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Posted by: laperla not logged in ( )
Date: January 08, 2020 04:26PM

"You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.

If not, it can't be helped."

The second line is always left off.

Also, people quoting Shakespeare as the Bible.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: January 08, 2020 04:37PM

"Cleanliness is next to godliness."
"Honesty is the best policy."
"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame."
"Time is money."
"A penny saved is a penny earned."

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: January 08, 2020 04:38PM

...And quoting Dallin Oaks as if he made sense!

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: January 08, 2020 04:59PM

"I don't know we teach that"

What every lds leader should say before delivering their dribble during general conference.

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: January 08, 2020 05:28PM

~ don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen ~

~ people in glass houses, should not sink ships ~

~ a penny saved is worth two in the bush~


in b 4 ~ make ziller's words ~

when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once ~

it's clear who makes the pants in this relationship ~

and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts ~

instead of making a half-harded effort ~

you might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but ziller swears on his mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake ~

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Posted by: laperla not logged in ( )
Date: January 08, 2020 06:19PM


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Posted by: ookami ( )
Date: January 08, 2020 08:06PM

You forgot that one man's garbage is another man person's good ungarbage.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: January 08, 2020 08:21PM


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Posted by: GregS ( )
Date: January 08, 2020 08:14PM

"Wherever you go, there you are."

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: January 08, 2020 08:33PM


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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: January 08, 2020 09:32PM

"No, no, no, don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to."

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 12:52AM

"People Sleep Peacefully in Their Beds at Night Only Because Rough Men Stand Ready to Do Violence on Their Behalf."

Commonly sourced to George Orwell, it seems he picked it up from Kipling. The genesis of it seems to be a Kipling poem:

"I went into a public-‘ouse to get a pint o’beer,
The publican ‘e up an’ sez, “We serve no red-coats here.”
The girls be’ind the bar they laughed an’ giggled fit to die,

O makin’ mock o’ uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an’ they’re starvation cheap;"

Orwell had little use for pacifists. In a 1942 essay, he wrote, "He sees that men can only be highly civilized while other men, inevitably less civilized, are there to guard and feed them." A later writer put the two together, and changed "less civilized" to "rough men."

My source, a fascinating read--as is the entire site:

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/11/07/rough-men/

(Even if the quote is not pure Orwell, it is pure truth!)

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 02:32AM

"Happiness is a made-up word, an attempt to condense the overall contentment of having one's house in order at a given moment in time...or getting laid."

Often misattributed to Judic West, this was originally written by Shakespeare during an unusually prolonged period of marital strife.

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Posted by: Breeze ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 02:39AM

My misguided Mormon mother's quotes that haunt me to this day:

"There are two ways to do things: the right way and the wrong way." The "right way" was HER way, of course.. This would sometimes paralyze me.

"If you laugh at the dinner table, you will cry before you go to bed that night"

Mother also had prophesies and threats, if I wasn't being perfectly obedient: "God will damn you to Hell", "You'll be sorry...." Mom's favorite standby, when I was a pre-teen and a teen: "No man will ever love you."

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 08:37AM

"I am yours.
You are mine.
You are what you are."

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 09:39AM

...and they're not allowed to be within a hundred miles of each other."

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 09:59AM

"It depends upon what the meaning of the word 'is' is."

Attributed to Clinton, but in actuality, was first coined by Joseph Smith.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 12:48PM


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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 10:34AM

"She had blood coming out of her whatever" attributed to Trump but it was originally said about a male when discussing circumcision.

OH NO! Not a circumcision discussion on this board again.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 12:00PM

"Truth is Mormonism. God is the author of it."
Joseph Smith, Jr.

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/joseph_smith_jr_192882

He was obviously misquoted since he used the word "Mormon" in a way that made Satan smile.

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 01:47PM

Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and send money!

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 02:44PM

"If they don't fear you, you're not doing it right..."

  The headline on a Cranky-Pants Dominatrix Training School advertisement, which misquotes Brigham Young's advice to the newly formed Mormon Battalion, when he said, "If they fear you, you're doing it right!"


Fear! Do you dole it out or horde it?

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 02:57PM

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Fear! Do you dole it out or horde it?

Dole for the fruits and Celestial Size for the horde of hosts.

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