Where we are born largely does impact our happiness. Aside from the few exceptions, people born into extreme poverty will struggle to break free from the cycle. This has an impact on happiness and fulfillment. It's complicated by other social influences too, like race, gender, appearance, disabilities, education, parental job status, and luck. If one is born into a bad neighborhood or a bad part of town, then this complicates their chances of long-term happiness. Achieving happiness and fulfillment is definitely impacted by where someone lives and how they are raised.
I think it partly depends on it. If you live somewhere that you hate, you’re hardly going to be completely happy. Luckily we are not trees, and we can move.
I've never seen happiness as a state of being. I think constance is possible with a state of contentment. But real happiness is like a a beautiful swallowtail butterfly that only lands here and there now and then, fans its wings to enchant and flutters off. If that bit of dazzlement were there in perpetuity there would be nothing striking, and, immunity to the beauty could set in to the point where we might start swatting them.
For instance, I had some very happy times while serving the arduous mission. I had some extremely happy times while at the spiritually oppressive BYU. Not the best settings, but there were some moments . . .
My happiness has not come from a perfect setting. Rather comes from triumphing and rising above an imperfect environment. Rising from the ashes? To applause, even. Although sometimes you have to clap your own hands.
No highs, no lows, just level. I have lived in the same place (other than about a year in Colorado, but coming home once a month) for 33 years, in this house. I had some really bad years here and I wanted to sell. I hated this house during that time. It owned me, not the other way around. My 'ex' didn't want to sell and my kids didn't want to move, so I felt trapped. I almost left a few times.
Now, I love my house. I'm so glad I hung on. I LOVE my yard and it just "happened" as I had no money and so I used what was free. I got to do what I wanted to it as my ex is a horticulturist and he always killed anything I planted as he didn't like anything, but then he wasn't living here for a lot of years so he didn't get to have a say. Now that I've had some money, I've been able to fix up the house. I just got done painting some more of the outside. I do some every summer.
I find peace in my house. Even if I live in Utah and the mormons can be a pain, for the most part, I really like my neighborhood and even living in little Hyrum, Utah, where few people know me. AND NOT in Brigham City where I grew up.
Life has turned out really well considering where I've been even in Utah.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2019 12:03PM by cl2.
I once saw a photo essay that contrasted two images. One was an image of exhausted, impatient and even angry people lining up at a Toys R Us just before Christmas. Their carts were full of toys. The other image was of a large Mongolian (maybe Tibetan) family huddled in an oil-skin tent. Their possessions were minimal, their faces serene.
The essay’s point was instantly recognized and inevitable. No commentary was offered or needed.
I heard a story recently about a billionaire, mind you, that had purchased his own island in the Virgin Isles, plus many other residences. He had so much money, power, and fame. He was in to art work. He had a harem of women, if you will. Yet, he offed himself recently in prison. I don't think he was happy.
Happiness depends on many factors: Where you live of course (I wouldn't want to live in Provo, and would love to live in Hawaii next to the beach), loved ones near you, good health, great past times, and a love of life.
I assumed because perhaps a lot of ex-mormons will be facing life still living in Utah. Personally I couldn’t stand going there again even for a few days, so I can understand the question. I absolutely hated Utah when I visited there, and it contributed in a small way to me exiting the cult. For me, my surroundings really do affect me. I have learnt to be as happy as possible in some places, including where I am now, which have been in various ways, not completely positive, and sometimes bad. But personally I need peace, space and no people invading my privacy. For that reason, as soon as I save enough money, I will be outta here. And frankly, sometimes a fresh start does you the world of good. As does travelling. I can’t wait.
Hey Pumpkingirl, I was sort curious after reading your post on the dead horse, are you still a Mormon by chance? No biggy if you are, all are welcome on this forum. I was just curious what brings you here? Have you left or are you leaving Mormonism?
I had read you other post about the deceased horse, which also, like this current post, seems poetic and philosophical in nature,
"If you bury him in this spot, the secret of which you must already have, He will come to you when you call- Come to you over the far, dim pastures of death, And though you ride other, living horses through life, they shall not shy at him, nor resent his coming. For he is yours and he belongs there.
People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, Who hear no nicker pitched too fine for insensitive ears.People who never really love a horse. Smile at them then, for you shall know some thing that is hidden from them, And which is well worth knowing."
Interesting question/thought. It's certainly a factor, has to be. Like salt in a stew.
Location happiez may depend on whether it reinforces the "who-I-am-ness" and so whether there is a sense of belonging-ness, societal fit. So, TBM sis won't leave Utah because it reinforces her sense of "who I am;" for another who craves freedom of thought, Utah is intolerable. For some, life in the military is comforting because there are no decisions to be made, one feels safely held (and retirement is crisis); for others it feels like being crushed (and leaving is a bird uncaged). Same outfit. Only the people are different.
We all know those who hate whatever we love. Some hate flying. Others can't wait. Some love learning. Others hate the learned. Some love the city; others cannot wait to leave.
I think ultimately it depends in what prison of mind we choose to live. So: work. Same job, same pay scale - some gripe constantly, others are cool. If we live in the 1st world we've got it made (time in a 3rd world combat zone will convince). When consider the miracle of what we are experiencing, right now - on a blue sphere orbiting a star, trapped in unbelievably complex bodies made of materials forged through countless stars, able to consider the whole before us - how is it are we not in ecstacy
Excellent observations. I know people who adore living in the city, whereas that would be hell to me. Yes, the miracle of life on Earth and the universe is such that we should be more in awe of this. However, if you live in terrible conditions, I can say from experience, that this seems irrelevant. I don’t think you can be happy if you live in intolerable conditions. Of course, as you say, what is intolerable is (at least to some extent) different for different people.
I want to move there, but is it true there are spiders everywhere, like you even have to check your car and shoes, before using them? Heaven is a place on Earth - but there are spiders. I wouldn’t sleep at night I’m so scared of them.