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Posted by: Alan XL ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 02:06AM

If life was a game Satan would be leading 20000000 to 0!

I could never figure out why the Bible says if you need help, pray........ But nothing comes.

If your hungry, pray....... But nothing comes.


If your lonely, afraid, depressed, stuck down a bloody mine shaft with worms snacking on your family jewels, pray...... But nothing comes but future job opportunities for a eunuch.

Why is Satan the only one on the job?

Frankly you would have to give him 10 points for effort.

Can anyone tell me when Jesus will get back from vacation?

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Posted by: ApostNate ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 08:39AM

I recently made a similar point to a TBM lifelong friend. I recommended a few books like "No Man Knows My History" and others but he was afraid Satan might lead him astray. I asked him if Satan is more powerful than the holy ghoul. If God cares about him n his soul, why would he permit Satan to overpower the HG?

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Posted by: macaRomney ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 09:03AM

my question is how is "satan" so evident? Can't it mostly be all just bad luck. Remember Murphy's: law what can go wrong likely will. And a principle of thermodynamics states that our natural environment is in a state of disintegration, disorder naturally comes to pass.

We give "satan" too much credit.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 09:06AM

Satan won one today as I had KSL TV on for the morning news. They had a movie review of the new mormon movie and the reviewer mistakenly said "mormon" once instead of the church of . . . . They never do reviews of other movies, of course.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 09:26AM

I disagree. There is good in all things. And there is evil.

Sometimes the evil does outweigh the good in life, but not always. You have to look for the good to find it sometimes. Other times it's not so hard to see when it's right in front of you.

As for prayers, I've had some of mine answered where I knew that they were as in no fuzzy indicators that there was anything else at play.

I believe there are powers beyond our understanding working in our lives. It is my faith that helps me get through each day.

We all go through trials and suffering, that is part of the human condition. It isn't the only condition of existence. We also experience joy, birth, love, happiness.

As for where's Jesus? In my life he's been present for me or the God presence whatever that essence is through reassurance, giving me inner peace when I've needed it in answer to certain prayers when I've felt inconsolable. And through other signs and sometimes intercession. Yes, I've been saved more than once.

Am I thankful? Of course I am. I give thanks for my life, for my loved ones, for the time I have on this earth. And the time is the one thing we don't get back once it's gone, we don't get a dress rehearsal in this game of life.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: July 26, 2019 11:50AM

Amyjo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> And the time is the one thing we don't
> get back once it's gone, we don't get a dress
> rehearsal in this game of life.

But I picked out such a beautiful outfit for my mortality in my preexistence...My birthday suit is to die for.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 09:37AM

Bell Shaped Curve. That's how I see it. We're just little bouncing balls and if you want to understand why things turn out the way they do, just study the overall dispersion and then don't take it personally.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 10:09AM

Alan XL, it's all because you masturbated that one time.

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Posted by: Alan XL ( )
Date: July 26, 2019 12:02AM

But I was only administering the Patriarchal Grip to my best friend. Still trying to get it right!

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: July 26, 2019 11:42AM

Keep practicing!

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 10:10AM

Look at the bright side. Satan is being spectacularly successful at keeping people from joining the Mormon Church. You have to admire his competence.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 10:13AM

Or maybe there is a ghawd and making the mormon church shrink is something he just made a priority?

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Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 10:20AM

Jesus is too busy having sex with his multiple wives and drinking and playing poker with Joseph Smith and Brigham Young.

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 11:37AM

If Jesus ever actually did something, we wouldn’t need faith. ;)

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 01:16PM

Heck of a lot easier to blame Satan than it is to take personal responsibility for my mistakes.

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 01:47PM

How many people here actually believe in Satan anyway?

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 02:03PM

Another plus for Satan is that you need to pay for blessings from Heavenly Father, but the Stan-man does stuff for free.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 25, 2019 08:48PM

Jim Jeffries asks the question, why would Satan punish sinners? Why would he do ghawd that ’favor’? They don't get along at all, so why does ghawd thing he can count on Satan to do as ghawd wants?

What if it's all a big scam by this ghawd being, and it's Satan who has our best interests at heart?

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: July 26, 2019 12:30AM

did Russ 'really' say that using the word Mormon is a victory for Stan? Wow, how gullible are those MORMONS!


Was it Stan who made us wear clothes? I forgot.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/26/2019 12:42AM by GNPE.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 26, 2019 01:14AM

That "We're naked, Adam!" & "Hubba hubba, Eve!"

Why would partaking of the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil necessitate that a realization be made that 'naked = naughty'?

Wasn't that just the reaction of the naughty minded people who were writing that book?

Kids love running naked. Who teaches them to 'know' that being naked is naughty?

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: July 26, 2019 11:51AM

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Kids love running naked. Who teaches them to
> 'know' that being naked is naughty?

Lucifer?

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Posted by: valkyriequeen ( )
Date: July 26, 2019 01:41PM

I've always thought that the word "Mormon" is such a ridiculous name; no wonder Nelson wanted it stricken from everywhere, whether or not it's victorious for anyone.

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Posted by: anybody ( )
Date: July 26, 2019 09:46PM

The Grand Inquisitor Scene from Fyodor Dostoevsky's "The Brothers Karamazov"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om6HcUUa8DI

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Posted by: presleynfactsrock ( )
Date: July 27, 2019 05:38PM

I personally hope Jesus is somewhere in a hippie universe with his hippie friends enjoying life because he sure deserves this. I mean, after all, he worked hard to get people thinking about some very important stuff, so I tend to think he has earned lots of jolly universe-time hanging out doing whatever in the hell he wants to do.

Did he ever take time to surf on the Dead Sea? No, he just walked. Now how fun is that? (maybe it is since I for sure have not mastered it to know) Did he ever try sky diving or ride or fly a helicopter? How about just having lots of down time lying on a beach with his girlfriend of the time, with her in a sexy bathing suit, and him, well, as naked as the day he was born if he felt like it.

Now, on the other side of the coin you might be thinking that Jesus should be much busier this day and age fighting that brother of his-SATAN-or you might be thinking that he should be in big trouble for causing religious wars and terrible deaths for years and years and more years. I grant you, it is something to think about.

However, I tend to think, you know, after trying to think a lot, that Jesus most likely was a hot-head revolutionary who was sick and tired of the status quo. Did he have goals for himself that might be considered self-serving or grandiose? Who knows? Not me, that's for sure.

And, that Satan guy. Well, I personally think, you know again, trying to think a lot, I think he grew out of men's imagination....you know, we humans need to blame someone or something on why there is evil and masturbation and porn and on and on and on in this here amazing, but puzzling world of ours.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: July 27, 2019 06:45PM

presleynfactsrock Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> And, that Satan guy. Well, I personally think,
> you know again, trying to think a lot, I think he
> grew out of men's imagination....you know, we
> humans need to blame someone or something on why
> there is evil and masturbation and porn and on and
> on and on in this here amazing, but puzzling world
> of ours.


As I said on another thread (did u get the memo?):
Satan's 'real name' is Stan, Stan is a woman (she was the temptres in the Garden, after all!!)

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Posted by: presleynfactsrock ( )
Date: July 28, 2019 02:47AM

I love this thread and its great, pressing question of "Where's Jesus?'

I think it is THE question to bring up to religious people. Yes, I can (I think) hear your response of what these religious people will reply. They will reply:

***Jesus must lay low because this world is a test to see what we are made of and if we will follow Him and, drum roll, CHOOSE THE RIGHT.

***That Satan guy does not have to follow those rules of laying low. In fact, he seems to have been given the freedom to lay high, low and medium....to be all over the world, and given the go-ahead to have a hay-day giving people endless diseases and heartaches and all the damn trouble he pleases.

***What was God thinking? I mean, it is widely touted that He is all powerful, so he then must be able to bend the rules, break the rules, and well, make NEW AND BETTER just rules if he so chooses. Even if he made the ridiculous rules of Jesus and Satan's role on this earth, couldn't he, wouldn't he, see how they were NOT working out well, nor fair, nor kind, nor loving,and quickly change them? Where is HE? This God that would act like this?

Did he fall to sleep on the job? Is he busy on other universes?
It seems to me that he forgot to check up on this earth and his children he supposedly loves. He forgot to check up on Jesus too.

Anyway, that is my Ex-Mormon opinion of which I am proud and stand behind, and not very humble about.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/28/2019 02:53AM by presleynfactsrock.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 28, 2019 03:38AM

I am proud to be ignorant of religious truths.

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Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: July 28, 2019 05:39AM

Jesus is behind the scenes doing the dirty jobs that make life possible for the rest of us. Landscaping, construction, house cleaning. He traded in his cross for a leaf blower.

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