Hi, y'all. I feel some guilt posting here because I'm a member (convert), but I wanted to get input from people in and out of the church. Is anyone else triggered by people saying heavenly father presented them with trials in the pre-existence and they agreed? I dont believe he would do such a thing. Also, the implication also sounds like a cop outand goes against agency. Most recently a member with a cheating, conniving, gambling husband spoke of her trials with him being her choice before she came to earth. Dude..what? She made a poor choice (as many of us have in the past I mean the guy I was with at 18 is in prison today). The belief heavenly father would want us to be harmed or abused. I know not everyone believes such things or interprets it that way but it infuriates me..and I never know whonto discuss it with. Anyone else feel offended by this as members?

The whole Mormon experience revolves around suffering and being miserable for some unprovable heavenly reward. A lot of us bought into it, but thank goodness the internet came along. Nobody needs to suffer unnecessarily and be told that it's a good test of faith.

A faithful testimony bearer got up each month and shared her belief in a loving God despite her chronic pain in her feet. She gushed over the many blessings from the mighty priesthood and blamed herself for not feeling better. Somebody finally convinced her to see an osteopath to get some relief.

She showed up in a wheelchair a few weeks later. The poor woman had been hobbling around in extreme pain because she had broken bones in both feet.

messygoop Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The whole Mormon experience revolves around
> suffering and being miserable for some unprovable
> heavenly reward. A lot of us bought into it, but
> thank goodness the internet came along. Nobody
> needs to suffer unnecessarily and be told that
> it's a good test of faith.
>

This sounds like my Catholic parochial education back in the 1950's. I don't know if it's that way anymore.

Ok, that lady sounds extreme..like faith healing extreme. I hope she didn't have lasting damage. My word, that is insane.

Come to think of it, it does seem strange that the temple costume didn’t include a ball gag.

from being gay. I found out before I married him. My story has been repeated over and over on this board. It will always effect every day of my life. I turn 62 today. It is 2:22 a.m. and I can't sleep.

My husband was also told that he was given being gay as his trial.

When we were on our honeymoon, he was in a good place, all repenting done, etc., and I remember driving towards CA and thinking I wished we would get in an accident and get killed so he would be okay.

I used to go walk at the middle school track and talk to God about my life--after my husband had left and I'd been through hell. I told him I couldn't believe I had chosen this for my life. Whether there is a God or not, I don't worry about, but at the time I FELT STRONGLY that this is not what he would want for my life, but it was my life. I NEEDED to feel that. It made a huge difference. It was at that same track that I lost all my beliefs in a mere second.

My friend's daughter was getting married in the temple and she kept telling her mother if anything went wrong with wedding plans, "The church is still true, so what does it matter?" I couldn't get that idea out of my mind and it occurred to me that IT MATTERED TO ME.

People still think I failed. I am blamed more than my husband is for him still being gay (they told me he was damned if he didn't change in 1983 and, yes, they told us to marry).

We've long been "separated" and I have the guy I wanted to marry at age 20 (he was nonmormon) in my life for over 14 years now. So I'm an adulteress apostate apathetist (spelling?).

I left the MORMON church over my life experience of suffering and their lack of answers when it came to GAY. They were dead wrong in every way. I proved it to myself. My life has been so much better since I left mormonism.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/01/2019 04:29AM by cl2.

Excuse me..someone asked you to marry a gay man? Told him HF made him gay, and told you to essentially convert him to become straight? I had to repeat it to myself because that seems, I don't know, insane? I have a gay friend and he was molested as a child and he tried to like women and just..he can't. Your story is a reminder to me that my own revelation is as valid as anyone else's, and between me and the spirit. I'm assuming it was a bishop told you what to do..a poorly appointed bishop. My word, that's so sad for your and your ex. the cburch was whack in the 80's. Finally, I'm not sure that is adultery as husband #1 was probably more of a friend than a husband.I agree God would never have wanted that for you.

There have been a few gays we've heard of or who posted on the board who have been told by their bishops, SPs, MPs to marry a woman or they wanted to marry a woman. They may pretend they don't suggest it any longer, but they do.

My "ex" at least told me before we married. The bishop told us to try to get him turned on. Well, I was one of those good little mormons girls who had saved herself very carefully. This didn't sit right with me. I fell into a suicidal depression. We were supposed to work with the bishop and he would give us assignments, etc. Well, he'd give my boyfriend assignments and then he'd try them out on me. First assignment was french kissing. I had purposely never french kissed so I didn't have to report it to a bishop.

I realized just recently that one of the BIG reasons we got married was to survive. They were destroying me and they didn't give a damn who I was. It wasn't just the bishop. Even Boyd Packer was involved including the SP and a new bishop and the LDS therapist and my friend who was about 10 to 15 years older than me and I worked with.

I had chosen to find my husband and save him and he had to be changed to straight. No, he never changed. I'll be blunt here and say we did have sex and it wasn't just once. We have twins, but people think we only had sex once. It was a lot more than that, BUT I don't think about it anymore. I can't even remember much about it. There is a lot I've chosen to suppress. He and I are good friends (most of the time) and we actually live in the same house, but not "together."

But, yes, he was told that this was his burden to carry and his job to go straight or he was DAMNED. Not like they say now--but DAMNED. Do that to someone like me!!! It just hooked me in to the situation more. It has been very damaging for all of us. It has been crazy!!!! My son and my ex have been arguing today, so it has been really fun today.

I don't consider myself an adulteress, but I actually enjoy the label as I was such a good little mormon girl. I revel in the life I live now. I feel much more my authentic self OUT of mormonism.

P.S. They may say that because of your suffering, you will be truly blessed in the next life, but behind your back they are talking about "what must she have done bad to deserve this?"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/01/2019 07:58PM by cl2.

Gayness isn’t the Holy Ghost’s core competency.

Hugs from High Desert Country!

(P.S. It's NOT your fault!!)

I am rather what--reserved--but this is a big one. After the last 8 months after losing my job and working Sam's for 5 months, now I get to get early SS!!!! I have to wait until mid August, but it's coming!! This is a HUGE DAY for me.

There is definitely a subset of Mormonism, which includes my wife and in-laws, that tacitly believes that the greater the suffering, the greater the heavenly reward. It's like a reverse status for them where the most miserable members are to be the most revered.

I was listening to a conversation of some women in my wife's ward. They are all going on about some of their recent trials. My SIL was last to list her trials, but they were long, and doozies to boot. At the end she declared, "I win!"

My first thought was that my SIL was making light of her trials and that the other women would laugh at her self-effacing humor. Nope. There was no laughter, not really any commiseration, either. A couple of the women mentioned that my SIL will truly be blessed, at which my SIL was visibly bursting with pride.

A common story told among my in-laws is about a pair of men walking down the road. Another pair observes the first pair and note one man is being harassed by a single demon, while the second man is besieged by a dozen demons. One of the observing pair asks his companion, "Which is the more devout man?" The companion responds, "Why, the man with a single demon, of course." "No," says the first observer, "it is the man with a crowd of demons, for his faith is so strong that it attracts demons who covet the rewards for breaking the spirit of one who is so devout."

Your story just reminded me of being taught in seminary, back in the 70s, that the more righteous you are the more satan wants to tempt you, so, if you're having lots of "trials", it's just because you are extra speshul and satan is working overtime on you. What a load of crap.

"The whole Mormon experience revolves around suffering and being miserable ..."


The less "spiritual" merely have to trudge along the Treadmill to Zion (tm), faces frozen in an eternal rictus of despair. The more "exhalted" make the same journey with 20 bricks in their backpacks, faces brightened by forced clown-face smiles.

Onward, Ye Saints, Celestial City awaits - don't forget your tithing envelopes.

The idea of being unworthy in your worthiness is very compelling to some personalities. What you succeed in life pales in comparison with what you have suffered for your faith.

In my mother's case it has been a lifelong license to treat people poorly. This is changing a bit. I guess at the end of her life she wants to connect a bit more to the people she helped make with her DNA instead of just lord herself over them and dream of her future kingdoms in heaven.

On the other hand, when nonmormons are undergoing suffering it is because of their wickedness and desire to sin. God is making them suffer the consequences of their poor decisions. If only they'd accept "The Church," joy will surely come into their lives!!!!!!! There's always an explanation ...

Perhaps life is simply difficult, and all of us are going to suffer to one degree or another. If there is a god I cannot accept that an all-loving god would purposely send us trials and tribulations that cause us suffering. If there is a god I believe we will be judged on how we handle the difficulties that will inevitably come into our lives.

A god who would create us to be the creatures we are built-in suffering. It is as obvious as life and death. The Buddha couldn't work around it with religious beliefs.

To believe in a god(s) requires belief in the necessity of suffering.