We had a contest once to see if we could put them on by going through the butt flap. We were all sort of shy, you know, embarrassed, so we did it in the dark.
None of us succeeded. Truth be told, I grunted and groaned but it was just sound effects. I didn't really try.
Then afterward we went to a bowling alley. This was in Guadalajara. We Elders were at an awkward age... We didn't bowl, we just hung around.
elderolddog Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > We had a contest once to see if we could put them > on by going through the butt flap. We were all > sort of shy, you know, embarrassed, so we did it > in the dark. > > None of us succeeded. Truth be told, I grunted > and groaned but it was just sound effects. I > didn't really try. > > Then afterward we went to a bowling alley. This > was in Guadalajara. We Elders were at an awkward > age... We didn't bowl, we just hung around.
The butt flap existed on the one-piece garments. Think long underwear, which of course is what they were, but with sacred markings stitched in.
The butt flap was a vertical cut that followed the butt crack, and when one sat on a toilet (assuming one was available), one would spread that flap and conduct business accordingly.
So my joke involved trying to don a pair of long john garments by trying to climb in via that butt flap.
Yes, now that I'm remembering.... I put them on backwards a few times, too. The funny thing is, I never bothered to take them off again to correct the mistake. Any which way, they never did fit, and were always awkward.
Sometimes I would wear just the tops, and normal underwear on the bottom.
I even put my robe on in the temple inside out. Yes, inside out. The old lady at the veil caught it and I had to redo the veil spiel. I'm surprised I didn't have to do the whole session again. That was my last time doing an endowment. I never once got to sit down in the celestial room as I never got through the veil fast enough. My ex and my best friend were waiting for me after that last experience. I had taken my friend along as I was so nervous from all the nit picking I'd had other times and she was so upset that she had messed it up for me.
Much easier to get the robe inside out than the garments.
And the visual that eod painted is pretty hilarious. I'm sure I'll keep chuckling about it while working.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/15/2019 03:26PM by cl2.
Made me laugh. This thread reminded me of something I hadn't thought about in decades. Yes, I used to wear the old one-piece nursing garmies inside out and I actually did worry that the cloth behind the marks (anyone remember that?) wasn't touching my skin. But the nursing garmies had zippers in them and they were annoying and harder to unzip (under your nursing bra) when they were worn the right way. God, those things were so horrible. I want those years that I was imprisoned in them back.
baura Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > If you wear your garmies inside out you protect > the entire > universe, but you, yourself, are at risk!
I was thinking the same thing... as in, it reverses the whole protection plan.hahahahahhahahah
The main problem with TGs is that evem the faintest stain shows up on them. Honestly, wearing those things made me look like I had a weak bladder. Even sitting down some grass meant I'd get a green stain on them.
I see men with their crew neck garment tops--sometimes with shirt buttons open--and they get very discolored, either yellowish or gray. It's gross, but I guess they consider it spiritual and physical Kevlar and their pharisaical symbol of holiness.
It does help keeping the Law of Chastity. Imagine trying to get laid in those stained old things. Wear the butt-flap garments and you can keep your vow of celibacy, no problem.
Get a color T-Shirt, they work much better.
My brother in the Army has special green garments and he wears them everywhere. Says they are better material and they look better for a longer time.
White clothing still upsets me. I hate seeing some self-righteous dude strutting around in a white shirt and tie.
elderolddog Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > So you CAN cast your own butt into Outer Darkness; > you don't have to wait for Baby Jesus to do it...
No as a matter of fact you can orbit our solar system in your garments... finding a restroom could be proglematic though.