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Posted by: Screen Name ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 02:23AM

If God the Father had an arm wrestle with Jesus Christ, who would win?

Or would their arms each stretch into a deformed shape?

Would you pay to watch such a match?

Who would you root for?

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 02:27AM

Can God create a boulder so large he can't move it?
Can He ask a question He can't answer?
How many angels can dance on the head of Screen Name?

I'm going to bed. I suggest you do, also.

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Posted by: houstonoilers ( )
Date: February 03, 2020 08:39PM

Despite being an atheist, I think those questions have a workaround because Dog can exist in a quantum state, so there's my loophole.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: February 04, 2020 04:54PM

houstonoilers Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Despite being an atheist, I think those questions
> have a workaround because Dog can exist in a
> quantum state, so there's my loophole.


What if it's still just a Quantum Territory?

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Posted by: Razortooth ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 09:46AM

I think now might be a good time to index my string collection.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 03:58PM

There are people who are currently indexing their barbed wire collections.

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Posted by: anonculus ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 10:06AM

LOL...

I heard this in the voice of Will Ferrell's Harry Carey.

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Posted by: CL2 ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 11:11AM


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Posted by: forestpal ( )
Date: February 15, 2020 03:43PM

The only reason I opened this thread, is to see if any other females posted here. WTG, Cl2!

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 12:19PM

My favorite is "Could God microwave a burrito so hot that he couldn't eat it?"

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 01:28PM


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Posted by: schrodingerscat ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 03:40PM

What if monkeys flew out of my asshole?

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 03:45PM

schrodingerscat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What if monkeys flew out of my asshole?


What if????

Huh! Who's writing your posts then?!

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Posted by: Ted ( )
Date: February 10, 2020 12:00PM

Lol...owned.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 03:46PM

What if Einstein said so?

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Posted by: schrodingerscat ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 08:07PM

dagny Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What if Einstein said so?

What if?
I don't believe everything Einstein said, just because he said it. I don't believe "God doesn't play dice with the universe."
I think things get taken out of context and that statement is a perfect example, since it was in response to his rejection of quantum weirdness.
He believed the universe operated according to classical laws of physics, that the sub-atomic world behaved like the larger world of large bodies and Newtonian physics, that the world tended toward predictable clock like movements. His refusal to accept quantum mechanics led to him spending the last 30 years of his life frustrated by his inability to develop a unified theory of everything, or what he called, "The Mind of God".
Now, 100yrs later, we have what Hawking called, "The best candidate for the Mind of God" which is String Theory or "M Theory," the Mother of all Theories. Which depends upon multiple dimensions beyond the 3 we experience and can observe.
When it comes to existential questions, I rely on modern cosmologists far more than I rely on ones who lived 100yrs ago, or longer ago.
Although I think Einstein was half right, "God" (Nature) does play dice with the universe on a regular basis, only the dice are loaded, in favor of matter instead of anti-matter.
Otherwise we wouldn't exist.
And neither would anything else for that matter.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: February 03, 2020 10:04AM

Ha! Tempted to print that on a Tee shirt.

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Posted by: Warrior71783 ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 08:20PM

I joked once that i beat jesus in a thumb wrestling match because he was into the whole weird handshake thing but the mormon i said that too was not too pleased with me. You have to joke about it, have to to recover.

That said jesus would win the arm wrestling match because the time on the cross boosted his muscle strength and endurance to out last anybody besides me of course.

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Posted by: Anziano Young ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 09:31PM

Brethren and appendages--er, I mean Sisters:

There has been a great disturbance in the Force. As a Melchizedek Priesthood holder, I am often asked questions by faithful members here who unwittingly try to tempt God, as if He cares anything for the outcome of such earthly vanities as arm-wrestling. Now, by virtue of my priesthood office I have been given the keys to all things in this last dispensation, and I could easily answer that question. But there are some truths that aren't very useful, such as the truth that the outcome of an arm-wrestling match of that nature would destroy the very universe. However, God is bound by the laws of justice, and without our Intercessor, even Jesus the Christ, to take our place in the great Arm-Wrestling Match, justice could not be satisfied and mercy would have no place. Thus you see, Brothers and Sister-wives, that God the Father and His Son, yea the great Christ, even Jesus-the-, cannot hold such a match, as they are bound by immutable laws in Heaven even though they are, inexplicably, omnipotent. Take no thought of it, for these things have no bearing on your salvation, and we never taught it anyway.

Check, please.

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Posted by: Warrior71783 ( )
Date: February 02, 2020 09:47PM

And the arm wrestling match would be too sacred to discuss. It wouldn't be a secret though when the match takes place within holy walls. 10% of your income for life if you want to get in to see the holy arm wrestling match. We promise its not a secret even though it will be clearly a secret from the public. Waaaay to sacred to discuss a simple arm wrestling match between holy of holies. Your simple minds could not comprehend this sacred match. It will take place behind a curtain too.

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Posted by: Anziano Young ( )
Date: February 03, 2020 10:08AM

We never taught anything about no "arm wrestling match"! Am I even saying that right? "Arm rassling match"?

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: February 03, 2020 11:22AM

When they arm wrestle they push it so hard their faces turn red and it makes them fart. That's what thunder is.

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Posted by: ookami ( )
Date: February 03, 2020 12:05PM

But if that's where thunder comes from, then what causes lightning?

Do I even WANT to know the answer?

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: February 03, 2020 01:27PM

>> "But if that's where thunder comes from, then what causes lightning?"

That has to do with the spiritual release that occurs when they are making spirit babies.

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Posted by: ookami ( )
Date: February 03, 2020 02:21PM

So, instead of praying not to have lightning strikes during a dry season, we should just send some spiritual condoms?

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: February 03, 2020 12:07PM

If its Mormon Hot Surfer Jesus then why don't we switch this fantasy to mud wrestling and then not care who wins?

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Posted by: Finally Free! ( )
Date: February 03, 2020 01:15PM

Why can only men answer your question? Seems like you're limiting yourself and missing out on a great deal of interesting answers.

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Posted by: Screen Name ( )
Date: February 10, 2020 11:57AM

When I was 10 years old, my big brother had a bike repair shop. One day, I walked in to watch him work. I liked the songs he hummed while tinkering.

He knew more about kickstands than anyone, even the Wright brothers. That's why planes don't have them. If they did, fewer tires would be required. Fewer tires need fewer axles. Airlines are stupid. They think avoiding kickstand is cool, just because everyone else avoids them.

In a perfect world, kickstands will be respected. And never abused.

I hate stationary bikes.

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Posted by: azsteve ( )
Date: February 13, 2020 09:48PM

So what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? Unimaginable things!

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Posted by: OneWayJay ( )
Date: February 15, 2020 12:07AM

Remember that God could not beat Jacob in a wrestling match. Only ended when God used his powers to dislocate a hip - so at worst it was a medical forfeit on the part of Jacob. Or - disqualification of God for unsportsmanlike conduct - deliberately injuring an opponent.

Arm wrestling? Not gonna happen.

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Posted by: SCMD not logged in ( )
Date: February 15, 2020 03:22PM

My guess is that God would win in this hypothetical competition because Jesus (I pronounce it hay/SEUSS because everyone I've ever met in the flesh with that name pronounces it as such) is half mortal. On the other hand, many people let their kids win in such situations. Perhaps Elohim is a doting parent.

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Posted by: SCMD not logged in ( )
Date: February 15, 2020 03:47PM

Why were the XXes disinvited to reply?

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