Been burning my relationships to the ground over religion and politics both. I’m working as a bug/weed exterminator. It’s not glamorous, but I’m independent. Thought I would check in. No one but a couple people from my old life and my immediate family talk to me anymore —- and... I kinda like it this way, tbh. Figured I’ve insulted enough people to get a lot of the frustration of the last five years out of my system. Not constructive, but that wasn’t the point. I’ve been angry, and no one would listen, so I told them all how I really feel. They’re delusional cultists, and I’m done with them. The only times the shit comes back up is when I’m around family, so I try not to be around family so much. I know Mormons thinks they’re the most wonderful people in the universe, but the 11 they’re constantly at to keep Elohim’s wrath of their back is insufferable, especially for a guy who gets why they’re like that but they won’t take his criticism.

I know the feeling. The Mormons are allowed to criticize you as a faithless apostate but if you say anything to them you're persecuting them because of their religion.

Shinehah Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I know the feeling. The Mormons are allowed to
> criticize you as a faithless apostate but if you
> say anything to them you're persecuting them
> because of their religion.
Of Course!!! How coould you possibly think anything else?

Not possible to impenetrate the cult shield from the outside. They are impervious and the frustration of trying to get through only ricochets off their facade as they smugly believe they have dominated you.

Avoiding cult family is the best thing I have done for my own sanity.

You are on your own and self sufficient. That is the best. Taking chances while you are young is the true order of things.

Glad you checked in--always liked following your story.

Why oh why did I write impenetrate instead of penetrate? Better get more coffee . . .

“Baby, I won't just penetrate you, I’m gonna impenetrate you, cuz I think you are hot!”
—Many American Presidents

Thank you for making me laugh. I really needed it today you old dog.

Here honey, have a cigar.

How's Chief?

Thriving from what he tells me. Kid is dating guys and hanging out with friends, and he has a social life outside of Mormonism. I don’t. I think the difference was the life disruption and mental reprogramming of a mission. He didn’t go on his, and it’s making all the difference. I smile at that when there’s nothing else to smile about.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2020 12:44PM by Cold-Dodger.

Glad to hear Chief is good.

I was like you. The mission, the Mormon life left me so far behind. I got a late slow start. Made up for it big time but am the latest bloomer in history. There's a lot more stuff around the corner.

Contrary to Cold-dodger's way of dealing with Mormons, I walked on eggshells around them. I left very quietly. I didn't tell any Mormons about my doubts or my resignation. They found out on their own, through the gossip mill. The ward was mad a me for quitting my calling as organist, but I was ill at the time, and also took a leave of absence from work, in order to go through the hospital treatments necessary for my recovery. My work colleagues were kind and understanding, unlike the Mormons, who gave me a hard time and started to harrass me about not working for them for free, anymore. I also didn't pay tithing during the time I wasn't working or earning any money. I returned to work in a few months, and have been well, ever since. My career is enjoyable and satisfying, and necessary. Church is NOT, I discovered.

Anyway, my point is that even if you are as nice and polite as you can possibly be, even if you are generous in allowing others to believe in anything they want (freedom of religion), even if you try as hard as you can to keep Mormon relationships viable--most often, you cannot. I realized that most of the ward "friendships" were only fake or assigned, in the first place. The shunning from my Mormon family members were the most hurtful. 10 years out, and I have 0--zero--Mormon friends in the old ward. All of my mother's half of the famiy are shunning me, and the half of my father's side are shunning me, and the other half of my father's family have left the cult, and we are close. My work colleagues are non-Mormons, and my good, loyal friends are non-Mormons. Some go as far back as high school. I have my children and grandchildren. Like Done & Done, I avoid my cult family, too, and am happier as a result. Who needs them?

I didn't discuss religion with anyone.

No Mormon has ever has ASKED ME why I left, Many Mormons have TOLD me why I left. You're right. They wouldn't listen anyway,

My point is, that there was nothing you could have done to keep those relationships that were doomed to fail, anyway. So, you might as well have had the satisfaction of telling them the Truth, warning them about the cult, and getting rid of some of your frustrations about the church. Perhaps your way is healthier. Now, I wish I had told some of them off. I wish I had called the police on them, a few times.

Don't take responsibility for "insulting" Mormons, when you were merely telling them how you feel. Even if you got angry at them--this is not the reason they are shunning you. They would have shunned you, anyway. It's just Mormon SOP.

Yes. This in many ways mirrors my experience. I'm more passive in my aggression.

Love this statement - "They would have shunned you, anyway."

It takes great grit and resolve to live Mormonism and love leavers of it.

Hi, Cold-Dodger! I'm glad that you checked in, and that things are humming along for you. I'm glad that Chief is doing well, also.

My mom and I had to learn how to discuss politics, because we had very different views. We would get to a point of a discussion where things were getting heated, and we learned to let it go with "we will have to agree to disagree about that." Of course, it takes a reasonable person to be able to let it go and not have it impact your relationship. Ditto for religion. I was able to work it out with my mom, but trying to work out differences about Mormonism is a much tougher (and often impossible) task.

Continued best wishes to you!