Posted by:
Honest TB[long]
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Date: September 25, 2018 09:47AM
Its not TB "M" thou wicked people as the super holy prophet Nelson hath gotten a super important revelation on the most important issue facing mankind in 2018 regarding the name of the people who belong to the most honest/transparent Church, even a true Church, upon the earth. Thus I'm now "Honest TB[long]". Only an anti-[long] could think there is any more important issue facing mankind in 2018.
Well we believe in the Bible, and of course we add on the caveat of "as far as its translated correctly". That way if someone shares some embarrassing story from the Bible we could quickly give the "as far as its translated correctly" excuse to suggest that maybe that particular story wasn't accurate in the Bible. However that's not completely accurate because the "as far as its translated correctly" statement by Joseph Smith was made solely because we have the doctrinally accepted perfect translation called the "Joseph Smith Translation" (JST) of the Bible. Well there are some people who don't think that the JST is perfect and they are the anti-[long]s and you can tell that anyone claiming to be an apologist that rejects any JST Bible verses/stories is a very dishonest person. And thanks to the miracle of the Internet in the 21st century we can now quickly look up the JST and thus not have to worry about excuses anymore but just focus on the holy writ which we need to consider as the eternally unchangeable and full of non-embarrassing truths.
Some of the golden gems there.
1. Jonah 2:5 The waters compassed me about, even to the soul; the depth closed me round about; the weeds were wrapped about my head.
http://centerplace.org/hs/iv/iv-jon.htm2. Gen 8:37-38 ... every beast after his kind, and all the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing that creepeth on the earth after his kind, and every fowl after his kind, and every bird of every sort; And they went unto Noah into the ark, two and two of all flesh wherein is the breath of life; and they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as God had commanded him ...
http://centerplace.org/hs/iv/iv-gen.htm3. 2Kin 2:23-24 And he went up from thence unto Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood and tore forty and two children of them.
http://centerplace.org/hs/iv/iv-2ki.htmThis last story about the bald prophet Elisha reminds me of the super holy Crown Prince in the Church right now who is patiently waiting for the holy prophet Nelson to pass on so he can be the holy prophet himself. In this scripture we learn about how the "Protect Children" program is really envisioned to work by Church leaders. If sincere investigators with small children ever start visiting the Wards in my Stake, but they don't because the anti-Church literatures scares all sincere investigators away, then we'll share with them the story about these two she bears and the 42 children so they can know what to expect for their children in the Church and in the course of their interviews. I was starting to wonder if the Church might abandon our beloved doctrines and take a path of actually caring for the safety of the children like that anti-Elisha guy named Sam Young was pushing. However that excommunication sure shows the world that we're fully behind the Bible way of handling things and that we applaud the story of Elisha, she bears, and the 42 kids.
There are other stories I could share. But I don't have all day to post on this board. Being busy bees in this [Long]ism is very busy with no real time to think. We got to clean chapel toilets so poor Heavenly Father can save money on janitorial expenses. We got plenty of other things to do too.