...I won't give away the rest of it, but I found this to be a very interesting, well-written essay with a few surprises. Lately, I seem drawn to reading almost everything I see online about taking up running (probably as a way to put off having to actually start running!). Anyway, I think the Mormon connection here will prove interesting to more than a few folks at RFM:

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/how-running-ruined-my-relationship-killed-my-faith-and-saved-my-life?utm_source=pocket-newtab

Good article. It's rather a nice crossover meditation on Mormonism and running. Grad school had a similar effect on me, although my school was nothing like Yale. But I had a program coordinator who thought that we could never possibly do enough work. It was always more, more, more. In retrospect, it was a good introduction to the teaching profession.

The phrase that her therapist used, "addicted to suffering," is an interesting one. I wonder how many Mormons feel deep inside that they don't deserve any better than to be a member of a church that can never get enough time, energy, labor, and money out of them. Perhaps the exmo process is a large measure of deciding that you deserve better than that.

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wonder how
> many Mormons feel deep inside that they don't
> deserve any better than to be a member of a church
> that can never get enough time, energy, labor, and
> money out of them.

Or maybe they believe suffering makes them superior to those who don't. Look at me, I have so many difficult things to deal with all the time, without complaining, and I'm still here. I must be stronger."

Life in mormonism was all about suffering for me. Always. I have to force myself to allow myself to be happy, to do things for myself, to not allow people to walk all over me.

And I also worry about going that "far down" again, too, but I never admitted myself to a psych facility as I type those reports and I know what those psych wards are like. My therapist swore he'd never put me in one. I didn't run, but I walked. That is when I healed. I do better when I'm walking more than just walking my dogs, but at least I go out and walk them every day and it takes everything in me to go. I found it really interesting reading about putting on her running clothes. I've often thought that putting on my walking shoes and tying them was too much work and it would stop me from going.

But it was walking at the track after I finally had time for myself that I realized I no longer believed. I'd cuss at God and ask him why my life was like it is.

I was going to say I didn't have to worry about the guilt about sex. Wrong. I made sure I didn't do anything including French kissing with the nonmormon guys I dated. They respected my limits. I didn't want to talk to a bishop about sex. And then when they assigned my gay boyfriend to french kiss me, I felt guilty for french kissing and anything we did, which wasn't much at all as I was too afraid of taking to a bishop, which I was doing anyway "to learn to get him turned on to a woman." I've said it before, they were destroying me. I had to get them out of my life and we got married.

Now I don't worry about that thankfully. I'm an adulteress and I do wear the badge with pride. I was the good little truly mormon virgin girl and it just fucked up my life.

What she wrote was very therapeutic. Thank you!

cl2, I'm glad you enjoyed the essay. Like you,if it weren't for my dogs I probably wouldn't even go on a walk most days, so I am grateful to have them as motivation. Yesterday, my big dog starting running after a jogger who passed us (running after him in a friendly way, I should add), so maybe he's trying to tell me something. :-) I need to step it up!

i guess i missed it. i didn't see the connection between running and leaving the mormon church.

It took me years to recover from the guilt around sex that I’d been brainwashed with. I’m not sure I’ll ever be 100% recovered but it is great to be free from that BS.
A slightly different take on running is that I remember exercise like that was a way to stay chaste in the Morg. I did that and it was encouraged. But funny enough I’ve done more running since leaving and it’s just for enjoyment. Like everything else, things generally and life itself is just enjoyable once you leave. Mormonism is complete and utter misery. It takes a lot to realise it though.

There isn't misery in the gospel it just seems like it was hard for you to follow in the steps of the gospel, your misery was founded no where near it

Read here long enough and you'll find out that the people on this board were the most devout mormons you'll find. As my exmormon therapist tells me, we both tested mormonism to its limits and it failed us.

UNTIL YOU HAVE LIVED OUR LIVES, don't tell us we were lazy about living the lds church. I was the most devout in my family. My parents used to argue about whose fault it was I left. I still have people say they don't believe I don't believe as they all came to me for support in their testimonies and I've been out for 25 years.

I never had a problem with any sexual sin, but they sure messed with my head asking me at age 12 if i masturbated (and I'm female). I didn't know what masturbatoin was until I was 25 and I was dealing with a gay boyfriend and the bishop told me to keep track of his masturbation habits as if we could get him to stop masturbating, we could change him to straight and so I asked my boyfriend what masturbation was. I had never french kissed until that same bishop assigned my boyfriend to french kiss me and not tell me, but my boyfriend knew what I was like and told me. The bishop kept giving us assignments and I refused to do them, but the bishop kept telling me that this is what we had to do, prove that he coudl be turned on by a woman and as long as we didn't have intercourse, he would give me a TR. I still refused. I told him 2 wrongs didn't make a right.

So now I've been separated from my gay husband for 23 years and I'm in a long-term relationship with an old boyfriend for 15 years and I have sex with him, so I'm an 'adulteress.' Now judge me.

The mormon church caused me nothing but pain and my parents and my whole family agreed. Mormon friends still tell me, but you did it all correctly and look what happened to you.

If you are going to make statements like you just did (and I've reported it), you need to go away.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/28/2019 11:34AM by cl2.

I don't understand your selected board name. "Member" - "but still trying": Still trying to do what? Stay? Leave?

Defence of the Mormon faith is not allowed on this site. Ordinarily posts like yours are deleted. Giving you the benefit of the doubt, I will leave yours up, for now. You have received some good, and gentle, responses. I suggest you read them.

Please do not post any more posts defending Mormonism. If you do I will delete all of your posts. If you have questions, feel free to ask, if you really want answers.

Member but still trying Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>> There isn't misery in the gospel it just seems like it was hard for you to follow in the steps of the gospel, your misery was founded no where near it

The gospel was around for 1800 years before the Mormon faith came along. The Mormons did not invent "the gospel." There are churches where you can go for an hour or so each week, donate perhaps 1-3% of your income, and volunteer only if you wish. Those churches work very well for those who wish to practice Christianity. They don't need the high-demand Mormon faith to do it.

And yes, hard as it is to believe, there are plenty of people who have been made miserable by your particular branch of Christianity. Why wouldn't they be miserable? The LDS church never gets enough of their time, money, and talents. The members are often harsh and judgmental of them. Untrained bishops ask ridiculous, invasive questions of them.

And don't even get me started on your founder, Joseph Smith, who was as immoral a man as was ever made. In an age (1850) when the average first age of marriage for women was 23 (data courtesy of the NIH,) he was having illicit sexual relations with 14, 15, 16, and 17 year old girls. Just because he called it "plural marriage" doesn't mean it was legal, moral, or ethical. He sent faithful men on missions and had sex with their wives! And you excuse such filth. Your "standards" are not very high, are they? Joseph ordered the destruction of the Nauvoo Expositor newspaper that tried to notify the community about his so-called "polygamy." That printing press was worth thousands of dollars and represented someone's livelihood, and someone's desire to expose the simple truth. So Joseph also engaged in destruction of property. And you support this. So much for your "standards."

This board is for people to process their experience in your church and come to terms with it. If you are happy with your church, then go to church and be happy. But leave these good people in peace.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/28/2019 04:17PM by summer.

There is no brainwashing people have a choice in the matters
If we were brainwashed wouldn't it be a cult?
Was there any bad inflicted on others physically or mentally?
Nope

This is a recovery from mormonism board--not a missionary tool for you. Stay here long enough and you'll be out, too. I would have never shown up on a board like this when I was mormon. I'll be reporting this message, too.

P.S. IT IS A CULT



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/28/2019 11:36AM by cl2.

> There is no brainwashing
> people have a choice in
> the matters


Hahahahahahaha!


When a parent stands behind a five-year-old, whispering in the kid's ear, "now say, 'I know Joseph Smith was a prophet'..." that is brainwashing.

It's the same brainwashing that has a kid believing in Santa Claus on the day he's baptized and receives the Holy McGhost, except that it's a lot easier to believe in Santa Claus.

Well the thing about brainwashing is if you’re brainwashed, you won’t know, will you? Think about it.
Why are we suddenly getting mormons on the site? Not seen this before. Thank you to those that have defended the attack on my comments.

Normally TBM responses are promptly deleted. I think the mods are letting us vent for a little bit of time in this particular case. No worries. :)

This is what brainwashing does to you:

A member leaves the church and emails everyone in the ward to explain in very clear terms his reasons for leaving. A member sees him in a local shop and stays away because she thinks he has been possessed by the devil, or at least has lost the Holy Spirit. She is scared.

The same woman is currently living off lds welfare because having paid her tithing she can’t afford to by food for her family. It feels wrong to be taken round the supermarket by an older woman she barely knows, being told what she can and cannot buy, rather than being given the money for herself. It’s humiliating but she wants to stay temple worthy. The bishop tells her she must find a husband in order to go to the celestial kingdom and in order to do that she must remain temple worthy.

The same woman has masturbated a handful of times. Each time she confesses to the bishop who is a married man several years older. It’s embarrassing and humiliating but she does it to be obedient. He tells her that in order to be forgiven she has to put her life in order. This includes doing more on her calling, reaching out to the parents of the man who abused her for four years and having them round for dinner. She must do all of this in addition to being a single parent, working a full time job and attending college. She is told she must attend YSA events and date as many worthy men as possible. No mention is made of how to be a good mother or of her own personal wellbeing.

The above woman is me.
The above treatment of me is ABUSE.
I put up with it because I BRAINWASHED.
I also treated others badly and was judgmental, just as the Mormons appearing here are doing. This is what brainwashing does to you.
We are all here because we know this. Why anyone else would bother coming here is beyond me.

I'm glad that you are speaking out, lj12. It is important to recognize abuse and to call it out. Your story will help others who are questioning or exiting the Mormon church.

Member but still trying: You are not a member of a religion; you are a member of a BUSINESS/CULT that masquerades as a religion.
You probably believe the Book of Mormon to be true; let me present you with a few facts that prove it is not true.
My husband is from South America. He was educated in the capitol of the country. The Book of Mormon talks about horses, chariots, etc. The Incas didn't know what a horse was until Pizarro and his men showed up. Horses did not exist in South America prior to his invasion.
A few years ago, DNA scientists from BYU went to Peru, Bolivia, and Central America. They tested 6,000 Inca descendants in Peru and guess what? NOT ONE of THEM had Hebrew DNA; every one of them had ASIAN DNA. Same results in the other countries where they tested DNA.
There were no such crops as Barley.
Ask any professional ship builder about the possibility of wooden submarines surviving a year long voyage across the ocean from the Middle East to South America (Jaredites).
There are so many more facts, but these are just a few from someone who was born and raised in South America.