Please don't make me eat a turkey dinner with these people present.

My niece got mad at me when I asked to please not interup when my sister was answering a question I had asked her (my sister).

My niece who is in her 30s told me to fuck off an left the table crying.

That was pretty cool.

This is exactly why I live more than 1000 miles from most of my extended family.

The worst thing that happened under the Barnum circus tent is that my son, who recently turned 21, was hitting the alcoholic beverage selection too hard and fast, and I warned him to slow down. He thought I was helicoptering and told me he knew his limitations just fine thanks.

I said okay and didn't waste time reminding him that he's been prone to severe bouts of hiccups all his life, a trait that he inherited from me. When I was his age I discovered that one of the most potent hiccup triggers for me is drinking too much or too fast. Shrug. Some things have to be learned by experience so two beers later as he hiccupped his way all through dinner I could see the understanding dawn that Mom isn't entirely fill of manure and though we didn't discuss it further, he did stick to water afterwards.

That was as awkward as it got, fortunately. No TBMs, no sociopathic parents or passive aggressive siblings or cousins or whatnot. I have decided this is how I roll for feast days of any kind from now on.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/30/2019 04:27PM by ptbarnum.