when I went through the temple for the first time.
God sees everything, knows everything and knows what's in your heart better than even you do...
BUT you need to learn these handshakes and passwords in order to get into heaven for they are the keys to passing by the angels who guard the gates of heaven and you better not reveal them to anybody else because then evil people will be able to use them to get into heaven even though they are not supposed to get into heaven and that's why you need to agree to be disemboweled and/or have your throat cut and/or have your heart ripped out as punishment if you reveal these secret handshakes and passwords to any outsiders.
[Cue the song "Dizzy": ~ ~ I'm so dizzy ~~ My head is spinning ~~Like a whirlpool, it never ends ~~ And it's Mormon doctrine that make everything spin~~~]
Is LDS Living an official church publication, or is it published independently? That is, who is responsible for the content? I'm beginning to wonder if it is a satirical spoof intended to ridicule Mormon doctrine. May by the people who publish The Onion?
LDS Living Magazine is a division of Deseret Book and is published on a bi-monthly schedule.
LDS Living Magazine is an independent work, and is not an official publication of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The views expressed in the magazine are the responsibility of the various authors and do not necessarily represent the positions of the Church. Contributors include Church members and members of other faiths.
I think LDS Living is set-up to retain members that are on the fringe of leaving, but might be swayed to stay active in the church if they read something like "It's okay to have some concerns, but stick with you what you like." I think it caters to the popular Givens couple who went around lecturing that HF still loves you if you don't believe everything the church is peddling.
I am certain that eventually the website will disappear once LDS Corp determines that it's no longer viable in keeping members in the boat.
"There have to be some opportunities for us to question and doubt. They provide the opposition against which faith can grow and strengthen."
And that's why...you shouldn't be so quick to reject the next e-mail that you get from a Nigerian prince giving you the opportunity to profit greatly by helping him move his large inheritance, using your bank account. The fact that he'll let you keep 10% makes you feel like it's the right thing to do. Everything else is a test of faith.
And that's why...you should definitely sign up with that "Celestial Goop" multi-level marketing program that your ex-roommate from college is urging you to join. You only have to invest $1,000 up front to buy the "Sales Kit" and after that the money will be rolling in. Ignore all those negative reports about Celestial Goop on the Internet and ignore the fact that your ex-roommate who has been a Celestial Goop "premium member" for the past 5 years is currently living in a van down by the river. Those seemingly disturbing "facts" are all stumbling blocks put in your path to test your faith.
So, yeah, you can trust Three-Finger Freddy on that too-good-to-be-true Florida land opportunity. He only sounds and looks like a shady character because God is giving you an opportunity to choose faith instead of giving in to questions and doubts that are only allowed to be placed in your way to help you learn to take those leaps of faith that need to be taken to develop spiritually.
Because we know that God is very powerful and a key feature of God's plan of salvation is to hide evidence so that we can learn to have faith in the plan of salvation. That's why God does not speak directly to us but reveals everything to us through old guys (businessmen, lawyers, retired doctors, lifelong church employees) who become prophets by outliving people who have more seniority in their religious leader hierarchy.
If God spoke directly to us, we would know that it is not really God because God does not speak directly to us and seeks to hide evidence of his existence. The fact that the evidence has been hidden so well is all the proof you need that he exists. Who else could hide the evidence so effectively?
Now...let's talk about that time-share opportunity in Tuamotu that I mentioned earlier. As you can see in this brochure....
I’ve heard that in the first Iraq war, a special microwave device was used to broadcast voices into the heads the Iraqis. The sounds seem to come from inside your head. Allah ordered them to surrender so they did, en mass. With their massive war chest, the church could set up similar technology in the conference center. Then all they need is a guy with a really deep voice to do God, Ten Commandments style.