Posted by:
Exminion
(
)
Date: December 20, 2019 02:26AM
Please, I'm warning you, stay away from Mormon groups.
As a divorced person, you will be marginalized at best, probably disrespected, and shunned at the worst.
Seek out happy ex-Mormons and non-Mormons. When I was first divorced, I was called to be "Co-chairman of the Regional LDS Singles." I did all the work, but I had to have a token priesthood-holder co-chairman, to give our leadership "authority." We laughed, because I made all the decisions. He helped out a lot, though, and was the best of the lot, and we dated for several years--even after I left the cult. Only three of us knew he was gay, and even his mother didn't know. She thought we might get married. Because I was in contact with so many singles, I met a ton of people, and made some good women friends. The men were not really functional, and most were seriously flawed--psychopaths, chauvinist woman-haters, men who didn't pay their child support, incarcerated criminals bussed in from the State prison, polygamists looking for more wives, con-men, lots of MLM pushers, male and female "gold-diggers", married people. I have a lot of weird stories that you wouldn't believe, about that group. Finally, I left out of frustration, telling the Regional GA, "I now in my heart that this isn't God's work." Right after that, Mormon headquarters shut down the notorious Monument Park singles ward, because of all the promiscuity and scams. I don't think any of the older-singles wards exist anymore. Trust me, if you are decent, and if you don't want to be stalked and harassed and put in harm's way, you will avoid Mormon singles. It's probably not as bad for the men. Some very strong, feisty women did all right; for example, a social worker, several nurses, a psychologist at the VA, a female doctor, a bus driver, and some wealthy widows who vowed to never marry, stayed pretty safe. I was safe, because my boyfriend was there to watch out for me. You could find a strong friend, and go with him or her--but never to to any of those mixers by yourself.
There's no such thing as a Mormon support-group. The cult meetings are supposed to take care of all your needs. There used to be an ex-Mormon group that met in South Jordan, or somewhere, and there's one in St. George, I think. Other posters will know about these.
I was lucky enough to find a good psychiatrist, to help me with the Mormon abuse, and the resulting PTSD. I was anxious, had low self-esteem, no confidence, and was mildly depressed, when I resigned from the cult. The depression left immediately, and cognitive behavioral psychology helped me overcome anxiety. Leaving the cult and improving at my job and with my children gave me more confidence. I'm still working on the PTSD flashbacks, by avoiding the triggers. Most of the triggers were church-related, so I just stay away from all that. My self-esteem will probably never happen for me, because I never did have that. I never had real unconditional love in my all-Mormon life, until now, with my children and grandchildren and a few old non-Mormon friends.
Give it time. You don't live in a vacuum, so you must meet people, every day. You seem to be overly suspicious of people--and I agree that you have a right to be suspicious of lying Mormons--I am, too. But give good people the benefit of the doubt. The Mormons have taught us that the outside world and the non-Mormons in it are hostile and wicked. You will learn this is one of the biggest Mormon lies of all. The world is full of good, genuine, caring, wonderful people!
You will no longer have to depend on home teachers and priesthood blessings and false promises of welfare help. You have professional fire fighters and EMT's who will save your life, if you need them. There are doctors and nurses and pharmacists and therapists, and all those caring people who want to make your life better. You can find answers to questions on the internet. There are favorite TV characters, authors, movie actors, musicians, performers to cheer us up and entertain us and make us laugh. There are furry pets we can snuggle and talk to, who can be there for us any time day or night. RFM is here all night long, too.
Be friendly with your co-workers, people in your neighborhood, people you see walking their dogs or hiking or at the gym, or whatever you do and wherever you go. Open yourself up to men, as well as women. Like someone said, you don't have to date everyone you talk to.
The Mormon church was never a support system for me. Quite the opposite: it's lies and liars were the source of most of my troubles. Look elsewhere for friendships, love, understanding, and real help. It's out there!