So, they knock, you open the door... What's the first line the kids say? I'm looking for real or funny answers.

I'm lucky. I've NEVER had Mormon missionaries at my door. Just JWs once every couple of years. I recognize them and usually speak first, expressing my disinterest. I would do the same for Mormon missionaries.

To some degree (they won't admit) it depends on a few things:

- If they have an appointment scheduled for 'soon';

- What's the weather like? friendly or no?

- Where are they in their day? Is yours the first door or last? How have neighbors responded?

- What's the companion relationship like? friends & trust or ?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/25/2018 02:29PM by GNPE.

They tell me that they want to share a message about Jesus. The last time they came by, I told them that I’d heard all I ever care to hear about Jesus.

The first thing they said was how nice I looked. I replied that I didn't look nice as I just came back from a long walk in the wind. They avoided saying they were mormon. I can't remember the whole conversation, but then they asked me about going to church and I told them I resigned. They said, "Oh, that's sad." I said, "Not for me it isn't." That shocked them. Then they asked me for people who I knew who I thought would be willing to listen to them and I said I didn't. I ran into the same set of missionaries in the local convenience store approaching every person who came in offering to do service for them. Nobody took them up on it.

I also had some male missionaries stop me on a Sunday some months back when I was out walking my dogs during church. They asked me if I attended another ward and I told them, "No, I have resigned." Then the more friendly one BEGGED me to give them some service projects to do and he promised they'd never talk to me about the church. I never took them up on it.

I can't help but pity these kids.
what a waste of time for them, and those they try to talk to.

That’s so sad. They have the pushy ones who are arrogant and really into the church, then you have the poor kids as you’ve described.Theyre only doing it out of pressure and are desperate, so they have to beg to do favours and not even talking about the church, to get the MP off their back.
If I knew they really weren’t going to talk about the church and needed some work around the house, I would, even if I had nothing to do and wanted company, I’d let them in and show a movie or something
I’ll feel like I’m putting one over on the church
The arrogant ones, I’d slam the door on them

Usually. What is your name? I think it's rude to ask someone's name without introducing yourself first.

I've had one open with "why don't you go to church?" As soon as I opened the door. I just closed the door in their face.

I had one babble something in Spanish. I told him I don't speak Spanish but he kept babbling away. I told him no one here speaks Spanish. Finally I just closed the door. Then they went next door and asked my neighbor in enhlish, when the lady next door that spoke Spanish would be home. She told them no lady who speaks Spanish lived at my address.

Not seen missionarries for about 5 years.



.

Sadly, Mormons believe that the social pressure they put on candidates is a blessing / good thing.

Admit: I went partly to avoid going to Viet Nam on uncle's travel plan. I wish I'd gone into the Coast Guard.

In the Zurich Switzerland mission (1980s) we said, "wir sind von die Kirche Jesu Christi der Heiligen der Letzten Tage, und wir wollen mit ihnen sprechen." I'm sure I didn't get that 100% correct, but that's pretty much what I said.

Translated into english: "we're from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (what a mouth full) and we'd like to talk to you."

That was our direct approach. We tried other approaches without success so mostly just used the direct approach.

Most people said they weren't interested and shut the door.

At this time of year I un-fondly remember the cold and damp winter months in Switzerland, knocking on endless doors, constantly looking at my watch to see if it was time to stop. Those were the longest and most wasteful hours I ever spent. Vegging out in front of the television would have been a better use of my time.

A couple of missionaries told me that they were emissaries of the Lord Jesus Christ and they had a special message for me.
They thought it disrespectful that I said Jesus was welcome to come himself if he wanted to talk.

You reminded me of an exchange I had with them when they used the "we have a message for you from God" line.

Elders: We have a message for you from God.

Me: Really. From God himself?

Elders: absolutely

Me: Don't you guys live just three houses down the street from me?

Elders: Yes we do.

Me: So. God himself traveled all the way to earth from Kolob with an important message for me. Missed my house by 50 yards and instead of walking over here, gave you a message for me, then headed back to Kolob?

Elders: look confused and stare at each other as I close the door.

That's great! I'm going to try this one next time it happens.

brook Wrote:
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> ... they knock, you open the door. What's the first line the kids say? I'm looking for real or funny answers. >

Sorry, I have run out of real, and of funny, answers, but I've not run out of real funny answers, so I might try one of those. Doubtful though. Most expired hours ago.

Let's start with what do I say? It is my door, after all. And it doesn't HAVE TO open for anyone, so don't suppose it does.

The FIRST THING I say is "Welcome to the crazy quick and weird rituals and beliefs club, boys"! "When would you like to be baptised"?

I would say 'High boys (I mean low boys), let me fill you with the gospel of ever-loving now, where we don't deal with problems like eternal fixes or graceless escapees, or even pay-to-play gospel working programs, much less pressure agents, sales forces, explainers, reps., walking billboards, or floating free-workers.

Point to my sign: TRUTH ONLY Beyond This Point
I highly doubtful they would enter. What would be the point
If I have more truth than them, I wouldn't be a mark, but a

M@t

Missionaries were the start as to what brought me into TSCC in 2004, just like a lot of people here I'm sure.

Anyway, there was this one time when I was leaving a Folk Festival in Takoma Park, and boarded the Metro rail to go to a poetry reading in Arlington. As I boarded the train, I had a strange feeling that I was being watched and followed. Strange, right?
Well, as I sat down, a young woman sits in the seat right in front of me. I'm looking out of the window, but she awkwardly smiles over at me and out of politeness, I smile back. She asks me how my day is going, and I say well and ask her the same. She then observes me and notices the burgundy awareness ribbon charm that I was wearing on my necklace and says, "I see you have the breast cancer ribbon." I would correct her and say that the burgundy awareness ribbon represented Arteriovenous Malformation (AVM). She would ask me about it and asked me how I got through living with the condition. I said that a lot of patience and determination did, but I guess that was not the correct answer for her because she would ask me if I would say that God got me through it. When she would give her name by showing her name-tag, I had an "Oh shit!" moment. She would say that she would like to set up a place and time to meet with me and teach me about Jesus. I would politely decline because I had already been there and done that.
She would get off the train at the very next stop.
I should have known that this young woman might be a Mormon. It was 85 degrees and humid, and she was in a sweater. Not to generalize all Mormons through.

There was another time after work when I was walking home from the Metro station and from a distance, I see two elders/missionaries talking to one of my neighbors at the bus stop bench. I tried not to make eye-contact with them, because I did not want them to approach me, let alone find my apartment.
Well about an hour and a half later I hear a knock at my door. I automatically thought that it would be my brother's ex to drop off my nephew for his weekend visit. But it turned out to be the missionaries and I damn near had a panic attack.
They said, "Were you expecting us?" and I say, "No." and they said, "Oh, okay, you just looked a little surprised." Then they proceeded to say that they were from CoJCoLDS, that they had a message to share with me and that there was a meetinghouse right up the road from me. I would politely decline. I didn't want to get nasty with them because they have been so polite to me and my neighbors. They took my declination well, just like they've done when my neighbors declined.

As I read these posts, I can't help to think about the times when people in my first ward pressured me to serve a mission. I would eventually give in and get my papers ready, but that changed when my family lost their home, and over a year later when I was hospitalized for an AVM rupture. I'm quite glad that it did not work out.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/26/2018 09:58AM by severedpuppetstrings.

Thanks! Going through that was tough, but it was a humbling experience, and it taught me so much. Compassion, patience and so much more.
Plus I'm doing by best to enjoy life a little more since I got a second chance at it. :-)

Don't open the door.
When they knock, stay behind your closed door and ask, "What is wanted?"

If they don't give the right answer, tell them they need to go back through the temple again and get it right.

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don't open the door.
> When they knock, stay behind your closed door and
> ask, "What is wanted?"
>
> If they don't give the right answer, tell them
> they need to go back through the temple again and
> get it right.

Like!

That’s a good one!

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don't open the door.
> When they knock, stay behind your closed door and
> ask, "What is wanted?"
>
> If they don't give the right answer, tell them
> they need to go back through the temple again and
> get it right.

Ha!

And if you get approached in public and they reach out to shake your hand, you can do it by giving one of the (temple) signs. lol/

Can we stay out or do we need to ask to come in?

What kind of questions are those? Hoser.

Please don't point that gun at me.

They don't identify themselves as Mormons.

Their name tags JESUS CHRIST in bold print, latter day saints in small print.

They ask questions designed to draw me out: do I believe in God? Jesus? etc.

I smile and tell them their beliefs are fine, I just prefer Christianity, thanks all the same.

This is a turn in the conversation that their training didn't prepare them for.

OK ~

be ziller ~

OK ~

Thanksgiving Day ~

ziller be hanging out at TBM parental units' house ~

imagine ~

siblings, ex-wives, siblings-in-laws, offspring, nieces, nephews, friends of family all hanging out ~

total chaos ~

that there Thanksgiving thing going on ~

OK ~

so ~

one of the barely legal nieces is outside the family mansion on the fabulously manicured lawn and wants to come in thru the front door ~

ziller locks the door so she hast to knock to get in ~

brb ~ lol ~

ziller cracks the door open and sez, "what do you want? we are closed." ~

niece sez, "wut do you know about the Ch__ch of Jeezus Christ of Ladder Day Saints ?" ~

ziller sez, "Everything. What do you want to know about it ?" ~

niece turns around and goes back outside the family mansion to the fabulously manicured lawn ~

ziller re-locks the door and turns around and goes to find someone to make ziller a turkey samwich ~






RfM thots ? ~

As little as possible
When I have their ear

'Course they are not as my door either
Either way, I wouldn't dither

M@t

"ouch!!" because my door is very heavy and swings outward. Sometimes I forget to tell people at the door to stand clear and they get knocked around pretty good by the door. So far no fatalities or permanent injuries.

Oops, wrong address.

They are not welcome at my door. My "No Proselytizing" sign seems to be working.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/28/2018 02:57PM by Amyjo.