Date: January 10, 2019 03:36PM
Haven't posted much lately. My mother caught a virus in skilled care from two of her aid workers. She's been really down and just lately felt well enough to eat some solid foods.
Mom's illness scared me. I thought I might lose her as that is how her sister died; pneumonia following a bout of flu.
My real fear is the confrontation with family when Mom does finally end her life journey. I'm afraid I've made Mom the center of my life lately and when she leaves me I'll be very bereft. But worse than losing her will be having to deal with the "righteous" in my family. They haven't visited Mom for over a year and are always snarky with me whenever I see them. My sister is enjoying her status as a victim these days. She tells people she cannot visit her mother because it would be a HIPPA violation. Nobody can quite figure out her reasoning on that but she has her followers believing it. Of course, it's Mom's fault somehow.
I've come to the conclusion that when Mom goes I'll send someone else to tell them. I just can't face bursting into tears when they pretend grieve (they all cannot wait to get an inheritance) and then turn on me which I know they will do. My negativism has reached the point that I'd like to see Mom live another decade and spend all her money on skilled care rather than leave so much as a dime to this family. But I don't want Mom in agony trying to prolong her life needlessly.
Just emoting. Thanks for listening.