Posted by:
exminion
(
)
Date: July 08, 2019 01:45AM
Yes, good call, but it still makes you hesitate. After all, my Mormon neighbors used to be perceived as "friends." I kept at it too long, and would try to mingle with them socially at weddings, Christmas parties, etc. I thought maybe I was the one who needed an attitude change. But, y'know, even if they didn't insult me directly like your wife's rude friend insulted you, they would talk like Mormons. They would gossip about people I didn't know, which was just boring, and made me feel left out. It was worse when they would gossip about people I did know, and I couldn't help rising to their defense. They were so cruel!
They still tell racist jokes! Yes, this was just last Christmas. They openly criticize gays. They make fun of women's rights activists. They hate Pelosi. They hate Trump, yet they all voted for him. They don't talk about their kids-why not? I wanted to know what had happened to my children's friends, and to the kids I taught in Sunday School, but could get nothing out of them. Then, I realized that there was nothing to brag about. Most of their kids had left the cult, or had gotten fried-out on drugs, or were still living in the basement. None of them had pets, so we couldn't exchange humorous pet stories. I didn't discuss business or finance with them, because so many of them were MLM scammers, or just untrustworthy, in general. I had no interest in exchanging jell-o recipes. None of them were outdoor people, especially. Their idea of good music was the MoTab choir, and their church had "discouraged" the many different kinds of music I love. What was there to talk about? Silence left me with nothing but negative vibes. Yeah, it took me a while to figure out that I was with people who disliked me--for no reason--because they never really did know me. I was just "that divorced apostate who took her children out with her."
It took me a longer while to realize that I did not really like them, either! Being around that negativity depresses me. I just let it all go, with a text or phone call, saying, "I won't be able to come to your party. Have a Happy Fourth of July, or Merry Christmas, or whatever. I made no excuses. I did not say I was "sorry." I politely wished them well. Those people had never been worth the trouble, the guilt, the obligation. They took away more than they brought to my life. I could never help them, or be their friend, because they didn't respect me enough to let me in.
I would have been a hopeless introvert, had I not had real, good non-Mormon and ex-Mormon friends from my past, from work, from out-of-state, and some ex-Mormon relatives. I could compare fake friendship to real friendship.
Life's too short to bother with people who bring you down.
(I wouldn't bother with anyone who brings down someone I love, either.)