Posted by:
sb
(
)
Date: January 04, 2019 09:59AM
The temple ceremony was revealed word by word because of its importance. This ceremony is essential to salvation and cannot be changed...except when we change it all the times.
We do not get involved in politics, except on those instances when we do
God has revealed the fullness of the gospel, a restoration of the original church...except when it looks bad and we need to change it.
The Prophets cannot lead the church astray, unless we realize later that what he said sounds nuts, then he was retroactively speaking as a mere man
Polygamy is both a requirement to enter heaven and a practice worthy of excommunication. It was restored to never be removed from the earth, unless we lose money.
Blacks were cursed and simultaneously never cursed, so we needed a revelation to grant them the priesthood while it was never the will of god
Woman are to obey their husbands unless kate kelly makes a fuss
Gender was assigned before we came to this earth, unless those teachings makes us look bad in which case we don't know why people are gay, we only know that we love them,,,wait or should we ban their kids?
The church's official name is...oh wait the RLDS copyrighted that name, ok we are mormons, nope, god does not want us to be Mormons, oh wait he does, oh wait he doesn't.
BREAKING: The lamanites are jewish, oh you discovered DNA science, then they were not
The BOM is a historical record, unless you find evidence it could not be, then it is an inspired book, not a historical record
The POGP was translated from papyrus...unless. wait we deciphered ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs? uuuh.. well it is not a translation, dummies. but we will still play the Anton whatshisname card to the kids, its an all-time favorite.
The lord wants us to meet day and night on the sabbath. The lord has realized that is really expensive and time consuming, so he has told us 3 hours, oh wait that is really long so he is amending it to two.
"The prophets being called of god" thing turned out to be a mess with BY, so we will just set up a corporation and the longest serving will be the next president, cuz god would remove any incapable man from leading his church, unless they end up a vegetable...oh wait the we are not doing it be revelation...
See, the church is unchanging, this proves we are the original, restored church of God.