Posted by:
exminion
(
)
Date: March 24, 2019 01:57PM
It's hard to relate to people who have a skewed view of reality.
Congratulations for absorbing the hatred, like a scapegoat, and saving your children. There's no "punishment" that the Mormons could put upon you that could take away from the happiness of your children. I used to think: "Bring it on, Mormons! Try what you will! You will never abuse my children again!" The Mormons are the only ones who would think you were "evil" to save your kids from a cult. Everyone else, including me, thinks you are a hero!
You deserve credit, not shunning. Your children deserve respect, for standing up against lies and manipulations, and for following the Truth.
Aloneagain, you seem sad, today. Please don't let the Mormons get you down!
1) You didn't lose "everyone." Many of us ex-Mormons feel that way sometimes, but that's the way the Mormons WANT us to feel. They shun us into "outer darkness", immediately, instead of waiting for their MorGod to do so. They also hope they can punish us and shame us to come crawling back to the cult.
2) Your children seem to be still accepted by your Mormon family--but I'll bet that they are still trying reel your children back in. Mormons never give up. In time, your children will feel so uncomfortable, that they won't want to be around these people very much.
3) You wrote: "I may not have a family, but at least my children are so far out that no one will ever be able to convince them to come back in." It's hard to let go of your children, but if your son is 20, and your other kids are near that age, too, it's a natural time for them to branch out on their own. You might be feeling the common "empty-nest" loneliness. It seems like you still have contact with them. Trust me, YOU will be their go-to parent, moving forward. Like I said, Mormons have their own view of reality, and it closes off others. You will be the parent who listens and understands, instead of preaches and judges.
You have a brighter future with your kids than you think you have! I went through the same thing with my children, years ago, and they prevailed! We live in a Mormon-dominated neighborhood, and we all were given a hard time when we resigned from the cult.The NON- and EX-Mormon friends my children made have been life-long friends. No more Mormon fake friends and competitive "frenemies". My children grew to ignore their jealous gossip. They were active in sports, and were on sports teams. They joined a non-denominational Scout troop, and got their Eagle Scout awards. They were interested in learning at school, and went on to the community college for their associates, and then the University to graduate, and beyond. They had after-school jobs, and (with my help) put themselves through school to graduate with BS, Master's, and a law degree. I am a single parent, and we struggled financially, at first, right after the divorce, and the Mormon kids treated us like we were "a broken home." The Mormons kids in our neighborhood didn't have to work, and the ward members felt more "blessed" than we were.
My kids became the good examples for my ex-husband's TBM family, who, until last year, lived nearby. The in-laws wanted my kids to be roommates with their TBM cousins in college, to help them find jobs, to set them up with good dates, to give them advice, to get two of them off drugs. This was a burden to my kids, and I finally had to step in, and discourage this. I didn't care if they thought I was awful. My children actually thanked me for getting them out of those tough family situations, and for taking the flak for it. Maybe this is what parents have to do, sometimes.
If money is a blessing, my children and I are truly blessed. The ignorant TBM neighbors don't remember how hard we all worked, and they ask invasive questions about our various careers. We are reputable and honest, and they seem disappointed at our happiness. My children all have houses in the neighborhood, are happily married, and their children are happy non-Mormons.
Sometimes I have nightmares, that I'm back in that Mormon world, when I was threatened with failure and outer-darkness, and the fear that my children and I would be separated for eternity.
Don't go back there! Don't buy into the notion that you don't have a family anymore! A family is all about LOVE. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. And you have that! (((hugs to you)))