Date: January 17, 2020 11:52AM
The offence comes with making a statement ("this guy is ...) rather than (if necessary at all) asking the question. How could the poster possibly know this in order to make a definitive statement as s/he did?
"I work with some really nice people, some of them gay/lesbian."
"He comes across as a highly sensitive, emotional person."
The poster is linking being "highly sensitive" and "emotional" with being gay. That's stereotyping, at least, which, yes, is likely offensive to at least some readers.
So I can understand why some would consider the proposition and comments to be offensive.
The poster continues: "He says that he's married, but I think he's struggling to be honest with himself."
Rampant speculation. Likely distasteful, at best, to many. And why say "He *says* that he's married...". He *is* married. No?
So, yes, it's fairly obvious why some would consider these comments to be bigoted. And wild speculation can be very hurtful to the subject. Also, as indicated above, speculating that someone is gay to supposedly explain their words, behaviour or situation is also bigotry.
Date: January 16, 2020 06:24PM
Rubicon said: "John is what I call a cultural Mormon. He likes many aspects of the modern church. He just wants to cut loose from the old ways."
John admits openly that there are still many benefits and cultural aspects of the LDS culture that he still loves and feels has brought him great happiness. I think to this day, he has not tried alcohol yet.
He avoids answering directly the question of the existence of a diety. He also likes to take an ultra subtle approach to examining the church (mixed faith marriages). He is trying to make his approach more palatable to TBM's.
However, I did see the new podcast this morning and decided not to listen. How anyone can come so far out of the BS and then go back into it, just makes me sick to my stomach. It's different to not know the shit your eating while you are eating it, rather than knowing it before, during, and after chewing and swallowing.
I thought being a closet mormon was totally repulsive, but this is just trauma on a whole other dimension.
Date: January 17, 2020 10:29AM
to some of it because of what others have said about it. We do remember that John was "kicked out." He didn't decide to leave on his own. I didn't like something he wrote a while back about the good things about mormonism and how we should all acknowledge the good that mormonism did in our lives. I didn't agree.
My therapist is John's friend, though my therapist is very exmormon, though he has not resigned and, yes, he has tried alcohol (my therapist) and drinks it regularly. My therapist agreed with John's comments on the good mormon does and that we should acknowledge to ourselves what good it did. I disagreed with my therapist and he was fine with that. We have many discussions about things we agree and disagree with, like I don't agree with how he advises I deal with my son and we haven't agreed for years, but he doesn't know my son either.
But you guys have me curious now. I doubt I'll be surprised.
If they cut me a check for a billion dollars, a million dollars. I'd go back. I wouldn't believe, but I'd go through the motions. I've been poor, very poor. Yep, I'd be what? What is the word? I'm getting too old. I know there is no chance in hell they'll give me any money, so I'm not worried.
As for if he is gay, I'd tend to believe otherwise, BUT if he is, that is between him and his wife and none of our business.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/17/2020 10:30AM by cl2.
Date: January 17, 2020 11:33AM
Yeah, I guess I'm just in a fundamentally different place than some of these folks, who want to find a way back.
I put up with a lot of things about the LDS Church and Mormon culture that I didn't like, because I thought the doctrine and authority was from God--as I had been taught ad nauseam from childhood.
After I discovered the doctrine wasn't true, there just wasn't that much pull there. Sure, I was scared about the potential reaction of family and friends to my leaving the fold and what to do without the social structure in my life--but now that I've moved beyond those fears, I really don't feel any desire to go back. I believe that feeling would persist even if they reformed it into a decent sort of organization that was transparent, ordained women, changed their weird views on sex etc., because I've formed new associations and found new things to do with my life. I don't want to give any of that up just to return to Mormonism.
I'm curious, so maybe I'll listen when I've got a chance.