First, let me introduce myself to those of you who don't know me. I've been involved with the exmo on-line community since 1997 and have been helping Eric with the exmormon.org site since about the year 2000. Most of my work has been in the shadows, though I occasionally pop my head up to moderate things on the bulletin board.

My philosphy for the site is indeed aligned with Eric's and I don't expect exmormon.org's core mission or values to change much in the days to come. That hasn't always been the case: in the early days of the exmo community, I was much more interested in activism and trying to explicitely confront the church. Over the years, I have come to agree with Eric and Susan I/S that activism isn't particularly productive or even necessary. The church is in the process of tearing itself apart, and doing so in a far more effective manner than we ever could. Our best strategy right now is to keep publishing the truth and helping the wounded.

The most harmful lie that the church ever taught is that people who leave it will be alone and unhappy. The fear of that lie keeps the membership bound to a harmful cult and prevents them from being themselves and seeing people outside the church as wonderful, friendly human beings. The primary mission of exmormon.org will be demonstrating how false and pernicious that lie is.

The transition from Eric to me will not be instantaneous and the mantle will be passed, bit by bit, over the next few weeks. There was no precipitating crisis for the change, just Eric's need to simplify his life during retirement. He's put a lot of effort and resources into the site and the movement over the years and deserves our deepest gratitude. He's saved lives and changed the world for the better.

I will note that I also have a lot going on in my life and so will be delegating some tasks in the near future. Security and trust are paramount so we will be reaching out, personally, to appropriate individuals. As the song goes, "Don't call us. We'll call you."

One my my near term goals is to modernize some of the technology on the site and to update the look. That doesn't mean the bulletin board will change much. Those of you who have been clamoring for avatars and fancy graphics will continue to be disappointed because we are going to stay with a simple, low-bandwidth, easy-to-read format. The front page of exmormon.org will get cleaned up and there will be other changes in the background, but the bulletin board will be similar.

As far as the bulletin board goes, our hope is that it remains a useful community for both our regulars and for newly-questioning Mormons who need our help. To maintain the community, we ask that the atmosphere be friendly and congenial. Personal attacks and bickering will not be tolerated. We don't expect that everyone will agree with each other, but the conversations should be adult and respectful. Violators may be asked to take a time out. Repeat violators may be banned. I'm very forgiving of people who are sincere and will change their ways, but those who intentionally deceive or harm our community will be shown the door with extreme prejudice. On this topic I am far more ruthless than Eric ever was.

Remember that the administrators and moderators are here to make sure that things run smoothly, not to mediate disputes between posters. Please don't ask us to. Also, please don't make demands: go ahead and tell us how you're feeling, but don't try to tell us what to do. That's a rude to our small cadre of volunteers.

For general suggestions and inquiries, please just post on the bulletin board. To notify us of offending posts, use the report facility (you need to be logged on to do that).

If you need to get a hold of me, send e-mail to concrete.zipper@gmail.com. I'm busy and may or may not reply but I will do my best to help with legitimate concerns.

Here's to a bright future and friendly community, free of the control of an oppressive church. Things are looking up and we all have reason to be optimistic.

CZ (admin)

Okay then!!

The King is retiring; Long live the heir!

I'll try to keep my bickering below the threshold, but I can't know the new threshold without testing it. Oh, how I do despise pretentious phoneys! I know Eric was also leaning in this direction...

It's going to be your RfM, CZ, and I wish you the best, and I'll do my darndest to support and sustain RfM. (Yes, my arm was to the square!)

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Okay then!!
>
> The King is retiring; Long live the heir!
>
> I'll try to keep my bickering below the threshold,
> but I can't know the new threshold without testing
> it. Oh, how I do despise pretentious phoneys! I
> know Eric was also leaning in this direction...
>
> It's going to be your RfM, CZ, and I wish you the
> best, and I'll do my darndest to support and
> sustain RfM. (Yes, my arm was to the square!)

<applause>

Concrete Zipper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------


>
> The most harmful lie that the church ever taught
> is that people who leave it will be alone and
> unhappy. The fear of that lie keeps the membership
> bound to a harmful cult and prevents them from
> being themselves and seeing people outside the
> church as wonderful, friendly human beings. The
> primary mission of exmormon.org will be
> demonstrating how false and pernicious that lie
> is.
>

Hear, hear. And that lie continues, subtly, even in their conference sessions this weekend.

Thanks CZ, for taking on the task of this site. Many of us know it's not easy, and I hope none of us ever forget that there are those Mormons who find themselves needing support as they leave Mormonism.

They are not alone. Not even close.

This can't be considered a true epistle unless the verses are numbered, yea, every whit.

I heard somewhere 'when you are in the service of your fellowmen you are in the service of your God or not,' based on your beliefs!

Good luck!!!

Just one suggestion: you should conclude epistles with “Brethren, adieu.”

I was actually thinking of something like, "Greet thy SO's with an holy (i.e. consenting, loving) kiss."

More Pauline, but updated for the 21st century.

CZ

So let it be written. So let it be done!

Welcome to the helm, CZ! It sounds like the board is in good hands.

ETA -- I've always felt welcome here as a nevermo, but I am encouraged by your comments that sympathetic nevermos will continue to find a place here.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/07/2018 07:03PM by summer.

Concrete Zipper. HMMN. I could be in trouble here. I try to behave but sometimes it's taken as something other.

I like that you mention how the church wants to see us as unhappy.

When I came out as Exmo and gay my mother's big concern was that now without the church I had no choice but to have an unhappy life. Not kidding. She said that in tears. Well the tears were sort of forced, but that was the sitch.

"Don't want you to end up like Aunt Zelda" she said implying Zelda's misery. I asked, "Did Aunt Zelda tell you she was unhappy?" "Well, no. But I know she is."

True story that.


I have had the best life. Happy, sad, trying, victorious, and the most successful in the family. Still, the other day, my mother told one of my sisters that it was a shame I just didn't understand the gospel so I could know their joy. Face palm.

You have taken on very important work CZ. I am in awe.

Thanks in advance.

Glad to have you! Good luck with the added responsibility.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/07/2018 05:32PM by Cheryl.

Welcome, and thank you for taking on the daunting task of running RfM.

That sounds - and looks - wonderful
Good to hear the news, and olds
I like you already-relish rfm
Good practices and Great love

M@t

I'm sure Eric will be around and wish him a happy retirement. I don't post much these days but keep my eyes on the board.

Best wishes to you and your loved ones CZ. Here's to good tapas and friendship!

Hugs

Briggy

Although I no longer post very often, I have been here from the very early days and I applaud you taking the helm, CZ. I am sure that this place will remain a safe place to grieve, learn and grow. Eric, a sincere thank you for all you have done for so many.

Thanks so much for adopting us, concrete zipper! You are a lifesaver. Have a great afternoon!

Nothing to say to the Ephesians?

CZ strikes me as too Ephetiant for the Ephesians.

Uncle.

What does "Ephentiant" mean?

So I am reminded of the words of Samuel B Morse.....

"what hath god wrought?

This is a good thing guys :) I have worked with CZ all these many years and we are damn lucky he decided to do this. I will warn ya though, he has a fine-tuned BS meter and he doesn't put up with it.

And he is scary smart.

Music to my ears!!!!!!!

Susan I/S Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is a good thing guys :) I have worked with
> CZ all these many years and we are damn lucky he
> decided to do this. I will warn ya though, he has
> a fine-tuned BS meter and he doesn't put up with
> it.
>
> And he is scary smart.

Scary smart! Absolutely right Susan. What an assett!!

Briggy

'If you need to get a hold of me, send e-mail to concrete.zipper'

I'm not sure that 'get a hold of me' and 'Zipper' should be in the same sentence :)

I am very happy that you won't put up with abuse.

CZ has already told me some of his ideas. They sound great. I told him he does not need my permission. This is his baby now. We will finish transitioning in a few weeks. He will be the refresh the site needs. I guess I just ran out of gas and it is best to turn it over to someone else and CZ is perfect. He is also a busy individual and will need some assistance. The current crop of admins will continue. I hesitated asking him as he is quite busy with his career and life. He is also extremely intelligent.

I want to add that Susan I/S is the biggest reason the site continued for many years! All the work she did was amazing and laid the ground work for keeping the board running. I have been receiving notes of gratitude, much of it should actually be directed towards Susan.

I echo Eric’s gratitude for Susan I/S. Her tireless efforts kept the site usable (and helpful to so many) for well over a decade.

CZ