I was back home recently. My mother said she needed to talk to me. We didn't get a chance to talk face to face as there were family members around.

We spoke after I got home. She said that she had found my resignation letter and the LDS Church's reply. She asked me if I had left officially.

After many years of feeling like I need to explain myself, I just answered, "Yes, I did."

It hasn't come up again.

Did you tell your parents or other relatives that you resigned?

Yes, and with a smile on my face.
:D

Gratefully, I was the only person in my family to join the Church. They were very supportive of me as a Mormon, but even more supportive and happy when I left.

Greyfort Wrote:
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> Gratefully, I was the only person in my family to
> join the Church. They were very supportive of me
> as a Mormon, but even more supportive and happy
> when I left.


Same here. My family was never involved. Thankfully

"Just the facts, Ma'am."

Love it. Makes me happy somehow to hear that.

It was actually my TBM father that encouraged me to resign. At the time my father was the stake patriarch and a sealer in the Nauvoo temple. I'd come out to him as gay, and he asked if I'd been excommunicated because of it. I told him that I hadn't, but that after he and Mom were gone I was going to resign my membership.

He told me it didn't make any sense to be a member of something I didn't believe in and that I should go and resign now if I wanted to. So with his blessing I did.

Dad was very dedicated to "the church," but he was even more dedicated to his family. He continued to be my biggest advocate, and welcomed my husband into the family with all his heart.

bezoar Wrote:
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> It was actually my TBM father that encouraged me
> to resign. At the time my father was the stake
> patriarch and a sealer in the Nauvoo temple. I'd
> come out to him as gay, and he asked if I'd been
> excommunicated because of it. I told him that I
> hadn't, but that after he and Mom were gone I was
> going to resign my membership.
>
> He told me it didn't make any sense to be a member
> of something I didn't believe in and that I should
> go and resign now if I wanted to. So with his
> blessing I did.
>
> Dad was very dedicated to "the church," but he was
> even more dedicated to his family. He continued
> to be my biggest advocate, and welcomed my husband
> into the family with all his heart.

Wow, Bezor, that really is cool. Kudos to your father for putting family first, and encouraging you to live with integrity.

Congratulations bezoar. It's nice to read that some TBM's put their family before the church. My family has been generally supportive of my marriage to my husband, who is Sicilian/Italian with a very dark complexion. He does stand out in all of our family pictures (next to all of us British/German lineage.) I love the irony that I went on my mission to Italy and ended up marrying an Italian.

When we are out in public or if other people come by my parents house, my father introduces us as "his two sons" or "my two boys". We just look at each other and smile. We don't mind or take offense to it. It is what it is.

My family is a don't-ask-don't-tell style. Everyone knows my younger brother left first, then me, but no one announces it or asks.
I believe the opposite of love is apathy, and I have apathy for religion and church service. I want to show how life can be without religion to my parents and family... most people are better off without it.

chipace Wrote:
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> My family is a don't-ask-don't-tell style.

Hilarious! Love it!!

I was the only one who joined, and it was worse telling them I joined a church, than telling them I quit.

My sister said "NOOOOOO!" when I first, full of enthusiasm, told her I'd been attending (I never did have the nerve to tell her about the baptism).

The reaction to my quitting was gladness that I had come to my senses.

I've told them I'm not Mormon any more but nobody has said anything or asked about official resignation. I doubt they know I resigned officially but it doesn't really matter. We are all basically out of the church but I'm the only one who resigned. Except for my sister's children, who were baptized at eight, we were converts and never really cared about official rules of Mormonism. Even my sister's kids are nonbelievers but I doubt they have done official resignations.

The rest of my family knows I've resigned, but then most of my family is out. My nephew just found out from me that he can resign. I need to send him the info. My brother wants me to help him resign, too.

...be careful going forward. Even though you claim to be an ex- member, there will be a few visits by members to actually check out your status. If there is a hint of uncertainty on your part, expect an effort to re-recruit you............

"We spoke after I got home. She said that she had found my resignation letter and the LDS Church's reply."

How did your mom find this?

I framed my letter telling me I was no longer a member and hung it in the living room. It was very easy to see, kind of like those "Proclamation On the Family" things most Mormons have hanging in their homes.

My parents were deceased by the time I got around to resigning. They were inactive before I was. So by the time I went inactive that didn't raise any real red flags with them. I stopped believing in TSCC although mom believed up to her dying breath. Dad believed in parts and rejected parts of Mormonism (he never did get around to explaining what it was he believed and didn't.)

My TBM brothers who remained active clung to TSCC like a security blanket. After our parents divorce they blamed it on our parents not living the gospel 100%. I look back and see how those god awful temple ordinances wreaked havoc in their married lives. My parents were a couple of free spirits who were not really cut out for the regimen of LDS rules and lifestyle.

One good thing that came from our parents going through the temple when they did (I was six at the time,) was they gave up smoking and alcohol. So they weren't intoxicated as often as they were before lol. Dad still imbibed but kept it under wraps I found out later from one of my brothers who found his booze bottles hidden around our farm. Us children had respiratory problems from second hand smoke. So the cessation of cigarette smoking was a gift. After they divorced they picked it back up but by then most of us were out of the house.

Dad was able to quit in the years before he died. Mom couldn't break her bad habit. She gave up trying. That was what kept her from going to church was the shame she felt from smoking. She knew she wouldn't be accepted at her ward so she didn't bother going. The smell from the tobacco would be on her clothes and people would know right away she was a "sinner." It was more like she was addicted and the Mormons show no mercy.

Nope.

She said she found out by looking at LDSite (and I wasn't there) AND by the ward counter dude/ her friend told her, alternatively. BUT it couldn't be both ways. Mormonism- causing people to lie from the beginning... to the end.

No one ever asks why.
They don't want to know.

It scares them.
LDScares them!