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Posted by: GregS ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 09:20AM

Yesterday, my wife's sister stopped by to pick up some stuff she had loaned my wife. No sooner had she gotten in the door, she asked, "Have you been watching the General Conference?"

My wife said that she only watched the Sunday session, but was going to go back and watch Saturday's later.

"There was a big announcement on Saturday," my SIL exclaimed breathlessly. "We haven't seen it yet ourselves, but my husband saw something about it on Facebook. They've disbanded the Young Men's program! Do you know what this means? We think the latter days are upon us!"

I asked, "Should I check my ammunition now, or will I have time to find the announcement and see what was actually said?"

Being used to my humor and lack of belief, my SIL gave me a half-smile to acknowledge my jest, but said, "You laugh, but we aren't called 'Latter-day Saints' for nothing. The end times will on us before we know it, and it will be only the ones who are prepared who will survive."

"You do realize that 'latter day' only means 'modern', and not 'last days'; so, I don't think we need to get ahead of ourselves," I noted.

"Well, you watch the announcement and then determine for yourself how serious it is. We're already prepared, and you already know that both you and my sister are welcome to seek refuge with us should the worst happen."

Well, I did find Cook's announcement, and he said nothing about the end times. Looking up a more detailed explanation on the internet revealed that the whole thing is nothing more that an organizational change the flattens the ward and stake org charts. And though the Young Men presidencies have been disbanded, Bishops now have "Specialists" to assist them and who will be doing pretty much whatever it was the Young Men presidents were doing before.

Much ado about nothing.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 09:23AM

able to understand. I'm 62. For sure, the end was going to happen in 2000. Well, I hoped it would, but I knew it wouldn't.

Many mormons are forever looking for a sign, which they are taught not to do.

Now with the announcement about the special GC coming in April, there will be SO MANY rumors going around about what is going to happen in April. Hell, they gave them too much time to come up with ideas. For sure, the end is coming in April 2020.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/07/2019 09:24AM by cl2.

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 05:08PM

I saw a program early on new years day 2000 on a local Christian television station.

It was a recorded program telling all of us unworthy people left behind how we needed to repent, how to avoid the anti christ and exactly what the rapture was.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 05:16PM

I learned the hard way that there were very few if any members that gave a damn about my emotional or spiritual needs. I was told that I should be ashamed to expect the church to assist me. I was told to count my blessings. There were more people in my area that were more deserving. I was told to bug my family and stop bothering church leaders.

Guess that I was overtly selfish, but I wanted the end to come in 2000. I don't know what hurt more: losing sentimental objects or being told to pound sand by the church.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/07/2019 05:16PM by messygoop.

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Posted by: Ted ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 09:52AM

Funny story. I can relate, since I have had many apocalyptic conversations with my own family. Mormonism is an apocalyptic death cult, which is how the cult leaders have controlled their followers via fear and death. Problem is that when the "end times" have failed to come, they have shifted in recent years to downplay this. For example, they build malls which seems inconsistent to Jesus is coming around the mountain stance. I recall leaders of recent indicating the "end times" won't be for awhile.

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Posted by: GregS ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 10:06AM

I'm a nevermo, but in the seven years I've been married to my Mormon wife, I've noted that there has to be some conditioned code words among the faithful. This announcement being the latest example of how the faithful are conditioned to interpret the most innocuous of announcements as apocalyptic.

Every six months, right around GC time, I've been conditioned myself to expect another round of apocalyptic ponderings and promptings by my Mormon in-laws.

Nothing ever comes of it, but that's never stopped them.

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Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 10:10AM

Or they’re pretty sure Jesus will need Birkenstocks and Raybans. And maybe a gold chain with a little cross on it.

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Posted by: Devoted Exmo ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 10:04AM

They get so breathless and gleeful at anything they can point to that indicates a change, which, of course, indicates the coming apocalypse. Any change can be the signal. Anything at all!

It's all so exciting! No more drudgery! No more enduring to the end! The end is nearly here!!!!!

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Posted by: gemini ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 10:40AM

NO more cleaning toilets! praise jesus!

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 10:12AM

Dialogue back in the 1990s that the women were leaving their husbands in the early days of the church to be sealed to GAs so they had a ticket to the CK as "the end was near."

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Posted by: kingherodcosell ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 10:21AM

Brain washing in the cult is amazing isn’t it?

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Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 11:05AM

It’s hard to believe unless you’ve lived it. I wonder how many MORMONS would kill themselves if the prophet ordered it.

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Posted by: Afraid of the Boogie Brethren ( )
Date: October 08, 2019 12:15AM

I remember the fanatic I was at my one year at byu....I announced that I would shave my head if the profit wanted me to....SWK. We need to remember how we were when dealing with tbms...agree or not?

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Posted by: wondering ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 10:24AM

Could be. The Latter Day Saints will be the few that don’t leave the cult. There could be a handful that just refuse to accept the truth. It doesn’t mean the end of the would, just the end of the mormon church.

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Posted by: Eric K ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 10:33AM

A vocalist, who occasionally sings with my band, had a neighbor who built a bunker to survive the year 2000. She told me that her neighbor and his wife emerged about 2 weeks after the world did not end. I wanted to interview these survivalists, but she mentioned it was probably not a good idea. The end of the world is always at hand.

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Posted by: sbg ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 04:38PM

The company I worked for made everyone in IT work overnight on 12/31/99 to make sure all the systems stayed up. We had done so many program changes that there were a few things that had not been tested as much as we probably should have......

When everything worked, we were sent out back by the lake and the company shot off fireworks.

Before that we had dinner, drinks, etc while we were monitoring systems. Once the fireworks were done we could all go home and got 1/2/00 off as comp time.

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 07:49PM

At the beginning of 1999, I was offered a bonus of 50% of my annual salary if I signed an agreement to stay past 1/1/2000. I only had to make a very few coding changes during the year, and I was more than happy to collect my check once Y2K came and went without any problems.

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Posted by: gemini ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 10:41AM

My sister is probably wishing she had kept that covered wagon she bought back in the 70's. hehe

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 11:35AM

I spent the weekend with my wife and she never watched conference. There was Saturday afternoon when I took our bikes to the shop and Sunday morning yoga so she "could" have watched it.

Should I ask her?

Nah, I'm just glad we had a great weekend with her and she missed at least 2 sessions.

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 11:46AM

When you live in a kiddie pool, you get all excited about a tiny ripple...

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Posted by: decultified ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 12:55PM

Mormons don't understand their own doctrine. Here are some things that are supposed to happen prior to Mormageddon. These are from Bruce R's "Mormon Doctrine":

- "Lamanites to blossom as the rose" (D&C 49:24). They don't ever talk about Lamanites any more, who are now merely "among the ancestors of the American Indians."

- "The gathering at Adam-ondi-Ahman." This is supposed to be a super gigantic General Conference of all the prophets throughout history, including Adam, Noah, Isaiah, Lehi, Nephi, Joseph Smith, etc. all schmoozing together. Millions, if not hundreds of millions, are expected to participate, but will somehow still be kept a secret from the world at large.

- "Ten Tribes to return." From whatever hole in the ground they've been hiding in for 2700 years.

- A temple in Jackson County. They don't own the land, and they fully know that if this temple were ever actually built, the Jesus expectations would be so high that the inevitable disappointment would be disastrous for their long-term profit projections. IMO they wouldn't dare to try this except as a desperate last-ditch gamble.

- A mormon temple to be built in Jerusalem. Good luck with that.

- The two mormon prophets/apostles to be slain in Jerusalem. Won't be Nelson. When he visited there, he ran at the first sign of trouble. A real profile in courage, that one.

The leaders have been predicting the end since the beginning. Always wrong, so they were only predicting as men, of course. But this one is totally legit. /s

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 07:35PM

And then there was, I believe, Packer, who spoke in a Conference maybe around 2011 in which he seemingly was speaking as a prophet when he told those assembled that the youngest there that day would live to see their grandkids.

  Here's a link to LDSliving's article on it and there's a link within the article to the conference talk - - in which the church admits he said:

  "Sometimes you might be tempted to think as I did from time to time in my youth: 'The way things are going, the world’s going to be over with. The end of the world is going to come before I get to where I should be.' Not so! You can look forward to doing it right — getting married, having a family, seeing your children and grandchildren, maybe even great-grandchildren."

Of course, being who they are, they will allow the sheep to mill about, following any will-o'-the-wisp they care to. Because it's not about where they are going, it's about the lifestyle the GAs maintain as they ride herd on their flock.

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Posted by: sb ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 05:38PM

Sign-seeking has become 30% of what keeps these people in. ANYTHING is proof that it is TRUE!

My wife and I have an ongoing joke every time something happens:

I got upgraded to first class! she responds: the church is true

a Gap store closed near our house, I say: the final days are here!

it's funny and sad that to distract themselves from the cognitive dissonance, they turn their confirmation bias into an all consuming hunt for signs.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 06:09PM

God is slowing closing The Gap to the end of the world.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: October 08, 2019 01:40AM

(Retail) wars, and rumors of wars!

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Posted by: PollyDee ( )
Date: October 08, 2019 12:53PM

Haha... clever!

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: October 07, 2019 07:42PM

"ANYTHING is proof that it is TRUE!"

Haha. Truest thing ever said. There is nothing that Mormons are unable to turn into a faith promoting experience. Even the church's unraveling is proof it is true.

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Posted by: sb ( )
Date: October 08, 2019 01:33PM

SO true and since the new guy came in it is both: a sign of the end times and that it is true!

Last night my wife and I were discussing this gain after my comment and she told me she got a raise she has deserved for years. My response was that we need to get our maps to Missouri updated, the end is near!

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