It's a few days away (Oct 6).

Any predictions?

Will they allow Wendy to be the concluding speaker so she can have the last word?

Will members be asked to keep a notebook on their night stands to right down revelations from their sleep?

Are any of the Q15 too sick to speak?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/26/2018 03:11PM by messygoop.

I predict many hours of boring television with some old white guy standing at a mic, droning on about obedience and tithing and how wonderful their "prophet" that never prophesies anything is.

I also predict I won't watch a single moment of it.

If I'm right about either, I'm more of a prophet than Russ is...:)

Oct. 6th??

Aww damn, I'm going to miss it. I'll be studying the Book of Mormon that afternoon. The Book of Mormon musical that is!! From my seat in Row C!! Hasa diga eebowai!!

Prediction - Porn is bad. I still need more research.

Pay, pray and obey

and shut up

messygoop Wrote:
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> Will members be asked to keep a notebook on their
> night stands to right down revelations from their
> sleep?

All temple recommend holders and currently full tithe payers will receive free iPads for this purpose.

I predict I will be naked.

I assume October 6th night is their General Priesthood Session? I will be posing nude for my drawing group that night. I will be their first attendee to model!

No Priestcraft.....oh, I mean Priesthood session this time. It's in April. October is the Women's session of conference. they alternate now.

Women's Conference = 2 hours of mansplaining.

Thanks. Didn't know.

A few minor administrative changes will be hailed as great revelations.

Mormons will be ministered to by old men via old time "social media."

Mimosas for all!!


Wait. What?

My prediction is that is will be something about how horrible porn is. They may also reference the horrors of cannabis, and why we should vote republican (of course not said like that...)

Word around the High Society here in the Wasatch is that there is suppose to be lots of special announcements coming this GC. Lot's of changes. But we can't talk about what they are (even though special Mormons in the right special families already know). So I don't know what it is just that it's gunna be big stuff!

Are you excited yet? lol!

anono this week Wrote:
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> Are you excited yet? lol!

Will there be angels? A Jesus visit? Something vaguely exciting like an alternation of a policy involving a minority of members for whom they have a history of treating poorly?

Hmm... how about revealing what "having your calling and election made sure" means?

Or missionaries being able to call home more frequently/no longer allowed to call home?

Something about meeting schedules...?

I predict I won't listen, watch, or attend.

Members will gush about it, no matter how boring.

The Majority of members will use this weekend to vacation or do whatever while the Minority of members will attend, listen to, or pretend to listen to conference.

Will this be the one where they finally tell us where Zarahemla was????

Inquiring minds want to know!!!!!

Don't know, don't care.

angela Wrote:
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> Don't know, don't care!

I'd be satisfied to know where Cumorah scene of last battle) is...

just sayin'

Lamanites will get in for half-price!!

(1) Publicly apologize to Sam Young
(2) Require parents to be present for teen interviews
(3) Announce the return of all tithing money collected (with interest)
(4) Priesthood taken from men, given to women
(5) Sacrament to use whiskey shots
(6) Church chapels to be converted to bowling alleys
(7) Premarital sex encouraged
(8) Missions will be used to do real service to developing countries
(9) Title of prophet changed to "Badass"
(10) Badassadam promoted to first church "Badass", to oversee the destruction to the quorum of 12.
(11) All GAs will clean chapels until their death

#2 could really happen. The rest, would be groovy, but won't happen (sadly)

I wish that were true. IT won't happen.

chipace Wrote:
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> (5) Sacrament to use whiskey shots


I'd probably go back to church if that was permitted! Imagine the testimonies that would be born with Whiskey on an empty stomach!
lol

I'm still hoping, waiting for someone to get extremely disrupted that they'd have to be carried out by security. I know that it's probably impossible, but a girl can hope, right.

And it would be shown during the live version, and course edited out of the web streamed versions.

I predict that I will run 50 miles in a 24 hour endurance race in Tennessee that I am doing Saturday Oct 6'th, and enjoy the physical pain associated with that run more than I would if I sat my butt in front of the TV set and snored my way through GC....

It has a trailer!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISbEBNS3Bfs

Elder Berry Wrote:
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> It has a trailer!
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISbEBNS3Bfs

And the first 80 seconds resembles nothing that is found in the LDS church. Most of us believe that if JC showed up on temple square, then he would be dragged off by church security. His teachings are not practiced by the church unless building city creek mall is recorded somewhere in the New Testament.

The second part about JS is more accurately depicted by the South Park episode...dumb...dumb...dumb

If there's a PH meeting (isn't there one for each GC?), the wymens will be at home making donuts...

I think Grandpa Russ is going to say that he had a wet dream and woke up and grabbed his pad and pen to write it down so he could ponderize on its meaning. And when he did he realized that it meant that orgasms are wonderful and everyone should have them whether they're 94 years old or whether they are gay or whether they are lovely unmarried women or young men trying to serve the Lard.

So God wants everyone to partake of this glorious gift he has endowed us with. And from now on, touching yourself is ordained of God and will not be brought up in worthiness interviews. But we still have to have interviews to harangue you about touching someone else to whom you are not legally and lawfully wed or someone who you are lawfully wed to but whose genitalia matches yours. These things are an abomination to God.

And while all the sheeple are going "ooooh, aaaaah, he really IS a prophet," it will be kept quiet that all the G.A.s happened to purchase stock in Adam&Eve and SimpliPleasure the week before the announcement.

Guest Appearance!
Orin Hatch will be Honored/Given an advance viewing of his 'Eternal Reward' for unselfishly serving the LDS cause
Hatch, who has announced his senate retirement (after Many years), will be honored & give brief (?) remarks.

However, who will get the check for after-refreshments hasn't been decided or at least announced as of now;

Papa Murphy's or Dominos?



********


Since 'gospel' = lds church to TBMs, there might be some ambiguous references to Honesty, Kindness, etc.; Of Course the viewers & listeners - readers will all be told (sometimes subtly, sometimes Not) that those are patented / trade-marked & are the exculsive property of Intellectual Reserve, Inc.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/28/2018 04:30PM by GNPE.

These were interesting.

"1.) Males and Females can go on Missions at 18 and serve 24 months: these combats the severe decline in the # of Missionaries serving.
2.) The One year waiting period across the board if one has a civil marriage first. – The removes the tension this is causing many and relieves one item on the shelf of some who step back due to Mormonism’s abusive mechanisms.
3.) Going to a 2 hour block as the standard. This relieves those who are overly burdened in callings and it allows a ward to get by with less people due to the exodus of members. It also allows those who don’t feel uplifted to more easily justify continued attendance.
4.) Garments are only required inside the temple. This relieves another point of serious tension with younger members who struggle to justify adherence to such codes of behavior when they are collectively losing trust in the Church’s authorities.
5.) for those going through the endowment for the dead, reducing the endowment sesssion to 1 hour. Again reducing the burden and boredom of younger members who lack the same blind commitment to the Church that their parents and grandparents had.
6.) This one seems mundane but is at the heart of the rumors. The SLC Temple will close for a 5 year renovation. If this one comes to pass, I trust the other 5 even if not implemented are being discussed in depth in top Church circles."
https://mormondiscussionpodcast.org/2018/09/mormon-discussion-2018-general-conference-rumors-predictions-and-why/

If it's true that the GAs & their underlings are hyping this conference for 'something new/exciting', there will be lots of disappointment, particularly from those who still cling to theio hope/fantasy of real, significant reform from tscc.


One thing they sh/could do: end early morning seminary which steals needed sleep & some family time from attendees & instructors.

Oops, My Bad. Sorry

SOMEBODY will get stuck
By a volunteer (missionary)
Purse Patter and Security Shakedowner
Checking for wisdom, advice, and authority.

People can bring their arms.
But no guns. No backpackers.
No beverage containers.
No yawning and NO FACT CHECKING.

Just another gathering of workers to brow - and bro - beat.

I predict some wig bigs will feel more pompous than before - supposing that is possible - strutting across the closed street.

Nothing new.

M@t

There've been changes for this coming conference re: what people are allowed to bring in etc. I wonder if they'll announce that all future GCs will be broadcast only and that no one will be able to attend live in the conference center.

cocoaberry Wrote:
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> There've been changes for this coming conference re: what people are allowed to bring in etc. I wonder if they'll announce that all future GCs will be broadcast only and that no one will be able to attend live in the conference center.

It'll be broadcast to a dead serious fake audience (which isn't saying much), and it has to be live, or dead. One day you'll have to come in your garments and bring nothing... but maybe a blue barf bag, black blindfold, elephant earplugs, a white hairy hanky or a blank stare, but your hands must be invisible, if brought to cover your mouth, eyes, or ears, but visible to salute, 'vote', shake or flip signs.

M@t

All the building seats will be occupied by MoRoyalty,

SPs, former SPs, & SP wanna-bes; Area Representatives, Former Area Representatives, & Area Representative wanna-bes; GAs, former GAS, GA wanna-bes; COB managers, former managers, manager wanna-bes (space available basis, maybe SRO); MPs, former MPs, & wanna-be MPs (wives & GFs, S/Os (space available basis, SRO)

Sorry, no seats available for less-status individuals than the above;

unwashed masses need secure accounts, & assigned PW + TR barcode # to view online;

wymen encouraged to STAY HOME MAKING DONUTS!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/02/2018 06:04PM by GNPE.

I'm going to predict:

Same Shit, Different Day.

It's all hype to get people to tune in...B I G N E W S...Big News! But its not really. Last times big announcement was ministering...which is home teaching with different lipstick.

Has anyone even figured out what "ministering" actually means? In my ward, it looks like HT/VT with gossip about the assigned ministrees instead of visits.

I'm having a vision-I think it's a prophecy-that I will not be watching GC.

Eyring will make that clicky, dry mouth, old-man mouth noise, along with his weird laughing cry.

The Morg is flying in a special Mormon choir from Africa, to perform with the Motab choir.

The first two rows of TV-forefront seats will be occupied by Africans, or people who just look like Africans on TV.

What a great work of charity to fly them to America for a few days--so much more spiritual and life-changing than giving them real help at home.

I'm thinking they're running out of steam on the temple-building, or so it seems, but some of the TBMs are convinced that even more is yet to come.

From a commenter at the LDS church growth blog:

"As noted in previous threads, President Oaks, Elder Bednar, and Sister Joy D. Jones have all been quoted as saying that the Church will significantly accelerate construction of currently-announced temples, and that we haven't seen anything yet as far as President Nelson's temple-building legacy, which is anticipated to outpace and overshadow that which we saw under President Hinckley's inspired smaller-temple design boom of the late 1990s and early 2000s.

Some have suggested that the plan will again involve doubling (or perhaps even tripling) the number of temples over the next 5-10 years. And with President Nelson being more healthy than any prophet we have had in the last 20 years or longer, I don't see any scenario in which his plans would not be detailed in the upcoming General Conference, and in which several new temples are not announced."

I think this "prediction" is a little insane though and smacks of desperation but who knows. The same commenter feels that Nelson could be around "for another decade or two" which is really over optimistic.

Instant polling will be conducted during the talks for the following categories:

Sappiness

Boastful Bashing of Doubters and Apostates

Crying

Making confident statements that are demonstrably false

Statements that will are likely to be reversed by future prophets, seers and revelators

Fawning praise of the current prophet

Lecturing and chastising the youth

Corny analogies, rhythms, alliterations and other literary devices

creative use of the word "even"

These ratings will then comprise an overall composite score.

LDS, Inc. will then aggregate the data and publish the category and overall scores next to the talks in the Ensign. It should be helpful in deciding which talks people may wish to reread, or review online.

Of this I testify, in the name of Even Steven Christ--Amen!

They just won’t cry over all the Tithing talks.

Good point. Dry eyes when money talks.

Is this the year the Double-Tithe will be sanctified?

And will the DT-participants be given the 1-1/2 Anointing?

Tithing will now be done EQUALLY, no matter how much you make or need to live.

Instead or paying weakly, members now pay daily (in blood, sweat, & tears).

The 'church' still takes 90% of your time, money, value, thoughts and emotions.

M@t

That’s one of the things I picked up from having KUTV on in the background. Between sessions, there was a show about Russell M. Nelson where we learn he wakes up in the night with revelations ... from the Lord! Does He not want His globetrotting 90-something mouthpiece to be well rested?! LOL