Posted by:
Ted
(
)
Date: July 06, 2019 10:09AM
My 90 year old TBM mother knows that I left the church several decades ago, but she loves to give me copies of Ensign Articles, quote Mormon verses to me, rehearse recent general conference talks, and tell me she has placed my name in the Temple prayer basket. Oh mom.
I respond by having fun with her in subtle ways. Here is our conversation yesterday:
Mom: Recently son, I was reading a talk by the prophet, Russell M. Nelson, and he was encouraging everyone to read and pray…do you read the scriptures anymore?
Me: I don’t mom. I don’t believe that Jesus is a Mormon. Sorry, but thanks for thinking of me.
Mom: Well you don’t have to believe that Jesus is a Mormon in order to read and pray.
Me: Point well taken. Thanks. Hey by the way, mom, how is it going to church these days for only 2 hours on Sunday instead of 3 hours? There has been a lot of changes recently, like no more home teaching or visiting teaching? You can drink coke and pepsi now? I remember that you said you missed drinking a coke with you became a Mormon over 60 years ago, and now Jesus says you can?
Mom: Oh yes, the Lord is making changes in getting ready for the last days.
Me: Really. Huh..well that’s interesting. You know, I was reading the other day how Wendy Nelson, is 26 years younger than Russell. 26 years!! Wow. Russ sort of robbed the cradle there didn’t he? Is that okay?
Mom: Well the Lord prepared her for him, she had never been married. How do you know that anyway, I hadn't heard that?
Me. He did, I mean Jesus did that. That was nice of him. I just got the information off the internet. I was thinking, though, that all of these sweeping changes seem sort of correlated to Wendy and Russel. You know, these beautiful young women, like Wendy, with their fancy hairstyles and stylish clothing – I mean you know they can have a great affect on an old man. Do you think it’s possible that some of these changes are just Wendy having “pillow talk” with Russell? How could he resist? He’s an old man and she’s a beautiful young woman.
Mom: I think you are just “funning” me now. Hush your mouth. He is the prophet, and Jesus tells him what to do, not Wendy.
Me: Ok…ok..all right…just saying.