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Posted by: bspcnot ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 12:55PM

Have Sunday church dress codes been changed other than white shirts required?

Attending my granddaughter's ward for special programs, I usually wear jeans and sometimes a baseball cap.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 12:59PM

I'm against dress codes, dresses, skirts, shirts, Everything!

Yes, you may quote me on that, it's unequivocal .

the church I occasionally attend, Seattle Mennonite, says on its website that clothes must be worn to church, I guess it 'has to be that way'.

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Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: January 11, 2020 02:06AM

The older I get, the more I absolutely detest dresses. In fact, can't remember the last time I wore one. Oh wait, it was this summer when I went to chuch with my mom. I'd forgotten to bring a dress so I mentioned to my sister-in-law that I needed to go shopping and find something. She told me not to worry about it, that there were always people in pants (more transient people than in most mormon churches). I appreciated that she was ok with it, but my mother would have been humiliated and I wouldn't do that to her. I just don't get it. It has nothing to do with modesty--pants are more modest than a lot of the dresses I saw on the younger girls. It's all about misogyny, control and power.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: January 11, 2020 10:31AM

It's a rare day when I'm not in pants, capris, or shorts. I will wear a dress to a wedding or perhaps a skirt on a very hot day. But that's about it. I've worn pants to Catholic funerals and no one has batted an eye.

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Posted by: scmd1 ( )
Date: February 07, 2020 11:34PM

My inlaws tell me that most Catholic parishes have been OK with women wearing pants to mass for more than half a century.

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Posted by: scmd1 ( )
Date: February 07, 2020 11:45PM

I have to go to church next month because my first great-grand-niece is being blessed. I will take note of the clothing worn by the attendees and report back. It's just a single ward sampling, though.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: February 08, 2020 02:19PM

Wear pants and report back! ;D

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Posted by: SCMD not logged in ( )
Date: February 14, 2020 02:11AM

Summer, be real. Why in God's name would I wear pants to a Mormon service? There are so many more exciting garments. I was considering wearing one of my dad's lavalavas.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: February 14, 2020 05:46AM

That's the spirit! lol

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Posted by: Breeze ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 03:54PM

It's more than just "dress codes".

It's what the dress codes represent. It's about their control over you, your obedience, and your recognizing the controllers as being superior to you. (Modesty issues, and serious icons such as yarmulkes or ordained priests' robes are something different, IMO). Sacred underwear is in a class all by itself, at the top of the wierdness scale.

When I resigned from the cult, I threw away all my Mormon skirts and dresses, (and underwear). I never did wear any of those hideous Mormon mom jumpers, even when pregnant. I live in pants, because I have two legs, and I'm very active. At work, pants are best in all weather, with all kinds of shoes and boots, plus they are more modest than shorter suit skirts, sitting down. I have some fun cocktail-type dressy dresses and skirts, for weddings, office parties, etc.

My shelf broke when a Mormon relative died, and I had to speak at her funeral, and felt I had to wear a longer skirt. None of my skirts would work, so I bought a longer black straight-line skirt, that I could dress up or down, and wore the top to my black pants suit, black opaque tights, and black flats for walking to the muddy grave. I was upset that the Mormon dress codes intimidated me, still. My relative was sort of a NOM, but her family are fanatics, but I talked about my relative and her numerous experiences and accomplishments--she was a great and loving person! The other talks blathered on mostly about the church, and even about how my dear relative should have been more religious, should have gotten married in the temple, and how other relatives were going to do her ordinance work for her. Then, there was the final talk by the SP, who didn't even know the deceased, and droned on for 15 minutes all about the Mormon "Plan of Salvation". It was upsetting to me, to know that my dead relative would not have liked this at all.

Afterwards, I got critiques! Why didn't I mention the church? Why did I talk so much about her career as a school teacher, her travels and charity work in the summers, and her friendships (non-Mormon) and not mention that she was a councellor in the Primary? Then, two of my relatives mentioned the slit in my skirt, which went up to below the knee, and how "sexy" it was, in a bad way. Huh? I'm skinny like a bean-pole. They said the skirt was so tight, that I wouldn't be able to walk without the slit. The suit jacket came below my hips, but I actually explained to those women, that the skirt was too lose, and I opened up my jacket to show that I had to wear a belt to hold up the skirt. Suddenly, I realized I was defending myself! I was making explanations and excuses for something unimportant, and perfectly fine--to women who believed in a lying cult, and who believed that I was an evil apostate who wanted to sin, and who was "beneath" them in every way--and I was buying into that! I buttoned my jacket, and said, "I bought this skirt to conform to your dress code, and all you're giving me is criticism," and I politely excused myself from the conversation. Why weren't we talking about the deceased, instead of something so shallow?

Sorry to ramble, but I donated that skirt to the battered women's center, the next day. I will wear only the "fun" skirts, and I won't go anywhere that requires me to wear a skirt. I'm a pants-person, and pants-people aren't welcome. I don't want to be there. Mormons even try to peer at your unerwear! Oh, yes, they do! Just by nature, such a dress code is already pre-juding me as being inappropriate and inferior, in my native costume, and in my business clothes, which are acceptable to the rest of the world.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 04:30PM

My TBM Mom still complains about how cold it is to wear a dress in a chapel. She won't dare ware pants because of the murmuring of the judgmental sisters.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 04:17PM

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Posted by: ravilatterdaysaint ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 06:23PM

shorts and tshirt in california as far as i know.

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: January 09, 2020 09:45PM

just wear a hard hat with a tin foil liner ~

an adult diapers ~

an steel-toe boots ~

you should be fine OPie ~

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 05:38AM

When I drive by other churches on sunday I see people dressed casually and smiling.

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Posted by: stillangry ( )
Date: January 12, 2020 11:19AM

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
> When I drive by other churches on sunday I see
> people dressed casually and smiling.

So much this. Every other church I see, they are wearing shorts and look much happier. Even the Catholics wears shorts to Mass!

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Posted by: Mother Who Knows ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 09:01AM

Speaking of Mormon funerals, I get upset, too, when the cult hyjacks a human being's final goodbye to the world, and their loved ones' final tribute to the--especially when the cult took away so much of their mortal lives,

I had to spend hours trying to find something to wear to a funeral last week. It made me mad, too, that I spent more time trying to please the snarky Mormons, than I did at the actual funeral, honoring my friend.

My normal skirts are all too short for Mormon dress standards, so I borrowed my mother's long coat, and closed the gaps between the buttons, invisibly, with safety pins. Mom offered to sew me into the coat, but we were going to too much trouble, anyway. The coat was very hot, so I wore a lightweight summer dress underneath, and a silk scarf tucked into the collar of the coat.

As a former church organist, I had a wrap-around skirt, to wear in the chapel, so I would be allowed to practice the organ in there. I would tie it on, like an apron, over my pants or shorts, or whatever I was wearing.

We need to start a clothing line of cheap conformity-clothes for ex-Mormons. Better yet, we could make long ponchos, similar to the logo rain ponchos they sell at football games, but more lightweight sheet. Non-Mormons could just put them on over their coat on cold days, or over their shorts on warm days. The women's would be high-necked with long sleeves, and hang like a long kaftan. The men's would be more like scrubs, with a white shirt top, with a collar and necktie, and pull-on long black pants, loose enough to be worn over golf or ski pants or sweats or pajamas. We could sell the ponchos in front of ward houses and the conference center. I guess we would need to sell slippers, too, to cover bare feet in sandals. It would be just like the Mormons selling and renting temple clothes, for a fee.

This is not a novel idea. I remember when I lived in Europe, as a teen-ager, street venders would sell "church caps" in front of the cathedrals, so tourists could cover their heads appropriately.

On second thought, this wouldn't work. My son had a tee shirt, which was artfully printed with a fake vest, buttoned-up white shirt with a pointed collar, and a tie. He wore it to (Mormon) church, and they sent him home.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 11:09AM

I wore a colored polo golf shirt and blue jeans when I visited my former home ward. Most people were friendly and cordial; largely because many of them have grown children no longer active in the church (they won't even attend church when visiting their parents).

Only one member appeared to be incensed about my "lack of respect for the chapel" appearance. It was a man who was in the bishopric when I was serving as ward clerk. My Mom said hello and then stepped back so he could get a good look of me.

-You remember Messy, don't you?

I extended my hand for the obligatory salutation, but he refrained.

My Mom failed to decode his body language and she pushed on.

-He was the ward clerk. You used to meet weekly with Bishop _____.

To save face he changed his attitude. "Sure I remember Messy, Weren't you the fellow who moved to that atomic dump site in Nevada?"

This guy took one more jab at me when I started to walk in. I extended my hand out for a church program (he had given one to my Mom) and he gestured his hand in a backward motion. The programs disappeared! It signified that I should know better than to dress casual for church.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 11:24AM

I hated to invite investigators to church as a missionary because I knew how judgmental members could be. We as elders would try to explain how special our mormon meetings really were as well as a dress code. Usually our investigator's idea of dressing up for church was wearing a crucifix with a tight blouse and mini skirt. Surprisingly, a lot of brethren were extra-friendly welcoming attractive, single women while their wives made faces.

During the ward missionary correlation meeting, there were blunt reminders that we missionaries needed to be more mindful that visitors needed to follow the Sunday-best dress code.

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 12:59PM

Put on a happy face, for the dupe with a frown is not fully dressed.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 09:32PM

It's another thing that took on a life of its own. It became more important than the lessons about Jesus and He'nly Father. I know I've told the story before, but I'll tell it again:

When I was serving in Okinawa, we had an asshole of a district president. One of the things he instituted was a strict dress code, that--if broken--would disqualify you even giving a prayer in class. We met on a Marine camp, where many inactive Mormons would come out of the woodwork and tenuously amble into church hoping for a bit of friendship. Since we hoped to reactivate them, we didn't mind that they were coming in jeans and T-shirts, or whatever. But the asshole put his foot down, and said that we had to turn them away if they weren't dressed "appropriately" (there's that stupid word again). So one of the elders went to Korea and had some shop turnout a couple dozen white shirts, and brought them back. We ironed them and donated ties we didn't like, and when the young Marines showed up, we'd say, "Hey, we got a white shirt and tie for you to wear. Would that be okay?" It basically worked, but was still rude as hell, and some kids refused and left. We were so happy when this district president left that we had a wheels-up party. That was after he tasked us all to clean his military quarters, of course.

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Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: January 11, 2020 01:55AM

That guy was a piece of work. But of all the stories I heard about him, I never heard this one. Obviously, no surprise. I just remember being told how lucky we were that we got there after he was gone.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: January 11, 2020 02:07AM

I thought you'd heard the dress code stories. He's the one who made all the women wear long skirts and dress--ankle length. Fortunately, in the late 1970's the "granny dress"was in. I hope I told you about the temple interview questions.

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Posted by: Lurker 1 ( )
Date: February 07, 2020 11:45AM

In our ward it is very common to see women wearing nice slacks to church. I haven't heard anyone talking bad about them. I'm only there for an hour on Sundays however because I spend most of my Sunday at a state prison as a volunteer prison chaplain. The people that attend church there are very non-judgmental.

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Posted by: bettydee ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 09:47PM

The last time I attended a LDS chapel they were a lady wearing black motorcycle leather clothing . Not sure if she arrived on a motor cycle or not.

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Posted by: LeftTheMorg ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 10:29PM

So, will someone answer the question:
Has the Dress Code changed? Can women wear pants to church now?

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Posted by: stillangry ( )
Date: January 12, 2020 11:22AM

LeftTheMorg Wrote:
> So, will someone answer the question:
> Has the Dress Code changed? Can women wear pants
> to church now?

Wear what ever you want. They can't do anything to you if you are not in dress pants and a white shirt with tie.

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Posted by: forestpal ( )
Date: February 07, 2020 01:35PM

Good question, LeftTheMorg. I'm also waiting for an answer.

I suspect we're not getting an answer because no one knows for sure.

I heard that some lady missionaries in cold countries have been allowed to wear pants, but don't know if they can wear those pants in a chapel.

I've had a few never-Mormon women say they wore pants to a Mormon funeral, but these were well-respected professional women, with a lot of presige. One is a granddaughter of an important GA, and she can get away with anything. I feel that an ordinary woman would receive glares and frowns of disapproval. Probably the Mormons wouldn't throw you out, though, unless you were wearing shorts or a tank top. I was rushed to a Saturday funeral, during some tennis matches, and I threw on a trench style raincoat over the shorts. I felt like a flasher.

I've worn pants to Mormon viewings, but these take place usually in the RS room or the gym, and not in the chapel. I've worn pants to Mormon graveside services.

I'm on board with Mother Who Knows's long poncho. Maybe they could be made of paper, by the same company that makes those paper gowns at the doctor's office, or paper toilet seat covers. Cover that icky, unsanitary skin, ladies! Perhaps they could be dispensed in vending machines, for a price. Adventisements could be printed on them, along with the church's full name, "Families are Forever", "Protect The Family", "Be Ye Perfect", Light and Delightsome", "I Heart Russel and Wendy","PISS for Teens," much like logo tee shirts.

I also like the wrap-around skirt idea. I played the organ, also, and would pull on a short, jersey skirt over my pants. That chapel was never heated during the week, and it got very cold in there.

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Posted by: exminion ( )
Date: February 07, 2020 01:41PM

I wish that some female would wear a long sleeved white shirt and a tie and dress pants and closed-toe shoes to a Mormon church. This applies to dress codes, after all.

Return and report.

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Posted by: doyle18 ( )
Date: February 08, 2020 02:54AM

Another thing that would upset TBM's is if a woman wore a pantsuit to church, especially if that pantsuit was all white.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: February 07, 2020 01:52PM

You could probably where whatever you want to so long as your peers respect you. However, you might eventually hear a snide remark or two from disapproving members.

Mormon are real good as backstabbers. The more petty something is, then the more fiercely attack and fight.

How can you forget all those not-so-subtle run it your face lessons?

-for not wearing a tie as a deacon?
-for missing a Sunday attendance?
-for wearing a palm tree tie tack on palm Sunday?

I can't forget those experiences. They trigger bad memories. That's why I really have to prep myself because I truly believe the church is evil for controlling every aspect of their life. No, the mormon church is horrible, not even to visit once in awhile.

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Posted by: olderelder ( )
Date: January 12, 2020 12:11PM

Many religions have the attitude of "Come as you are, just come." Mormonism is over on the "Don't come unless you look, behave and think exactly like us" end of the scale.

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 12:40AM

I make a point of wearing all black on the rare occasions I enter a Cult chapel for a funeral...only reason I ever would..and it usually elicits a stern stare from old bedshitter in a suit and white shirt.

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Posted by: Eric3 ( )
Date: February 14, 2020 01:44PM

Most churches these days have people dressed in everything from shorts and flip flops to three piece suits, every service. The entire range.

No comment is made and few people think twice. The attitude is "we're glad to have you here".

Some people are more comfortable in shorts. And some people, believe or not, wouldn't be comfortable in anything but a suit. I support their wearing that. Glad to have you hear.

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