Posted by:
smirkorama
(
)
Date: December 26, 2018 01:31PM
earthdaughter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Has anyone else struggled with this, whether they
> actually went through with it or didn't because of
> the effect it would have on parents or other
> family?
Has anyone struggled with it? well, maybe I have.
My MORmON enforcement agent male parent could beat the Hell out of little kids like a real pro. kick their butts so hard that their feet would come right off the ground.
Oh, he would not bang up em too bad, because then they could not work around the family farm and the law might come in, but he would really work them over. the only flaw in that plan of his was that by the time I was in my mid teens, I had been worked so much and beaten so much, that the beatings were no longer effective because I was physically substantial enough that I could handle anything he could dish out.
FTR, I never hit him,
I would not do that kind of thing for what ever reason.
I only raised my hands to deflect his blows.
But dont worry, my younger brother who is a real douche bag so much like him, did punch him right the face one time.
From there, as I was more of an adult, he moved on to threatening to kill me, which was just like an upgraded version of all the times he told me that I was completely worthless and no good .....while he was successfully working me like slave.
Eventually I got somewhat used to that too. because he, Thankfully, did not make an actual attempt and just as thankfully I moved away from home so I was not around him as much which mediated the troubled situation.
However. I always believed that he really did feel fully entitled to take my life, especially as some one self considered to be spiritually superior to me, If he thought he could get away with it and the conditions warranted such a thing. If he had been Abraham, then Isaac would have been killed for sure. He would have said "no biggie" and plunged in the knife with out any hesitation even after the Lord said it was not necessary. I am sure he felt that made him superior to Abraham too. He was a very sick person.
After being subjected to that kind of thing, I was extremely sensitive to the fact that the Book of MORmON (Laban story) and the MORmON temple ceremony really does advocate that kind of approach to handling the matter of dissenters.
A little later into my adult life, as he pressed the issue then I dared to question his beloved MORmON religion, made especially poignant because I had served a mission and he had not. At that point, He really did want to kill me, since he really felt it would be a good thing to do, since I was a dreaded "apostate". He was ONLY hindered by the potential of criminal penalties and the prevalence of the law. or I would have been shot in the back.
then, after so many years in utter frustration of not being able to pound me back into submission to THE (MORmON) church, he tried the sick tactic of trying to goad my into fights, as his plan was to get his own ass kicked by me and then call the law to get me into trouble over it. I could see that coming a mile away.
The last time that I ever spoke to him, he told me that "you need to go in to see the bishop and get excommunicated"
It was totally insulting to me because I know that A. such a thing was FAR WORSE than physical death to him as it was spiritual death in his mind which is like oblivion or worse. B, that he would readily commit suicide to avoid such a thing happening to him in his mortal life, how ever he totally delighted in the thought of me being subjected to such a horrible thing. C. that even if I was redeemed to some very limited extent, which was highly doubtful, I would ALWAYS be tainted and inferior to him the ultra obedient and faithFOOL MORmON.
Ex com was suitable punishment for me which was worse than death in his mind. that is so antithetical to being a male parent /father in every way.
My response was that "my" "need" to be excommed sounded so much like when I was told that "I" "needed" to go on a mission and that time and experience had shown that I really had no such need at all, but that it was really HIS NEED that had been expressed about me going on a mission and the same thing applied to HIS need being expressed by him as "my need" for me to be ex commed.
At that point he went into a shit fit rage.
Other stuff was said. He said he wanted to kill me, and that he hoped the law would kill me. I told him that there was no way that I could respect the pieces of garbage that run his church after the BS antics they pull.
My mother says he did not mean what he said. I say he really did mean it. and I know that I damn sure DID mean everything that I said. I hope it cut through him like a knife.
I never spoke to the POS again, which was a great move on my part. I could not trust him. I could not respect him in anyway. I could no longer consider him to be family at all, in spite of all of the stupid sealing secret MORmON handshakes that had been done.
after that, we were no longer family in my mind!!!! and is not that exactly what the MORmON church tells a person when their ordinances are cancelled as they are excommed??? that person is a lost soul in eternity at that point!!!
3 years and 3 months went by and he suddenly died. It was the nicest thing he ever did for me. Life is so much better without that POS!!!
For a joke, to point out how STUPID that the situation really was, every once in a while I sternly say to either of my cats "you need to go in and get excommunicated !!!"
my cats are like "does that mean its time for a kitty treat?"
my male parent was such a disgusting MORmON @$$ hole !!!!