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Posted by: Lafayette ( )
Date: December 12, 2019 03:50AM

One thing I have noticed is that the rate of silly and forced "transactions" has escalated.

There is a increasing degree of humiliation involved.

What is being transacted? Small gestures. Setting aside time doing menial things for each other. Why? To show "love", no no, to show that you still obey every whim. Everybody involved are around 40-60 years of age. All these small transactions are being performed instead of adult people talking with each other about issues or problems. This passive-aggressive tactics have taken a different route since I said NO to one of the siblings.

They do not ask me directly anymore if I would help them because they are afraid I would say No. I would not say no in every issue because I only said no to one individua, I did not say no to the whole family! But they code what I did in their black white-way. I am abandoning them.

The new thing is that they ask another family members at the same time to do more "complex" gestures so that it will be obvious that they deserve a thank you more than I do.

This is very childish. I do not know if I should laugh och cry about this.

I think they need to evolve their mentality.

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Posted by: ptbarnum ( )
Date: December 12, 2019 12:26PM

When they know you're on to the game and have taken the step of not playing, they will flex on you.

Like an overgrown collection of toddlers who "aren't tired" at naptime and want cake for every meal, at there will be an escalation in the tantrum the more you withhold caving in. More noise, more and more attempts to return you to the abusive status quo. Families like this are very much little cults of their own, and you know how cults are about defectors.

Don't cave. You're more mature than they are. Let them point fingers and be nasty, it says volumes about them and nothing about you.

This is their problem. Time for them to cry it out as long as it takes. They apparently missed that lesson in childhood, but it's never too late.

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Posted by: presleynfactsrock ( )
Date: December 13, 2019 04:42AM

The indoctrination pill has been stuffed down their throat and so far they haven't figured out how to barf it up. Don't forget how dangerous, nasty and strong this pill is, causing all sorts of side-affects like the silly charades they are participating in.

The Family/Mormonism connection has been part of this pill for a very long time, along with obedience, obedience, and more obedience. Plus, don't forget that hating apostates is a huge part of the pill-mix they have ingested.

Change can and often does finally arrive from examples they have witnessed; it can be so slow to peak over the horizon, but often, once started, is like a fast-moving hurricane that is impossible to stop.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: December 13, 2019 05:43AM

You can't control what they think or what they do. You can only control yourself. So if a family member asks you for help, evaluate if it's a reasonable request, and if you have the time and capability to do it. Apart from that, whatever they think is not your worry.

For instance, I have a family member who will accompany me to surgical appointments. She will also wait at my house for repairmen on occasion (I work full time and such visits are often difficult for me to schedule.) In return, I cat-sit and look after her house when she is traveling. These are all reasonable requests. A family member who is constantly asking you for things (rides, money, loans, huge gifts, possibly lots of babysitting, etc.) is *not* being reasonable. Ask yourself if there is reciprocity involved, or if the family member is simply using you.

And then let it go. You can't control what they think or how they act. "Not my circus, not my monkeys."

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/13/2019 05:44AM by summer.

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