The way TSCC chases after ex-members reminds me of the old dating advice of "Playing Hard to Get."

When I was going every Sunday, and doing a calling, and being all dress-wearing obedient paying and praying, nobody was interested in me. But once I stopped, texts and calls and missionaries at the door happened....too bad they didn't put some of that effort into keeping me instead of waiting till I left.

It just seems another illustration of how toxic the whole cult is.

Totally.

They don't know what they've got until it's gone.

How can one be useful to a useless (dis)organization?

That's what they want to know.

moremany Wrote:

> useless (dis)organization....
Exactly.

I often thought how much good the people could do if they spent their time volunteering for truly needy causes instead of the useless crap they were 'called' to do.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/12/2019 09:38AM by mel.

mel Wrote:
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> I often thought how much good the people could do if they spent their time volunteering for truly needy causes instead of the useless crap they were 'called' to do.

Mormonism TAKES ALL THEIR TIME (and many don't seem to mind), thoughts and dreams.

LDSinc is limiting - and members are LIMITED - to the max.

Mormons DO LITTLE for their otherwise would-be communities in ACTUAL good, and even less for others. Self/ 'church'occupies and permeates their every move.

They are handcuffed (by tscc) in what they can think, do, and feel.

Above all, mormondumb had made them numb to the world/ reality.

They just don't feel it.

It's as if they are asleep or in an illusion (because they are).

The Disappearing Act worked best for me!

Amyjo Wrote:
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> The Disappearing Act worked best for me!

Yep! That's the path I chose, also!!!

Exactly! LOL!

That's why so many new converts leave. After getting the big fellowshipping, love-bombing rush my the Mormons and the missionaries, they are baptized--and suddenly everything changes. They are just one of the more minor minions (lower in the hierarchy, because they are "converts" and not "BIC") and they are ignored. The missionaries who were their best, most intimate friends, are transferred out, and all that's left are a bunch of strangers, wanting the new members to clean their toilets and pay them money for blessings they haven't received yet--and never will receive. It's a disaster.

There is a convert on the East Coast who has a vendetta against BIC TBM's from Utah and Idaho. She gossips to no end about how superior they are because they're BIC while she looks down her nose on them and is the quintessential busybody gossip of the church town square for her ward where she lives.

This is a little bit of her bio (names omitted,) from the short story contest:

https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2168855

exminion Wrote:

> That's why so many new converts leave.

Yes, just like dating some weirdo who leaves as soon as you aren't unavailable anymore!!!

> they are baptized--and suddenly everything changes.

With no warning at all. Suddenly there is no one to sit with, no one wants to talk to you, and those implied promises of friendship and "fellowship" are gone as if they had never been made (but they were).

>The missionaries who were their best, most intimate friends, are transferred out

And they don't tell you that they will only be here for a month or two. Coming in new, you don't know how it works, at all.

> pay them money for blessings they haven't received yet--and never will receive. It's a disaster.

Yes. And what I am still trying to get over is the disappointment in myself that I was so easily hoodwinked, I thought I was smarter than that.

I console myself in thinking, they have had a century of practice drawing people in.

There's no interest in new members unless members are assigned to be a friend.

Salvation is regarded as a personal endeavor. Even the idea of family exaltation is based on every single person living righteously. There is no talk of congregations, wards or stakes being exalted.

Very true about being dumped after the "baptizers" leave. Other missionaries have little interest in maintaining/helping/befriending someone else's convert.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/13/2019 02:46PM by messygoop.

messygoop Wrote:
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> There's no interest in new members unless members are assigned to be a friend.

And that's what makes me feel so stupid, that I thought they were really going to be friends....they pretend that they are...
>
> Salvation is regarded as a personal endeavor.

This is very interesting. I hadn't thought about that until you wrote this... Instead of sobbing about the Atonement all the time they could have actually mentioned high concepts like that and it would have been interesting.

>Even the idea of family exaltation is based on every single person living righteously. There is no talk of congregations, wards or stakes being exalted.

You are right. Yet another thing that was never mentioned.

> Very true about being dumped after the "baptizers" leave. Other missionaries have little interest in maintaining/helping/befriending someone else's convert.

Well, I didn't really blame THEM for being goal-oriented, that is, I think, what they're told to do (get members and baptize them). I do blame the ward for having no interest in me.

In my time there, I found the Missionaries to be the most friendly ones there. That could be because I started taking them to nice restaurant lunches or dinners around once a month. My name was passed on as they rotated out. They were nice dinner companions and relaxed a bit, joked a bit, and shared some apps and stories with me (rather than the prescribed 1 hour limit on dinner and 15 minutes to be spent on a lesson, we often had 2-hour dinners and 2-minute lessons). Take that, Missionary Rules!

Hard working members are starved for attention and appreciation and receive very little.

Most exmos just want to be left in peace and are annoyed by the fake shows of friendship.

Cheryl Wrote:
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> Hard working members are starved for attention and appreciation and receive very little.

That was so weird to me, people giving up all those hours and spending their own money, often, to do meaningless projects for no appreciation, and yet they keep on doing it.

Thank you for the observations, Cheryl!

It's a hollow ('religion') racket, an empty promise, a false practise.

It is going nowhere... and taking the members with it.

It's dull, stultifying, meaningless, and useless.

It doesn't lift people up but rather drags them down... (to the pits of HELLo).

It WON'T get with the program, but expects the members to.

Mormonism is LIFELESS.

moremany Wrote:
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> It doesn't lift people up but rather drags them down... (to the pits of HELLo).

Yes. When I would come out depressed after a service on Sunday, my co-workers kept saying--you are supposed to feel better after going to church! That was one of my first clues about the LDS reality!
>
> It WON'T get with the program, but expects the members to.

Yes. Accept the program, no questions, no comments.
>
> Mormonism is LIFELESS.

I am so happy I am getting a LIFE again now free from it!!!

Thanks, Moremany!!!

Sure Mel. And thanks for your words (of wisdom), always.

True: about Mormonism draining!

There's life down here and you're always welcome.

M@t

You know i have the exact same experience ,in some ways i probably still have some illusion clouding my judgment.Doing my best to move on.

johnhope Wrote:
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>in some ways i probably still have some illusion clouding my judgment.Doing my best to move on.

Johnhope,

Time, space, distance will help you. The Board is a wonderful resource. You will get there! Glad you are moving on.

Thank you for posting!

Mel

In the 40+ years since I walked away from the church I was contacted only once, and then halfheartedly. Maybe they were glad to see me go.

olderelder Wrote:
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> ... Maybe they were glad to see me go.

Maybe they had all the impositions filled.

If you're older they don't want you.

You might accidentally pantomime slitting your throat in the temple or demand the women veil their faces.

You might ask about the monthly ward dinner, when the green and gold ball is or where you take your donations for the annual relief society bazaar.

Worse when asked to clean toilets you might ask when the janitor will be back.

Perhaps you were a 70 before you left and it would cause confusion among the younger generations.

However.....expect at leastone visit as you near 75 so they can get you to sign over your house and stock portfolio.

Heartless Wrote

> You might ask about the monthly ward dinner, when
> the green and gold ball is or where you take your
> donations for the annual relief society bazaar.

Did they actually used to do all these things? Do you think all these things were discontinued because of cost cutting or some other reason?
>
> Worse when asked to clean toilets you might ask
> when the janitor will be back.

Hahah heart... I always enjoy your posts and humor!!!

> However.....expect at leastone visit as you near
> 75 so they can get you to sign over your house and
> stock portfolio.

Yet another example of how the family doesn’t come first when they have taken all mom and dad’s money from the kids who might have needed it.

At one time many decades ago the church had an enormous social component.

Not only regular dances for teens, singles and couples but family events such as dinners, movies, sports programs and talent shows.

Many major holidays were celebrated too. The "cultural hall" could be rented out and my local elementary school used the church stage for their plays because it held more people than the school stage.

Brace yourself for this but......we actually used the kitchens to cook food!

The relief society bazaar was an annual fund raiser. There were also bake sales and other fund raisers.

Daddy Daughter dances and in my ward at least a mother son breakfast.

Once correlation and central financing came into play everything stopped.

So they went from a happy church to a dysfunctional one.Corporate bureaucratization might be the cause that have taken out the soul/happiness/fun in the church..... That figures.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2019 11:05PM by johnhope.

Yes. Both topics get discussed frequently.

The abandonment of the elderly.

The loss of the church from the center of a binding community to a mere corporate enity wanting your money and free labor.

Some folks have shared their unsatisfying experiences here of returning (even for a visit) and have found it to be underwhelming. It reaffirms that they were correct when they made the choice to leave in the first place.

Heartless Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> At one time many decades ago the church had an
> enormous social component.
>
> Not only regular dances for teens, singles and
> couples but family events such as dinners, movies,
> sports programs and talent shows.
>
> Many major holidays were celebrated too. The
> "cultural hall" could be rented out and my local
> elementary school used the church stage for their
> plays because it held more people than the school
> stage.
>
> Brace yourself for this but......we actually used
> the kitchens to cook food!
>
> The relief society bazaar was an annual fund
> raiser. There were also bake sales and other fund
> raisers.
>
> Daddy Daughter dances and in my ward at least a
> mother son breakfast.
>
> Once correlation and central financing came into
> play everything stopped.

That's what kept a lot of us attending and believing. The socialization part was the last hook that kept us hanging on to staying with a crazy belief religion. It certainly wasn't the doctrine nor the absurd line of leaders that supported my attendance.

I would have never served a mission or even stayed active in the church the way its been post-correlation google years. It offers nothing of value.

Just for sharing purposes friends,after LDS right i actually attended an Evangelical church and lo and behold it seems to me that was not much of an improvement.You talk about Christianity,in appearance its always a belief system but it does teaches people how to love,forgive and be Christ like.So i go to this Evangelical church and the folks behaves more or less the same way.Though you're not expected to clean the toilet or to hold any callings.They only care if you go and attend and not really about you.Having said all that, just a little bit about my background.My family is mainly atheism.Too much socialism and pragmatism.(Atheist are not particularly happy people,Communist?,Stalin?,Mao? haha)The thing i got out of Christianity is to love,forgive and be Christlike it does improve my relationships with a lot of people.Something i learn in the bible and books about bible.My main question now is ,is there really a christ's church on earth nowadays?

Now the real question about spirituality.This is something you have to experience yourself.For me spirituality is something beyond the logical mind.One have to realize the limitations of the logical mind.In science its called fuzzy logic haha.There are dimensions where science and logic have not reached yet.Question now is there god?,i think god is as true as gravity.God is truth.Laws of creation,physics and all that.The Buddha really touched on these things.In his experience there is karma.Whatever that happens to you ,you're responsible.You make your own misery or you make your own happiness.There is truth in this and truth is god.I believe human consciousness is the next dimension that will make the leap.To catch up with all the technology that has improved in the recent era.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2019 11:34PM by johnhope.