I was trying to be funny in another thread and it occurred to me that I didn't know enough about the subject to really be certain what I was typing was funny... (hahaha! Like that's ever stopped me!)

Joseph and Mary were betrothed when Elohim met Mary on the road to her cousin's, Elizabeth, whom Mary was visiting to congratulate her for finally getting knocked up, with John the Baptist as her prize. So Elohim does the ceremony and 'knows' Mary (KnowsMary's Baby!) and she is pregnant with Jesus.

An Angel appears to Joseph, Mary's fiancé, with the really, really, really great news, "Hey, ghawd has knocked up your fianceé, but it's for a good cause!", which of course makes Joseph all warm and cuddly.

But he does the right thing, and raises Jesus like Jesus was his very own demi-ghawd offspring!

But then what happened to Joseph? Where is he, what do we know of him after Jesus starts selling really essential oils, the kind you need to get into heaven? Was Joseph a Republican, Democrat, Green Party or a GDI? Or whatever the corresponding divisions were called back then... What did he think of his adopted son's message and methods?

And where was he, Joseph, the Friday night before Easter? When Jesus cried out the thread title, was he talking to his dad, little 'd', or his Dad, big 'D'? Did Jesus even really know Big Dad? There's no mention of Jesus and Elohim meeting for coffee, etc. The 40 day fast in the desolate wilderness could have held daily visits with Elohim, with catered goodies and beach umbrellas...

Did Jesus ever complain to Joseph, "You always liked your own kids better!"

The Gospel requote of Ps 22 is "My God, my God, why..." so your misquote as "father" is a misstep.

Thank you for keeping me humble, or as Saucie says, humpable.

I have restored the lost phrase from that Bible thing.

"My God, My God, Why hast thou forsaken me? Haha. Good one no? I know being tortured and sacrificed was the whole point of my mission and we have to do this, but I just wanted to whine a little, God. Give the whole thing some drama."

Really. If Jesus dying for our sins was the whole point, why IS he whining at the last minute and hoping for a stay?

Now. In Luke 22:42 Jesus asks 'Father' this time to take "this cup away" from him. He clearly wanted to get out of the whole deal. Not very god-like if you ask me. Or, perhaps he was talking to Joseph this time and was finished with his cocoa?

Thank you for restoring my faith in myself with that last paragraph. Arriba los de abajo!

Another masterpiece mi Vida.

My God, why hast thou foreskinned me?

hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahaha.

Bwa hahaha ha. OMG

He probably had nothing but contempt for Joseph, who became the most famous cuckold in all history.

Jesus wrote a book about it, titled: "My Sniveling Stepfather, the Cuck!"

(It's now buried somewhere in the desert, waiting to be found. But it was a hit with a lot of the reading clubs back when Jesus was alive and for a few years after that.)

But that's neither here nor there. What's really important to know is that Sky Daddy responded to Jesus's complaint and Mary Magdalene even wrote down the response. But for some reason, she could never get it published.

Apparently Sky Daddy's voice was heard right after Jesus finished his "I'm so forsaken" rant.

Sky Daddy said: "Stop you're whining. You've always known that this was never going to be anything more than one bad weekend for you and that you'd be back in perfect condition on Monday, with more superpowers than before. Tele-transportation, immortality, lightning bolt throwing....and all the other good stuff, not to mention being back in the lap of luxury in the CK. It's not like you have to live for decades as the 'Elephant Man' or have some other freakish disease to suffer for decades."

Then Jesus replied: "Da~a~d! I know! We're putting on a show here, remember?? This whole 'why o why hast thou forsaken me?' thing is part of the act."

I guess they eventually got to Mary Magdalene and that's why these things never made it into the Bible.

He may have spent Friday night wasted. Jesus knew what was coming so he did his water into wine trick with some extra mojo. “Here dad, you’re gonna want to drink this.”

Bwahahahah...Oh my God...ya'll are going to hell. But wait, carry on, Jesus fixed all that. Never mind.

Jesus died for you. Make His sacrifice worth it!

Well damn...that was nice of him.

the jesus stories just keep on getting better and better.

Then it's no wonder that Jeebus showed up in such a rage on his mission to America.

As if the nailholes which followed his serious thrashing weren't enough to really piss him off, it turns out he had serious abandonment issues with his pop.

Maybe Jeebus was racist? I hate to say it, but he cursed them with dark skin, then when the Native American Indians (ala "Lamanites") didn't have anything to do with the crucifixion whatsoever, he brought a shock and awe campaign down on them - and they were completely innocent. You would think would have done that to the folks in Jerusalem, but no, he picked on minorities. Jeebus may be racist, he was always talking about making them white and delightsome in the BOM.

Some say that jesus is still talking to this day.