Finally tackled Martha Beck's Leaving the Saints. Honestly, I went into it not knowing what it was about other than her exit story. Damn. My entire life (all almost four decades) has been shaped, predetermined if you will, by the abuse I suffered first as a child and then later by my husband. Born this way? Honey, I was BORN to be victimized. That was my special lot in this Mormon life. I served a distinct purpose to the men around me. PTSD is a rotten bitch. I appreciated the well written story, but I haven't been a virgin since 3 or 4 and it's only been 3 years since I've had a large bone broken for me. Why am I drawn to things that will whirlwind me right back into memories and sleepless nights? Ugh!!!! This much I know is true, I was used and abused and discarded as piece of defiled trash of no worth. My entire life has been spent proving them wrong to the detriment of my own well being. Fuck. Yeah, it felt good to say the eff word.

nice to "see" you again! i remember your story a bit..... awful.... how can people do such heinous things to each other.... especially do so much harm to someone who is unable to protect themselves!! my heart goes out to you!!

Hi! Nice to see you, too. I take my breaks. Sometimes its too hard to drop in and I have to take a step back. Other times, I'm very, very angry about my past. I'm torn between bitterness at my beginnings and gratitude that its over and I'm moving on. And thanks!!!

Your moniker makes me a little hot. Just sayin'.

just sayin! :)

Nice. Tall, blonde, and in uniform with daddy issues. Great. ;)

i am:
nice
tall=6'4"
blonde.....well i used to be when i was a life guard
no uniform.... but that can be arranged!
barbie...you are for me.....forget Mikee!! he wont switch anyway! :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/14/2011 02:47PM by bignevermo.

That's just their way of saying welcome back. They don't know any better!



Glad you're back!

Yes, PTSD is a total bitch, but does make me understand my clientle much better. Not interested in turning anyone. ;) If the bishops haven't accomplished that with marrying off all those pretty, young things, doubtful I can. And Thanks! Glad to be back among my old "ward."

PTSD is totally a bitch.

You said it, honey heart with a kung fu grip.

Hey, Martha's book got to me and I've never suffered any abuse. It's a normal reaction, and when you've been there done that, your anger is totally natural.