I finally realized this not even three months ago, but it's been life-changing: church leaders don't own me.

I know it's silly, but I never even considered it. I used to be TERRIFIED of them. I'd accept every calling even if I didn't want to. I'd just blindly follow along because that's all I knew. They were distinguished priesthood leaders, who was I to disobey?

But then I realized I'm a volunteer at a church. I don't have to do anything. They aren't my employer.

I still treat them with respect and everything, but I've finally learned to let go of the guilt and just say no to uncomfortable interviews and callings. (I'm 25, so it's about time).

By this time it’s obvious to me that the blind are leading the blind. Don’t let the guy with the white cane help you cross the street.

Hey you're catching on earlier than I did. I was in my 30's.

Congratulations on your awakening. Think "baby steps" if you need time to work on your exit plan.

It's a journey and a process, but you can do it on your terms and don't let anyone try to BS you - which you seem to already understand. Once the shelf starts to crack, it keeps cracking.

You'll find a good support network here. There are meetups in locales around the country, especially the Morridor. Lots of resources that others have paved the way for us to find to help us study our way out.

The Tanners have an incredible resource available still @ Utah Lighthouse Ministry. They used to mail me their flyers when I was a fledgling ex-Mormon. Now you can find all their materials online. Big plus!

Someone on this board (IIRC) stated once:

"I took control of my own soul". I wrote it down because I thought it was so profound. And so true.

It's crazy when you really think about it. We were PAYING them to tell us what to think and do.

They were selling a version of an afterlife and what God wants everyone to be doing and we demanded no proof or accountability from them. They don't know any more about a God than you or my dog.

How convenient that the product they sell is supposed to be delivered after death when you can't ask for a refund.

You're supposed to be happy waiting for your "kingdom" in the next life while religious leaders have their kingdom here and now. They are parasites.

Pat yourself on the back for realizing how they manipulate people so early. You won't believe just how deep the rabbit hole goes once you start to question.

It is liberating! I'll never forget the look of the counselor's face when I questioned why the bishop wanted to meet with me. I told him I needed to know if it was worth my time. I didn't go.

The comment about LDS as a product brings to mind that all religions are selling a bright big box of nothing. Whereas a salesman for cell phones puts on his sales table, cell phones, a seller of hammers puts hammers on the table, the religious dogma salesman puts NOTHING on the table. Just words, words, words, as Hamlet said. Just words pointing to an invisible inaudible deity, i.e. no-thing; that is no empirical evidence. Zero.

I remember being between missions, coming home for a knee injury and wanting to be released. The Stake president refused to release me. I had just read a book while home on Assertiveness and asked to be released several times using the assertive techniques I learned. He refused. He kept asking if I planned on completing my mission. I had not decided yet. I had a year to go and was having some doubts about the dogma. I wanted to be released, heal my knee injury and think on it. I knew if I told him I was undecided he'd hound me and shame me, so I just kept avoiding his question and asking to be released. The psychological power these jerks have over young minds is amazing. I mean I actually thought I needed some magical ritual to release me from being a full time missionary!

The fact that he was so controlling makes me angry till this day, and I am 43 as I write this and resigned over ten years ago in 2004.On the bright side, when I think about those days and compare it to now, I feel liberated and free!!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/31/2019 08:41PM by wonderfull.

It was coming to this board and seeing the lack of respect that was really liberating for me. I had some interesting experiences with leaders over the gay issue. I gave over my power to them. I trusted them and they failed me.

I blamed my ex and other gays. I blamed myself. And then I came to this board and I realized who was at fault. It was the lds leaders for how they treat gays, how they still deal with trying to marry them off to straight spouses. They are the ones I had the RIGHT to be angry with. I have NO RESPECT for them whatsoever. They used and abused me, and then abandoned me. Now why should I respect them?

It was SO FREEING to realize they were mere men and they didn't deserve my respect.

Welcome to adulthood

Like.

The irony is I had to learn this on my own and not from my parental units or other adults around me.

You can always quit a calling. What are they going to do? Fire you? Huff and puff a bit. Big deal.

Take your Sundays back.

Wouldn't you love to tell them next time they try to use "priesthood authority" over you, "you're not the boss of me!"

The bishop was e-mailing me his testimony and I told him he had no authority over me. He actually agreed with me. I hadn't been to church in a long time and he said I hadn't sustained him, so I was correct.

I told him that while I was walking to church over the years trying to save my family, I'd see him mowing his lawn . . .

The Mormons have no authority over God, either!

My last words spoken in a Mormon church building to the bishop was, "You Mormons can't tell God what to do!"

This was in answer to the bishop's judgments of me, and his threats and curses upon me and my children. It is all make up lies, hot-air, and scare tactics.

The bishop slammed the "Church Handbook of Instructions" on the desk in front of me, and said, "THIS says I have the authority to be a "Judge in Zion." That book, and all of the Mormon scriptures (The Bible isn't Mormon) are made up, and don't come from God. I told the bishop that the Handbook was meaningless to me.

The Mormons tell God who is worthy or unworthy to enter their (fake) sacred temples, to be sealed to their families for eternity. At a price, of course $$. If you don't have a temple recommend, then the Mormons tell God to not let you into the highest degree of Glory, and not let you see your loved ones. The Mormons have pronounced God to be a polygamist, and that polygamy is "God's way" in Heaven.

God is NOT a Mormon! Perhaps, though all of this garbage, you will come out the other side, still believing in God and Christ, as my children and I have.

Learning that the Mormons have NO AUTHORITY and that Mormonism has nothing to do with God or Christ--that is the first step.

Know fact from fiction, and learn to be assertive. There are books that teach you how to be assertive, and that even give you dialogs and techniques on how to say "No." The Mormons are practiced and proficient at not accepting "No" for an answer. Especially, the new missionaries are trained in the MTC's in these techniques. I learned them in business school.

A good beginner book is "When I Say No I Feel Guilty." It's a valuable tool in dealing with the Mormons in your life.

Good luck. You're wise beyond your years. It took me over 40 hears to learn what you know.

Whenever someone who is not a sworn police officer, or a representative of a governmental agency, or the owner of the property you're standing on, tells you to do something, ask for a time out while you call for a second opinion.

If an "authority" in the mormon church tells you to do something, your response, if you so chose, can be "No."e If any further clarification is requested, go with "Pish posh." Just keep repeating "no" and "pish posh".

I want "Pish Posh" to become the two words most associated with people departing the mormon church and their feelings regarding said church, and especially the response of choice when mormons bear their testimonies.

Also, I would like to see the phrase, "Once a mormon, always a mormon!" become a part of the modern conversation.

I am a dreamer!!