To me it always felt like everyone was making an outward show to all the other Mormons that they were racing to heaven. Who really knows what was going on inside?
How about trying to run to the top of a VERY long STEEP escalator that was slowly moving downward. Make some progress, relax, back trying to move upward.
Mormonism, the religion of Sisphyus. The Upward Boner.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/05/2019 01:39PM by BYU Boner.
I kind of saw Mormonism as a way to secure good real estate in heaven. Of course LDS Inc. owns all the real estate in the hereafter and will sell it to you at the cost of 10% of your income plus most of your time. If you want a nice mansion in a good neighborhood you had better do what they say.
Constantly wondering if I was praying, praising and obeying God enough and the right way was one giant rat race.
What if I wasn't following EVERYTHING in the scriptures just right and disappointed Jesus?
That eye-in-the-sky mentality was not healthy. Add that to the idea that we are fallen and have to repent for everything. Honestly, I think I was more afraid that going to heaven to live with Jesus might be a constant guilt trip for not doing more to kiss up to Him. God's judgement didn't sound very friendly (then or now).
I believe that I was a happy mormon, even after losing my belief in a deity, because I knew, confirmed by a burning in my bosom, that I was not ghawd material. Thus I was not tormented by thoughts of "I'm not going to make it!!"
My thought process was, "Eh, I'll be happy with whatever I get."
Now, had I become the beloved First Brown Apostle of The Last Dispensation (FBAotLD), I would never have admitted the 'not-gonna-make-it-ness that had made me such a loveable GA. I would simply have traveled the world, First Class!, and hugged every Mia-Maid & Laura I could get my moist-palmed hands on. Selfies! Tons of Selfies!!