I am trying to find my new life and wondered if most here after leaving TSCC joined another church, and if so, which one, and did that work out?

Thanks for helping.

Nope.

I've decided that religion is not for me. Religion, specifically Mormonism, made me judgmental and closed-minded.

It has been so liberating to let go of it all! It turns out I don't need men, claiming to speak for god, telling me how to live my life. I can love and accept and serve others wholeheartedly without religion. I can live a full life without religious guilt controlling all of my decisions.

Religion is all about control, power and $$$. I believe that's how it started back in the Bible times and I believe that's the ultimate goal of almost every religion.

Religion is at the root of almost every social problem in the world. I believe it does far more harm than good.

But to each their own! Just don't let someone else tell you how to be a good person. You already know how to do that. Enjoy life and free yourself of religion-based guilt.

No. Books are my religion. Nature is also a great spiritual outlet.


If I did need a church for some kind of social support, I might try Unitarian Universalist groups but so far I just don't have the need or interest.


Anything based on "faith" has no more justification than Mormons to make stuff up and justify it with "God said so" bias.

No religion or religious preacher/clergy/priest/etc. knows any more about a God than you. If they pretend they do, they are frauds.


Try to determine exactly what you are looking for. Is it ritual you need? Is it a supporting community? Is it something that celebrates awe of the universe and rites of passage you seek? Are you really looking for a sky figure - eternal life to make you feel like someone is driving the universe bus? Be aware that you get to make up any god you want just like everyone else. They kind of god you "believe" in is a reflection of the values you already have.


The few positive things religion might offer are in abundance from other sources- free and without the middlemen and layers of BS. Service, nature, education, causes for good, etc. do not need religion.


Happy quest!

I have joined a Christian Church. It has worked out well. Most Christian churches only require you to do what you want to do without any pressure. I go to Church once a week and throw a few bucks at them. I could become more active if I wanted to, but I don't feel called to do that right now. The community is happy to welcome me just as I am and appreciate having me just show up. The Mormons will pressure you into giving them everything they can get, and it still won't be enough.

Thank you Chica and Dagney:

Chica:

"I don't need men, claiming to speak for god"
Yes! Love it!!!

Dagney:

I am mostly looking for a way to make friends, when I move to a new area. That was what I thought I would get in TSCC, a social community. But didn't. Wondered if other churches were better.

Thanks everyone for helping!

Have you ever looked at meetup dot com? There are groups for every kind of interest/hobby/skill. Maybe give that a try?

Good luck!

Thank you Chica. Will try meetup

Justin,

Thanks for sharing your experience.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/22/2019 12:47PM by mel.

No. Some people give up on religion because of their bad experiences with mormonism, but I had given up on all religion even before I knew many of the doctrinal and historical issues with mormonism.

One of my problems with being a Mormon was that I'm not a joiner. I don't even join clubs.

Besides, if I knew what I believed, what was the purpose of meeting regularly to be told what I believe?

But the bigger issue is that shortly extracting myself from the Mormon indoctrination machine I realized I was an atheist and probably had been most of my life.

No.

I was devoutly Catholic before I joined and decided that my Catholic testimony never left me despite all the things that sucked me in. I am now back to being happily Catholic with coffee and wine as major perks. I am at peace. I hope others find that peace whatever they choose.

Happy to hear, Catholic rebel!

Like a lot of people here, once I started looking at other churches with some perspective, from a distance, they all looked the same--lots just looked like "Mormon Lite." I even studied Buddhism with some friends and learned to chant. They are all still devout. I saw similarities to Mormonism and other Christian religions even though most people see Eastern religion as completely different.

In the end I decided I knew how to be good person all on my own. Reciprocity isn't rocket science. Personal accomplishment accelerates growth and having your ass in a pew once a week, well, I'm not even sure what that does for a person.

Also I left at a time when being gay pretty much left you on the outs anywhere, not just Mormonism, so, I was more interested in being part of the resistance.

Its hard for many ex-mo's to trust religion ever again after they've discovered the level of the betrayal.

I'd recommend one of the more liberal mainstream christian churches such as the Methodists, Lutheran (ELCA) or Episcopalians. They are much more gentle and pretty progressive, choosing to focus more on loving one another and service to others.

I sometimes go to the local Episcopal parish in my town. It actually feels like going to church rather than a weekly sales meeting where everyone is trying to convince themselves that their product is really the best one out there.

Good luck!

Bamboozled Wrote:

> I sometimes go to the local Episcopal parish in my
> town. It actually feels like going to church
> rather than a weekly sales meeting where everyone
> is trying to convince themselves that their
> product is really the best one out there.



Hahah! Thanks Bamboozled!!!

Caffiend,

Quote: "Each one of us will die. We can't ALL be right--somebody's right, somebody's wrong..."

Yes! Exactly!

Two objects cannot occupy the same place at the same time. Applied to logic, two contradictory ideas cannot both be right. Attempting to do so creates cognitive dissonance.

After leaving Christian Science, I abandoned all religion and interest in spirituality. It was AA and the general idea of a "Higher Power" that exposed me to the Divine. That was the 1970s, and there was a lot of "alternate spirituality" going around, everything from Scientology to the occult to street Jesus freaks.

A "Higher Power" sense of Deity se,emed appealing, in that it was democratic, low-pressure, and comfortably individual. But I wondered: we're talking eternity here, who's "Higher Power" is right? You have a right to believe in Krishna, he has a right to believe in Allah, somebody else believes in Jesus, and still another adheres to some kind of cosmic consciousness. Each one of us will die. We can't ALL be right--somebody's right, somebody's wrong, what then? Some people say, "everybody's right in their own way," which is Universalism. Does that mean Mao Zedong and Jim Jones eventually find their way to "the Right?"

I kept reading and visiting different groups (including LDS), and finally came to the conclusion that the New Testament records are credible enough to define my faith. I also read the likes of CS Lewis ("Mere Christianity") and Josh MacDowell's "Evidence That Demands a Veridict." Walter Martin's "Kingdom of the Cults"----a very good read showed how cults, false prophets, prosperity preachers, and false religions distort Christianity.

Out of curiosity for the "senior statesman" of 20th century preachers, I attended a Billy Graham crusade. Much to my surprise--really--I found myself answering the altar call.

I've followed Christ since then.

After studying my way out of Mormonism, I also studied my way out of Christianity. I am now happily Pagan for the last 28 years.

Heidi GWOTR Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> After studying my way out of Mormonism, I also
> studied my way out of Christianity. I am now
> happily Pagan for the last 28 years.

So you did find another religion after Mormonism, Heidi?

Which is good that Mormonism didn't sour you against all religions.

I left TSCC in my mid 20s. And remained churchless until I recently joined a Pentecostal style church.

Which surprised me, to be honest.

Yes. I am Pagan. (Capital P). I follow some of the old Gods of Northern Europe. I do not believe in an omnipotent or omniscient god. I believe that the Gods that help us are simply more spiritually evolved entities than us. They are not omnipotent nor omniscient so cannot always help. But, they do when they can.

Most gods (other than the biblical one) were neither omniscient, nor omnipotent. For instance, they couldn't cure world hunger/poverty if they tried. Unlike the biblical god who says he's omnipotent and omniscient, but hunger and poverty are still with us. So, is he lying or merely callous?

So, in case the question is still there... no, I am not Christian. I am Pagan, with a capital "P". (Google Neo-Pagan for a more thorough explanation.) But, I am happy to answer any questions.

Yup!!! :)

Can't imagine why you rejected JS's new gods for those old Germanic ones. The new gods let you become one of them! Besides, the new gods were cosmic, not Earth-bound, and never die (so we're told). The old ones could actually, eventually, die themselves.

To each his/hers/its/their own. "If it's true for you, then it's your truth." Who am I to say you're wrong?

Germanic and Celtic (Since there was a lot of mixing of the two back in the day.)

It gives me comfort, a little bit of serenity, and I don't have to give 10% of my income and all my time, talents and resources to some corporation.

But, yes, we all have to find our own path and our own Truth. Mine is just one available.

That's different, Heidi. I will google that for better clarity.

Thank you for sharing.

i may have joined the church of the latter day dudes, but i am not certain.

laughing in provo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> i may have joined the church of the latter day
> dudes, but i am not certain.

Ha ha ha!!! Dude!

I've been to a lot of different churches, and didn't join any of them. Which led to the self-discovery that I neither am a "joiner," in my post-Mormon life.

Since learning that I am Jewish through my mother's side of the family though I haven't needed to convert to Judaism to be Jewish. So I attend a Jewish synagogue and am considered fully Jewish. Although even there I haven't "joined" the shul as a member. There's a disconnect with me after having been a Mormon to want to jump into another religion.

Although I did have my children baptized as RLDS several years after we left Mormonism. There's a caveat there though. I did that because it was an important milestone I wanted to be a part of in my children's lives, and secondly because the RLDS is a religion that is pacifist and allows its members to be conscientious objectors for the draft. That was for my children though, not for me.

Yes, but I don't take it much more seriously than I take coJCOLDS.

An interesting stat from a survey of ex-mormons done by Jana Reiss is that ex-mormons in Utah are much less likely to join a Christian Church than ex-mormons outside of Utah.

I like the Catholics, they leave you alone and do not police anyone's life.
You can overlook the craziness from centuries ago and simply worship God at Mass.

I've also heard good things about Unitarian Universalist meetings.

Some Methodist congregations seem to be quite friendly too.

RUN away from "churches" that pry into your private life or demand time and money.

No. @$$# no! Last thing I need in my life is someone preaching to me about how to live mine....with their hand out asking for money!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/22/2019 06:13PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

Lethbridge Reprobate Wrote:

>....with their hand out asking for money!

Exactly!!!

Mel, you wrote: "I am trying to find my new life..."

Self-discovery is an exciting adventure, isn't it! You are lucky to be free to design a life of your own! Congratulations on escaping a cult!

Being cult-free made me giddy, and I explored a lot of other religions, thinking that I needed to replace Mormonism in my life--after all, I had been a dedicated life-long BIC temple-married Mormon. I also flushed my mind of all that brainwashing, by filling my brain with new information. I read books and articles about natural science, astronomy, physics (a lot of it I didn't understand), great literature that I had missed reading, tons of poetry, and took some philosophy classes at the university. I had a theory that old information (Mormon lies) and memorized junk can be quickly and efficiently "extinguished" through learning.

I also went into therapy, for my PTSD, because I had been physically (and mentally) abused.

In the process of "finding my new life", I became very, very happy! I ended up staying right here. This is me!

I love what Dagny said, "Books are my religion." It's the same with me! I can touch minds with qualified experts (not self-anointed cult "authorities), with great thinkers, with real people. I can gain insight from real experiences (not fake testimonies) from real people, in the real world. I can laugh, be entertained, get in touch with my human emotions. No one judges me or invades my privacy, and if an author seems ridiculous or self-serving, I just stop reading, and move onto something else.

You are lucky to have found RFM! WE are lucky to have you! I enjoy your posts and threads Mel. RFM will give you a lot of useful information, and great support!

For myself, I would say that "Live is my new religion." Nature plays a huge role in that. I see the face of God in all that He has created. I still don't know if God is at all human-like, or if He/She is just energy that flows all around us and inside of us. There are as many concepts of God as there are people; we each have our own idea about that. IMO, it doesn't matter! I'm one of those people who can live with ambiguity--it's far better than living with LIES!

My children and I were so horribly abused in the Mormon cult, that I am too phobic to ever actually "join" another church. We attended the Lutheran church for a while, and the children consider themselves to be Lutheran. We were all raised on The Bible (not the BOM), so we still believe in the Christian principles--more so than most Mormons.

I believe that "God is Love"

Christ-of-the-New-Testament had no church or temples, and wasn't after people's money--and I feel that all that is unnecessary. I choose to not belong to any church.

For your search quest, I would recommend the churches Bamboozled recommends.

I liked the Episcopalian church because of the building, the music, and the organ. We're all looking for different things! I liked the larger congregation, so I could slip in and out, anonymously. These churches offer plenty of opportunities to serve in charities, in a group, with some very nice people! You might be more group-oriented.

Like elderolddog, I'm not a joiner. I get PTSD flashbacks if strangers rush up to me and shake my hand and ask me what my name is, and a lot of other questions.

I agree that joining a church is not necessary, at all. I have always volunteered at the children's schools, and that was more worthwhile, more enjoyable, more uplifting than church stuff. We actually achieved results! Loving, involved parents and teachers are the nicest people one could ever know. They are REAL volunteers, not forced slaves. More personality and creativity and autonomy was involved. It was not just following someone's orders, who had a great disparity in age and income and interest, like 80-year-old rich white men in SLC who didn't know the school or the people, at all, and care only about money

Obviously, you need to decide for YOURSELF what matters. I promise you that you can find everything you desire, outside of any religious organization or church.

Good luck, and ENJOY your journey!

exminion Wrote:

> I also flushed my mind of all that brainwashing, by filling my >brain with new information.

Thank you so much for your thoughts, Ex. I keep and print these threads and will be re-reading yours over and over.

I feel that too, the more new stuff, books or experiences, that I can cram into my brain, the quicker TSCC will be flushed out.

Thank you again for so much insight!

When in Seattle, I attend with Mennonites, haven't joined.

Being a Christian has little if anything to do with joining a particular church. Unlike Mormonism being baptized is not the joining process with most Christian denominations. My advice is to find a congregation that suits your needs and attend. Joining, officially being placed on rolls and such, will take place, or not, as your time away from Mormonism evolves.

After leaving the Mormon church, I tried returning to the Presbyterian church that I grew up with. I found a pleasantly liberal little community church that I liked. The young minister was very bright, gave well-thought-out sermons, and they occasionally sang a hymn that I remembered from childhood. I even attended some of the activities.

But eventually, they quit having an 11:00 service, stopping with the 9:30 one. That is simply too early for me. From Kindergarten until retirement, I had to wake up to an alarm clock that was essentially set by somebody else. I always hated it.

Seems like a petty reason for quitting church, but there it is. If they reinstated the 11:00 service, I would be there. I don't really have much in the way of religious leanings, but I like the feeling of community.

catnip Wrote:

> I don't really have much in the way of religious leanings, but >I like the feeling of community.

Yes, that is me too. I never got into the reading and studying, did just enough to pretend and get by, I was there for the people but the people were toxic.

I am with you too, getting up for early services on the weekend, forget it! That's my day to sleep it!!!

Thanks for sharing!

Hell no!

I'll state what my nephew said when his wife (who wasn't raised in religion) stated that she wanted to take their kids to a church. He told her to "go ahead, but I've served my sentence."

I have never had any desire whatsoever to even attend any religion at all. I have my own beliefs, but my beliefs have always been MY OWN. I always knew I believed different than most mormons, if not all. I think beliefs are a very, very personal thing. My beliefs are always changing.

I remember driving by a church in Colorado when I was living there for a short time and it had the times they had services. The first thing that popped in my head was, "Why would anyone want to go to church?"

When I dropped out of the Really True Church, I started worshiping a variety of old and new gods - Thor, Odin, Loki, Ironman, the Hulk, and now especially Star Lord.

See all the 'no' answers above?

After having "We are the only true church, all others are wrong" beat into you for decades, how can you join another?

Once you abandon the "only true church", you have nothing left. You already subconsciously rejected all the others before you left.

You have nothing left but atheism... and that's why most of the people that leave turn atheist.

I am finding this discussion extremely helpful to me as I think about the lessons I have learned from being in the church, and how I want to shape my life and whether, and which beliefs and organizations I might want to share my life with in the future.

Thank you, Snickers, for your input and analysis, it is appreciated.

I really enjoy all the responses, even the STFU, always makes me laugh when someone swears at an opportune time. No offense to Simon. Yes, I have not been interested, really, in joining another church, have thought about starting my own just for fun, but likely won't ever do that either. I am just so enjoying not going to church right now. That could change, but I don't think it will. I just really, really, really like not going to church.
I like going to the movies.

Robin,

I am with you--tonight is Wednesday night and instead of doing my calling I am staying home and doing whatever I want or don't want to do after work!

I'm with you on the movies!

Fossilman,

Thanks for the new name, The Really True Church, and I am going to think of it that way forever now only with a Southern Accent:

The Rally, Rally True Church.

Ha!

You're welcome, mel. I didn't grow up in the south, but have been in Alabama for nearly 28 years - I can manage a southern accent when needed.

Good luck in finding whatever works for you.

UU, but not so much because it's religion. It's not. But it's good coffee, history lessons, River Keepers, wine, beer, country, folk, and jazz concerts, and a lot of smart people. What's not to like?

cludgie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> UU, but not so much because it's religion. It's
> not. But it's good coffee, history lessons, River
> Keepers, wine, beer, country, folk, and jazz
> concerts, and a lot of smart people. What's not to
> like?

Yes!!!

National geographic special magazine at the airport the other day.

The entire magazine is about the beginnings of Christianity. Really interesting.

After reading it, I don't think i'll ever belong to a church again. Their beginnings are so overrun with speculation, lies, and fairy tales. I think i'll find my own way. I suppose if God thinks its that important, he'll show up.

I feel like just maybe I can be OK even though the cult took many years of my life and a good amount of$$$$$$$$.

This discussion really helped. Especially the one that stated

I really really really like not going to church

Thanks everyone!!!!!

Darla Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I feel like just maybe I can be OK even though the
> cult took many years of my life and a good amount
> of$$$$$$$$.
>
> This discussion really helped.

Darla,

Good for you! Remember the saying, the only thing worse than wasting a year on something, is wasting a year and a DAY!

Good luck, glad this discussion helped bring some clarity!!!

Hang in there!!!

Mel

Religion is like an addiction. Once hooked it is hard to suppress the urge. I recommend going "cold turkey"(atheist).

I don't recommend joining any team or group or society until and unless you are ALL IN. Until you have "investigated" them for like a hundred years (theirs, not yours)! And demand THE TRUTH when dealing with FoJ (Followers of JoeSmith).

I slipped out of being loosely affiliated with LDShood, through familial association, after a few decades of a missing-from-mormonism mission/ inactivity/ active in LIFE, and resigned, about 6 years ago, and am generally vocal when TMC, or a follower, or mislead wanna-be 'saint', needs correcting.

I did though: Methodism (I like Methodist's Methods [not meth-math-odd?], though I prefer my own [Madness] (Happiness). [Just as I wrote 'method', Fiona Apple sang that exact word, in a song, on KRCL dot org (90.9 fm SLC) Yea!]), mostly to "WASH OFF Mormonism", symbolically anyway.

It feels so much better.
BESIDES Resigning!
I AM NOT a Mormon.
A formon maybe.
But NOT LDS!
RELIEF-

As an artist, and creative, in general, I recommend... NATURE, art/ other artists, groups, volunteering, with and without others, learning/ study/ crafts-hobbies, and 'hanging out' (with other kind people?), visiting churches and community associations-BUILDERS, where you feel comfortable. Wanted, appreciated, accepted and honored. Happy

Wishing you the best Mel-

M@t

moremany Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
...where you feel comfortable. Wanted, appreciated, accepted and
honored. Happy

Thank you, M@t!


The words you say are strong and true and good to remember. I am coming to --- where many people are----I'm not a joiner, more of an introvert, got sucked into joining, bullied, judged...

Now getting happy, free. and only want to be where I am as you say:
Comfortable, wanted, appreciated, accepted and honored.

THANK YOU ALL FOR HELPING ME!!!

Mel

Sure Mel.

It's great to have you here.
I do appreciate your company.

It would be nice if none on us was here, but, HERE WE ARE! :)

I couldn't help it.
It didn't need any.

Cheers-

Yes. But it isnt like your neighborhood church.

I created my own hangout church. I'm free to entertain many activities filled with loud laughter to boot. I read what I want and scriptures is not on the shelves. I tead those too many times. What a bore.

I like your church Phazer.

It's built, and flows, much like yours! I attend what, where, when, if and WHY I like-love.

No

No, but I sometimes attend religious services of different organizations when it feel inclined to.

Right now I am in the North of the Netherlands, in a small town (Westerbork). There is a cute little Reformed church here. I went to their service last Sunday, and it was good to practice Dutch, and see people.

I even took their communion: bread and grape juice. :)

I will go again tomorrow. I like the bells ringing just before the service, the organ music, the coffee at the end. People were quite friendly.

The service in this Reformed church is very similar to a Catholic mass. It is interesting.