Russ,

I can see that the church is getting some attention for how it handles the widow's mite via Ensign Peak. I know that I have been critical in the past but maybe I can give you an idea of how to handle this.

1. The church has no investing acccount. Ensign Peak is simply an Anti-Investing-Society".

2. Clearly you didn't know that this was going on. Your lower level assistants, gophers and lackeys manage this detail and you did not endorse this.

3. This is really a rainy day fund and sometimes it rains a lot.

4. We don't like to pay taxes.

5. It is a wicked and adulterous generation that seeketh after a signed statement.

6. It's all just rounding error.

7. We received a revelation just this year saying that we finally have enough money.

8. We make the rules.

9. That was the Mormons. We are the cojcolds.

10. We are really broke and need our members to send more.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 12/20/2019 05:31PM by Lowpriest.

11. Shrug your shoulders and say that that as soon as ghawd reveals what to do with the money, like he's already done, twice, you're more than ready to follow instructions.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/20/2019 05:58PM by elderolddog.

13. This issue was raised by people who had been reading anti mormon literature like the CES letter, the gospel topics essays and the lectures on faith and therefore cannot be trusted.

14. We were only in a holding pattern, and were just about ready to announce some major, significant, and divine charities to disperse this to. There are several that the Lord is indicating will receive, but the time is not right.

15. I don't know that we teach that this is an inappropriate financial model for the Lord's funds. He dictates and where, and we listen and do as He ask - not as man asks. We follow the Lords timeline.

16. Do not feel tempted to criticize the Lord's anointed, for in the last days even the most elect shall fall. This is a test brothers and sisters. Notice the funds have not been spent, but are there for the Lord's bidding as he seeth fit. This has been a test of your faith. A little while long. Have faith.

17. Only a weak member of this church would even question us. Really, how the church does business is none of your business.

And no, we are not renaming The Conference Center to The Croesus Center, though Hugh Nibley would no doubt find the idea amusing.

18. It's God's money--we just manage it.

How dare you give plebian advice to that PURE--HOLY--man.
Thou shalt have 30 lashes with an overcooked noodle!!!

way to make fun of my sex life...

19 "We had to out-bid the Catholics for the Second Coming."

How about: We are getting ready to make amends to all the descendants and Joseph Smith's bank with the money. Paying them back with interest.

20. These are not the droids you are looking for.

Whoever exalts himself will have 100 billion
Whoever humbles himself will have the cult take advantage of

Ya...that's what I read in the bible