While I was still involved with the church I hit hard times BIG time. I had left my abusive husband and at the time he was refusing to pay child support and cooperate with the divorce. My abusive marriage is one of the most painful things I ever endured. He is a narcissist by every textbook definition there is and until this day is still trying to abuse me from afar. It’s just my therapy has helped me beyond his attempts to get me back. I have PTSD from it all. I was at the point of sacrificing meals for myself to feed my children. I have my parents but my Dad has retired and I didn’t want to burden them too much. I felt like I got myself in this mess, might as well dig myself out. The church helped put food on my table for two months amd I still decided to not come back to the church once I left. Can you believe that Mormon guilt is still lingering?! I feel like they helped me so much and all I did was take their food and leave. It’s a struggle.
You owe it to yourself to take care of yourself and your children first and foremost. You owe the church nothing. If you can free yourself from it to break away it's a gift to you and your family.
Consider the two months of help as a blessing, but as for sacrificing yourself over that no way. It's not worth it.
They'll want your kids next. After they suck you dry.
"The church helped put food on my table for two months and I still decided to not come back to the church once I left. Can you believe that Mormon guilt is still lingering?! I feel like they helped me so much and all I did was take their food and leave. It’s a struggle."
First of all, the majority of churches and charitable organizations give out food and financial assistance without strings attached. They simply help. You should not have guilt feelings for receiving assistance,especially when children are involved. You did the right thing. The Mormon corporation rarely helps and when it does, it is frequently conditional such as paying it back or working at the church to pay it off. This is a multi-billion dollar corporation.
Just relax about the assistance and take care of yourself and your family. Again, there should be no feeling of guilt on your part. There are many ex-Mormons here. Think of that assistance as money we paid to that organization that went to you - a worthy cause.
A friend of mine was left high and dry in a strange city by her boyfriend. She had no money and three small kids. Catholic Community Services put them up in a hotel and and paid their fare home. They were not members ane didn't become members. My brother lost his job and got food from a Lutheran food pantry.He wasnt Lutheran and isn't now. Bottom line, be grateful for the help, but you don't owe them membership.This is what churches should do.
They are supposedly a church and a charitable organization. The tax breaks they receive compared to the charitable giving they do is SO negligible compared to other organizations. Seeing churches now, in my everyday life, who do REAL charity work, it disgusts me even more how the mormons take take take and then make you feel guilty for receiving.
The one time I went to the church for help because I was desperate (and I'm never desperate for myself, it's when kids were involved), I couldn't be helped because it didn't matter how much money, and TIME, I had given them through the years. All that mattered was that I wasn't currently taking more food out of my children's mouths and giving the money to them. I never gave another dime even though I was semi-active for 7 years after that.
We all understand mormon guilt and it takes a lifetime to let go of it. I am still struggling with that. I have arguments with my friends on what's worse, mormon guilt or Catholic guilt. They have no idea. But look at it in the context of you were helping them maintain the facade of being a charitable organization (thus receiving billions in tax breaks). You did them a favor.
Heck, when I was a TBM and a struggling single mom, it wasn't the Mormons who helped put food on our table. It was our local Catholics. Some kindly neighbors and a landlady gave our names to the Catholic church and they helped us out during the holidays.
Not one year, but two. With no strings attached. I wasn't Catholic. It didn't matter. They just wanted to help a single mother and her children.
That was an act of Christian love IMO. And that is how you need to view IMO any offering by TSCC.
As a returned Catholic I am very happy to hear that. The Church will and always has helped those in need with no membership required. Many women in my Emmaus prayer group cooked for me when I gave birth to my son. I returned the favor when another Emmaus sister had a baby aa well. By this time I had already come back to the Catholic Church but the Church has helped many non-Catholics in need with absolutely no strings attached. I’m glad to be “home” again.
I school I used to work with hosted a community food bank. The food bank would give out several boxes or bags of food to anyone who showed up, (usually) no questions asked. One time I did see the volunteers ask for names and the number of people in the household so that the food bank could report the number of people it served. Food was always given freely with no expectation of repayment. It was a genuine help to the neighborhood.
Most food was donated by supermarkets or manufacturers. It was food that was excess, or close to/just beyond the expiraton date. Some frozen meats and soups came from the state food bank. And a portion was donated by the community. The community donations were very helpful since they gave more variety to the offerings.
Please don't feel that you owe the Mormon church anything. The church *should* be doing charity as a Christian church. The charity should be given with no expectation of return.
Feel free to use community food banks if you continue to need help feeding yourself and your children. This is what food banks are for. Google "[name of your community] food bank".
And perhaps one day when you are doing better, donate food or money to your local community food bank in return.
If I ever need help again, rest assured I will go to my Catholic parish for help this time around. At the time I was being sucked back in after leaving but decided after much discernment to absolutely return and remain Catholic. That probably pissed them off or ar least made me the subject of much discussion. I’m pretty sure I’m on the Temple prayer rolls.
Giving you food for you and the kids should have been done out of love and compassion and those two things require no repayment as repayement or owing would cancel out the love and compassion and make it a loan. Screw em if they feel that way. You shouldn't.
When you are able, do something kind for some one else, and then say to yourself in temple-speak, "I do this for and in behalf of the Mormon church who is dead--to me." The Mormons are the ones who need to have their sins forgiven, not you.
Hope everything is starting to look rosy for you. I have a niece going through exactly what you just described. It is heartbreaking to watch. My heart goes out to you and I admire your strength. I have an inkling at least of how horrific it is.