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Posted by: harbinger ( )
Date: January 08, 2020 07:41PM

...I have to wonder if my daughter's adoption was even legal. I relinquished her through LDS Social Services in Maryland in 1977. After we found each other (20 years later), we did some digging and discovered that in MD in 1977 it was required by law that a mother relinquishing a child for adoption had to be interviewed *in person* by the presiding judge, to assure there was no coercion, among other things.

I never saw a judge, nor a lawyer, nor a courtroom. LDSSS brought paperwork to the hospital for me to sign hours after the birth, and that was it. They picked her up the next day and I watched them walk out the door with her. She was given to a family who wasn't expecting her, as a "reward" for being high-visibility, tithe-paying TBMs.

Was the adoption legal? Looks like it was not. Not that it makes any difference at this late date. She's back in my life and she's wonderful.

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Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: January 11, 2020 02:29AM

So happy to hear the great ending to your story. There are just so many horror stories about LDS Social Services adoptions. I'm sure they did plenty of illegal things. It was all about getting that baby before the mama changed her mind. One of my close friends found her birth family this past year (through DNA testing). It has also been wonderful for her. I just love these stories.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: January 11, 2020 04:48AM

put her baby up for adoption. She really has never recovered and has left the church.

My sister wanted her daughter to put her baby up for adoption through LDSSS, but her daughter said NO. The bishop was pressuring her, too. This baby is now 22 and my sister and her are SO CLOSE. Her sons both had babies when they weren't married (but did marry the mothers eventually) and my sister has enjoyed having them so much. And here she was opposed to keeping them ALL because they weren't married when they had them. It took a lot of help from her and her husband to raise these kids, but it has been worth it to her. None of my sister's children are mormon and none of her grandchildren are either, though my sister and her husband are still hanging in there, but my sister doesn't believe.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2020 04:49AM by cl2.

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Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: January 11, 2020 04:49AM

When God is on your side, you can do anything. Good reason to be Atheist.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: January 11, 2020 09:52AM

I'm glad that you and your daughter found each other. As a Maryland resident, it doesn't surprise me that the state has protections in place for the birth mothers.

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Posted by: harbinger ( )
Date: January 11, 2020 12:30PM

And that's exactly where this gets interesting. In order for the adoption to be filed with the court, the paperwork would have had to show that the interview with the judge took place. It did not, so it would appear the documents were falsified.

The info on her birth certificate was also falsified, having her born in the wrong town and county. It's my opinion this was done to hinder any efforts on my part to find her later.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: January 11, 2020 12:37PM

That is interesting. The judges that I know in these parts are all straight arrows. I don't see any of them colluding on something like this. So it appears that LDS-SS personnel were up to their usual highjinks. No wonder the church eventually shut down the adoption services -- too much material for lawsuits.

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Posted by: Levi ( )
Date: January 11, 2020 11:37AM

Well, isn't this an interesting thing.

I was adopted by LDS Social Services.....adoptive parents were surprised (I know this because of the physical calendar that exists with "BABY BOY" with a bunch of circles around it on my birthday) with the call and picked me up at 2 days, and that was only because they had to fly from SLC to LA to pick me up.

I don't question the LEGALITY of the adoption, but rather the common sense.

My adoptive mother was 50 and my father 55. Now who the fu-hell would sign off on that? My father had 4 kids from a very complicated previous marriage at the time.

both sides come from somewhat prominent mormon families - I wonder if that played any role in allowing an adoption like that.

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Posted by: harbinger ( )
Date: January 11, 2020 12:38PM

You're right, LDSSS absolutely made procuring HWIs (healthy white infants) for prominent members a priority. Being on the waiting list becomes meaningless when they're doling out babies as rewards.

Having been in contact with other birthmothers who were shuffled through LDSSS, the MO was to farm the pregnant mothers out to LDS families who wanted free childcare and housekeeping. In my case, one parent worked days, the other worked nights, and I was on duty day and night because the parent who was home was sleeping.

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