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Posted by: Happy_Heretic ( )
Date: May 29, 2019 09:21AM

Here is the link:
http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/04/18/jesus-not-coming-back-by-the-looks-of-it-admits-vatican/

From Article:

"The Vatican defended Jesus’ broken promise, claiming “he was probably drinking wine” at the time when he made the comments.

“Having the ability to turn water into wine had its ups and its downs.” added Cardinal Salvadore. “We all make promises we can’t keep when we’re drunk. Jesus was no different.”

Hahaha....

HH =)

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: May 29, 2019 10:56AM

In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very unhappy and has widely been seen as a bad move.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZLtcTZP2js



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/29/2019 11:01AM by Dave the Atheist.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: May 29, 2019 11:18AM

He doesn't have to.

“Whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.”

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Posted by: Happy_Heretic ( )
Date: May 29, 2019 12:23PM

I have heard his self-procliamed servants. Very Unimpressive. C'mon Jesus... you can do better. Be Better.

HH =)

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: May 29, 2019 12:33PM

2000 years and Jesus can't even manage one drive-by? Grudge perhaps?

I'm not buying this drunk-dialing thing either.

Silly Cardinal Salvadore---Believing that when the Bible said wine it actually meant wine! It was obviously just Welch's grape juice since wine is against the WoW. Jesus had turned the water into Grape Juice and kept it in the refrigerator* so it couldn't possibly ferment.

But a thousand years from now the religious leaders will still be promising the masses that Jesus will be back any time now and the followers will still be eating it up. Great formula. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

*Yes. The son of God had a refrigerator. If you could perform miracles back then in the arid desert wouldn't popping out a refrigerator be one of them right after you invented surfing?

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: May 30, 2019 05:43PM

Done & Done Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 2000 years and Jesus can't even manage one drive-by?

Hahahaha!

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Posted by: Jordan ( )
Date: May 31, 2019 10:47AM

snopes Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/jesus-is-not-com
> ing-back-vatican-says/

You don't need Snopes to think for you.

Waterford Whispers is a well known Irish parody

Beware of so called "fact checkers", they're a gateway to censorshop.

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Posted by: nolongerangry ( )
Date: May 30, 2019 04:33PM

This was on the Firefox/Google news splash page. If they put stuff like this up there making it sound like real news, what news can we really trust?

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: May 31, 2019 10:46AM

nolongerangry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ... what news can we really trust?

The saying "Consider the Source" is your best bet. If you know it is a parody site, you figure it is humor. You can also look at the site "Disclaimer" where they state:

"Waterford Whispers News is a satirical newspaper and website published by Waterford Whispers News. Waterford Whispers News uses invented names in all its stories..."

That makes it pretty clear that they are inventing the stories and the people...

If you look at Deseret News you won't see an obvious 'Disclaimer" but consider the source, make up your own mind about their 'trustworthiness" hahah!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/31/2019 11:03AM by mel.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 30, 2019 05:28PM

Damn it! If we can't trust the internet, and the current percentage of those who don't is 14.11%, who can we trust?

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: May 30, 2019 05:45PM

I just have to monetize that other 85.89% and then I can retire....

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Posted by: macaRomney ( )
Date: May 30, 2019 05:45PM

I wonder if the pope is prepared to hand over the keys when/if the time comes? The cardinals may have to go out and get a real job.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 30, 2019 05:55PM

So maybe Jesus is running late, but his mom sure has done her part!

While on my mission I got to visit two locales where Mexican Jesus' mom made two appearances. Certainly the most famous in Mexico is her stint as La Virgen de Guadalupe, where she made Juan Diego a famous man. Those who know her well call her Lupe...

The other Virgen (Spanish spelling) I got to meet up close and personal was La Virgen de Zapopan. She just has a church, whereas Lupe has a Basilica.

How many times has she visited? Whatever that number is, it continues to rise. Here's a world map showing her appearances. How does one argue with data?

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2015/11/151113-virgin-mary-sightings-map/

One could easily subscribe to the notion that Jesus' mom is keeping him up to date on developments here on Earth. Hopefully, she'll let him know when the time is ripe.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: May 31, 2019 10:59AM

Hahahaha ha. Good ole Maria!

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Posted by: GregS ( )
Date: May 31, 2019 08:34AM

"He's dead, Jim."

--Dr. Leonard McCoy

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: May 31, 2019 10:43AM

I've been reading "The Onion" (a news parody site) since they first started in 1988. One thing I like, besides their irreverent humor and willingness to have bad taste, is, they have used the same 3 actors' pictures since they started.

Those pictures are used to illustrate any "man on the street' interview, and they are bylined with different professions every time. The same poses, the same 3 actors, same clothes, since 1988. I like the consistency. :)

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Posted by: Jordan ( )
Date: May 31, 2019 10:49AM

The odd thing is that the Onion is more accurate on the news than certain non-parody sites. They've even been predictive. Some of their articles from a few years ago are similar to "real" news stories today!

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: May 31, 2019 11:05AM

Jordan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The odd thing is that the Onion is more accurate
> on the news than certain non-parody sites. They've
> even been predictive. Some of their articles from
> a few years ago are similar to "real" news stories
> today!

Yes! I like today's story that Senator McCain's dying wish was that his daughter be given her own network talk show....also funny about Keanu Reeves preparation for "John Wick 3" by doing JW1 and 2....

The Onion published a book of all their covers, I found it on remainder, mostly still hilarious!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/31/2019 11:08AM by mel.

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Posted by: exminion ( )
Date: May 31, 2019 07:24PM

That's hilarious!

The old Tonight Show used to do the same thing, using Tom Poston, Don Knotts, and ____Hathaway. You've got to be old to remember these "men on the street." My older brothers had me hooked on this.

We have missed your, HH! We knew it was satire, when we read your title. HH. Without the immanent "Second Coming", Christianity might just as well pack up and disappear.

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Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: May 31, 2019 11:37AM

He’s returning with a nail gun.

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: May 31, 2019 11:39AM

babyloncansuckit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> He’s returning with a nail gun.

Modernization! Ha!

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Posted by: Jimbo ( )
Date: May 31, 2019 07:06PM

Probably never existed to begin with .One big myth

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: June 01, 2019 01:38PM

Jesus isn't coming, Karen. So it's okay that you took all the money. There's no one to stop you, is there? Maybe a lawyer will call you.

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