Now that I have left I will never see any of the cult people again. No friends, no relatives in there.

I am still dismayed I was so gullible, so easily sucked in by these nicely-dressed people, so quickly convinced to give time and money, to waste a year trying to make friends of them (to no avail). To have been devalued for being a convert, and a single woman.

I am happy and strong and will have a good life without them but I ask--is that enough? Never to "show them" never to say, you stink and your cult stinks to their face?

When we left, we resolved to become more vibrant, colorful, more dynamic and more content than any typical family in the cult.

Petty, perhaps. But it gave us a new mission.

Our lives and environments, habits and self-improvements have given us a real appreciation for time served.

Living well is the best revenge. It will also restore dignity, sanity, privacy and extra time, ideas and much better friends.

Loving people and life is the only satisfying lifestyle.

It comes as you learn about other truly great individuals.

Just Google any Top 50 or Top 100 List of Entrepreneurs, Those who rise fastest and go furthest leave behind them a wake that improves the human race.

[Edited by moderator to remove unrelated link.]



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/01/2019 03:28PM by Tevai.

Mormon Nomore Wrote:
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> Living well is the best revenge. It will also restore dignity, sanity, privacy and extra time, ideas and much better friends.

Yes, thank you for reminding me, especially privacy--to make my own choices, to wear what I like, to go to movies when I feel like it. And you are right about better friends, couldn't have been worse than anyone I met in there.

Thank you, No More!

There are times it gets under your skin like my daughter's wedding Saturday, but I really liked what Done & Done said on my thread about my aunt. He is SO CORRECT.

Mormons have to get on fb and brag about their lives. I don't. I just live it. I post sometimes, but there is so much more I could post about, especially negative things about mormonism, but I don't. They try too hard to convince themselves.

Many of my mormon friends from the past are envious of my life.

Most of the time I don't think about it. I just go about living my life and then a mormon will do something to remind me how good my life is compared to their's.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/31/2019 07:09PM by cl2.

cl2 Wrote:
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> There are times it gets under your skin like my daughter's wedding Saturday...

Yes, but you came through just fine, so that's all good now. :)

>I don't. I just live it.

Yes. I think I will get there with the Time, Space, and Distance which has been so helpfully mentioned on this board.

Thank you, CL! So glad you are here. :) :) :)

Live Well, while You plot your revenge.

Soon you will realize That just plotting is Enough.

For now, don’t do anything petty. You aren’t a Mormon anymore, and your standards of behavior are higher than theirs. For
Now, accept That your anger is normal and justified.

The posters above had bad experiences, like I did—and we all found such happiness,so much love,so many truly good people outside of Mormonism, that all the bad Mormon garbage eventually faded away. By the time I was in a position to “stick it to the Mormons” I didn’t want to go Back down that rabbit hole. Our (mine and my children’s) success has NOTHING to do with the Mormons, and I want to keep it that way!

Don’t let the Mormons determine anything You do. Seeking revenge or justification or compensation would be Mormon-driven. Above all, You want to be free.

In time, when you have moved on, you will agree.

Honestly, I think most Mormons are so blind and delusional, they wouldn’t understand any lesson you could teach them. For example, no matter how happy and full of love you are, the Mormons would just sneer at you and threaten you: “things seem great Now, on the surface—but wait until the next life!” Either that, or they think you are faking your success. The Mormons HAVE to win; otherwise their church might not be true.

I handled my immediate anger by posting on RFM. I wrote scathing letters to my abusers, but never mailed them, because I wanted
Nothing to do with them. I set and kept my own boundaries that no one else Had to know about.

I hear you! I’m a single divorced female. It’s been almost 13 years since I left, and I will never see those rude people ever again—and I still live in their neighborhood!

It helped me to think that I was and still am lucky to be shunned (better than to be harassed and abused, like before), and I get “satisfaction” when I think of the Mormons turning on themselves, criticizing, slandering, judging each other. And making constnt demands on each other.

Mormonism is a depressing society! Forget about them. Focus on your new life! You deserve joy!

Exminion Wrote:
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> Live Well, while You plot your revenge. Soon you will realize That just plotting is Enough.

I like the way you think, Ex!

> For now, don’t do anything petty.

Oh, you're right. I just need to learn from this and move on. Time, Space, and Distance...

>..so many truly good people outside of Mormonism

YES! Like the great people here on the Board who I have deeper and more meaningful conversations with than anyone I met in TSCC.

> Above all, You want to be free.

Yes, I am getting there. Feeling better every day I am still out.

>...no matter how happy and full of love you are, the Mormons would just sneer at you and threaten you: “things seem
> great Now, on the surface—but wait until the next life!”

Yes, they were full of doom, how things were quickly going to end, only they would be left standing.

> I wanted Nothing to do with them.

Yes. I think sometimes of some of the things I would like to say but that would open a conversation and like you I want the door firmly closed to all contact. Barred and locked. As long as I keep them out they cannot hurt me anymore! Judge me nor sneer at me nor devalue me!!!

> I hear you! I’m a single divorced female. It’s been almost 13 years since I left, and I will never see those rude people ever again—and I still live in their neighborhood!

Wow! 13 years! Good to know you successfully avoided them! I could plan all shopping for Sundays which should be safe.

> Mormonism is a depressing society! Forget about
> them. Focus on your new life! You deserve joy!

Thank you so much, ex. So glad to have found you and all the other great people on this board!!!

I am sorry that you were deceived and believed their lofty promises. If you only lost a year, then you are one of the luckier ones here. I hope you can find friends that you have lots in common... I have a very good work environment and enjoy talking with others at break time. I don't miss the hamster wheel that the LDS church is.

chipace Wrote:
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> If you only lost a year, then you are one of the luckier ones here.

Yes indeed. Some of the stories here have opened my eyes and helped me see that!

Thanks, Chip!

I agree: living well is the best revenge.

It's natural and appropriate to be angry you were conned. Be angry! Then let it go.

Feel sorry for the people who are still stuck.

Eric3 Wrote:
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> Feel sorry for the people who are still stuck.

Yes. The Mishies knocked on my door tonight (I didn't answer) and left me an invite and a plate of cookies. I felt sorry for the Mishies having to run errands on a Saturday night, sorry for the wife who had to make the plates of cookies, and sorry for whoever had to write and produce and cut-out the picture of Jesus with the invitation to the scripture class at their house.

All that time and effort, and all the money sent to SLC, and none of it stays locally.

“Never to "show them" never to say, you stink and your cult stinks to their face?”

Why? Their religion is punishment enough.

You should be happy to have escaped. Humans aren’t exactly rational beings, as much as we like to think we are. If Mormonism is a boat, you’re on Davy Jones’ crew growing tentacles and stuff.

In that religion, you’re never enough. What a filthy lie. The church is a racket designed to separate you from your money. If it weren’t so, they wouldn’t be micromanaging the wards as well as milking them dry. It’s also a filter that collects people who buy into that kind of insanity. Following the crowd will lead you into a ditch.

You were always enough.

babyloncansuckit Wrote:

> Humans aren’t exactly rational beings, as much as we
> like to think we are.

Thank you, Babylon. I thought I was rational then TSCC sucked me and all rational thought was gone, poof! I still can't believe I was sucked in so easily!

If Mormonism is a boat, you’re on Davy Jones’ crew growing tentacles and stuff.

Hahahahah!!!!!

> The church is a racket designed to
> separate you from your money.

Yes, just like Shakespeare: a man may smile and smile, and yet be a villain.

> micromanaging the wards...milking them dry.

Absolutely. The members bear all the cost and burdens of running the church. You would think the leaders would be ashamed.
>
> You were always enough.

thank you Babs! Big hugs and love to you!!!

when I went inactive. My gay husband was cheating on me, etc. Then he left after we went inactive and I still have comments about "when he chose" to be gay. Then my life went to hell when he left. It took time. Oh, and it was and is my fault he is gay.

Some 9 years after he left me, my old nonmormon boyfriend who I had wanted to marry at age 20 came back into my life at age 47. We've been together since. Mormons were sure it wouldn't last. He even lived here with my ex, my son, and I for a while. (I don't live with him because we just don't get along when we live together. we've tried it.) My ex lives downstairs.

Then I got an inheritance when my parents died. It wasn't huge, but helped a lot.

I did lose my medical transcription work after 33 years last fall, but I will be fine considering I can take early SS in July (half my ex's future SS that is and I can get my full SS at age 66 and my ex can, too).

Life has been much smoother since I became one of the unclean (joking), apostate, adulteress (my ex and I aren't divorced legally).

I tend to forget that I guess we are divorced per mormon standards since we have both resigned so our TM is null and void.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/01/2019 03:46PM by cl2.

>>I can take early SS in July (half my ex's future SS that is and I can get my full SS at age 66 and my ex can, too).

Cl2, does it work that way? I always thought that you had to make a choice between taking early SS with a smaller payout, OR full SS at your regular retirement age. Or are you talking about your possible options?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/01/2019 04:30PM by summer.

my younger sister works for the state and they have retirement meetings all the time. I can take out half of what my ex will get at full payout at 66-1/2. Then at 66-1/2 we can both take out full.

She can take half of her ex's and do the same thing.

I think it has something to do with the laws when women didn't work outside the home very often. My mother got half of what my dad got.

I have talked to a few family members who actually are doing this right now.

This will be a BIG HELP in my retirement.

I think it's always been the case that when you are married, you can claim under your spouse's account as opposed to your own, if it would benefit you more. But IIRC you have to choose. My mom put in a claim under my dad's account, even though she spent many years working.

cl2 Wrote:

> I still have comments about "when he chose" to be gay... and my fault he is...

Wow! Gosh! Judgmental much? So glad you're not putting up with that and have found happiness with your new partner!

> Then I got an inheritance...

What? You mean you received 'blessings' without tithing? hahah

>Smoother since I became one of the unclean...

hahaha! So glad you are here, CL, joining all us other apostates!!!

-mel

You are most fortunate to have left after losing a single year.

Sadly, I grew up in the church and wasted 30 years seeking friendship and approval. It was to no avail. Friends were either assigned or extremely superficial.

messygoop Wrote:
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> Sadly, I grew up in the church and wasted 30 years
> seeking friendship and approval.

Wow. I am sorry about your experience (30 years!!! argh) but heartened to hear about it because I never got friendship nor approval and wondered if it was just me, something wrong with me.

> Friends were either assigned or extremely superficial.

I am going to try to excuse them a little bit and think they just didn't have time to be friends with anyone between studying and FHE and some sort of busy-work calling or two, and many children and/or full-time job, and cooking for their family and for church things when they were asked. Poor things. Nothing left but superficiality, methinks.

Not like they ever had time to go to the movies or read some new books (non-lds) to have interesting discussions about...

thanks Messy! I enjoy your anecdotes from those 30 years, immensely, so at least they weren't a total waste, they can amuse and enlighten and occasionally horrify the rest of us.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/03/2019 12:07AM by mel.

Live well so that YOU can have a great life.

You may never get any sense of revenge, and you can never "show" someone something they choose not to see. The only life you control is yours, so be as happy and authentic as you can.

CrispingPin Wrote:
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> Live well so that YOU can have a great life.

Not marrying some old Moron man the Bishop picks for me to get into the CK will be a good start on that road!!!

> ...you can never "show" someone something they choose not
> to see.

True, true. Sad, but true. Thanks for the reminder!

>The only life you control is yours, so be as happy and authentic as you can.

Absolutely. Thanks, Crisp!

Be thankful you don't have family left inside the cult, Mel.

That's been a hard thing for me to deal with is family who's still stuck in TSCC.

They are impenetrable. Holier than thou. Can do no wrong. Look down their noses at the rest of us, because we're apostates to them for having left. They don't know enough to question what it is they believe or why they believe it. They've just accepted blindly because that is how they were taught since childhood.

I think they'd be more afraid of their own shadow than be proven wrong.

Living well has to be enough. What is left if not that?

Amyjo Wrote:
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> Be thankful you don't have family left inside the cult, Mel.

Yes! I am very lucky that I can make a totally clean break and never see or talk to those people ever again.
>
> They are impenetrable. Holier than thou.

Gosh, it must be torture to be around them. And probably gives you a bad dilemma--do you keep in contact with them for the sake of family, or cut it off for your own peace of mind?

> They've just accepted blindly because that is how they were
> taught since childhood.

Yes, and habits...easier to keep doing the same, than to learn, or think, or do, something new and unfamiliary.

> Living well has to be enough. What is left if not that?

You're right. The high road, and all that. Life is good, without them.

Thank you, Amyjo. I have learned SO MUCH and been helped SO MUCH by you and all the wonderful people on the Board!!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/03/2019 12:15AM by mel.

My interactions with them make me sad for them. To be stuck in that way of thinking is such a hard way to be, and for what? So much work to keep God in a little box, all to themselves like Gollum’s “precious”.

TBMs are such a small fraction of the population, yet think the rest of the world is crazy. Yup, that must be why they haven’t joined your whacked out cult.

babyloncansuckit Wrote:
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>So much work to keep God in a little box, all to themselves like Gollum’s “precious”.

Ha! You're right about that analogy! I'm going to remember it! There's only one true church, one entry into the celestial kingdom, and it is by working free and paying money. All the members joined together in mutual misery disguised as joy.

I was born into it. My family wasn't very well accepted because my dad didn't attend and my mother was not very social (she was raised by deaf parents). I was very devout, the most devout of possibly my dad's whole side of the family. My mother's side (except her parents) were and are disgustingly mormon and think they are on the verge of being taken up into heaven for their holiness.

I wanted to make sure I had my family with me for all eternity. I lived in fear of that from a young age because my dad drank coffee and I thought he wasn't going to make it.

I was never very well accepted in mormonism either. I have plenty of stories. I was treated the best in this ward I live in right now when I was with my gay ex. He was cheating on me and nobody knew. He was the ex. sec. The women who are neighbors still fall all over him when he is outside. Anyway, he knew how to play the mormon culture game and so we were treated well. When my daughter went back, she was welcomed back with OPEN ARMS because of us being accepted back when. Now she has established her own spot. I've told her I could never have gone back to the ward I grew up in and been treated well.

As I look back, I wonder why I stayed so long. It was not pleasant.

Somewhere on this board is a list of what qualifies as mormon royalty. There are 3 groups. My active mormon sister laughed so hard when I sent it to her. She said we are "fringe" element and we always have been. We agreed that my ex is still considered mormon royalty, but I'm the fringe element. (P.S. I know I confuse people when I say my ex as I'm still married to him, although we haven't been a couple for over 23 years.)

cl2 Wrote:
>I was treated the best when I was with my gay ex.He kept up appearances, didn't matter it was all a lie.

Yes, this follows with my experience. Only marrieds are really accepted and welcomed.

>... mormon royalty...

Yes, it would have been helpful and saved me a lot of time "trying" had I known right off the bat, those rules and levels for acceptance (as a divorced single convert I was right out!)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/04/2019 11:25AM by mel.

I think indifference is essentially the best pay back.

kentish Wrote:
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> I think indifference is essentially the best pay back.

I agree. Whenever we are still reacting to them by doing the opposite, it means they are still in our heads. I want them out, and their wishes and rules to not matter at all.

Thank you, Kentish!