.
2. Perhaps even more important, it says to anyone watching the performance, who has doubts about the strength and depth of his own belief--or actually, possible disbelief--that he's a freak, that there's something wrong with him.
This kind of thing is actually not so unusual. You could have an entire roomful of people who have doubts--about their company, their fraternity, etc--but who will hesitate to voice them, lest they appear to be the only ones who have doubts.
> > 2. Perhaps even more important, it says to anyone > watching the performance, who has doubts about the > strength and depth of his own belief--or actually, > possible disbelief--that he's a freak, that > there's something wrong with him.
Yes, this is one reason why the internet is so bad for Mormonism. It's one thing that the damaging information is available, but I think even more harmful is the fact that now those who disbelieve or question can be reinforced that they are NOT a 'freak' or 'in a tiny minority.' The internet has allowed people like us to become visible and seen as not insignificant.
Mormonism is supposed to be God's WONDERFUL true church on earth. ANYONE who really knew what it is should be madly devoted to it. But here we are gazillions strong with tons of RMs and former bishops, RS presidents etc. We are full of people who should be strong believers in the Church, but we're not. This contradicts their narrative.
We've given the Church a chance. We've read the Book of Mormon and prayed sincerely about it. We've served missions, we've been in leadership callings. Yet we have come to the conclusion that it's phony. We're not supposed to exist. The fact that there are so many of us is a problem to their claims.
Generic Testimony: Where a good percentage of people says the same thing: "I know that this church is true. I know that I'm a daughter/son of god. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet called to restore this gospel. I know that the Book of Mormon is the truest book." Something along the lines of that.
The Humblebrag Testimony: "The blessings have been filling our household. Our son is engaged. Our other son is going on a mission. Our lives are just so awesome...blah, blah, blah..." with no thought of the member(s) that may be struggling, and probably asking themselves what's wrong with them that they cannot obtain such blessings. There's also the newly engaged/married couple that bears their testimony on being engaged or just being married. "What did I do to deserve such a righteous son/daughter of god?!"
The Crier: The person that grabs a tissue that just cries through their testimony, and sometimes makes you so uncomfortable that you can barely make out what they're saying.
The Child-Fed Testimony: Where the parent comes up with their child, bears their testimony, and then has their child bear their testimony (when it's pretty much the parent whispering in their child's ear on what to say."
The Story Teller: The one that gets up on the pulpit and talks for a long, long, long, long time. Sometimes on random stuff.
The Broken Record (I guess this could be equivalent to the generic testimony): The ones that get up on the pulpit every month and says that same thing, every month.
I don't remember hearing much about Jesus. Maybe 9% of the testimonies that I've heard during my 11-12 years in TSCC were about Jesus.
By the way, let me know if I missed anything.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/03/2018 04:14PM by severedpuppetstrings.