So I walk into the office this morning and there was some kind of commotion going on. On further investigation I discovered that one of the clients had lost his prosthetic eye and my co-worker was tasked with finding it. I've never heard so much wailing and gnashing of teeth in my life. She was totally grossed out and disgustipated about having to search for the missing eyeball. I was snickering under my breath because the situation seemed like something I would have read in "News Of The Weird". I guess I'll find out tomorrow if the search was successful. I'm still trying to figure out how a person could lose an eyeball.

Perhaps it was a spiritual eye or a seer stone eye.

Maybe it was stolen while he took a nap.

I hope it's found. I bet those are expensive.

Yes, They're sooooooooooooooooooo expensive, that:

Lot's of under-paid, under-nourished third-world workers are busy in sweat shops making knock-offs...


Hmmmmm; maybe your client has (had)a cheap-o, that explains why it fell out!

You made me look it up—$2,000 - $8,000+ without health insurance. Geesh !

Suddenly an eye patch gets sexier!

I wear mine just to be stylish. :)

My former brother inn law had one. They are held in with magnets.

"in-law"

Who told him to keep an eye out?

Somebody had to say it!

I wonder how sanitary that is. I'd be hesitant to touch it. Like false teeth.

I'm sure there's a protocol for cleaning it in event of it being outside the socket.

Good to know that your "things that can't be seen but believed" include actual things like microorganisms.

macaRomney Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wonder how sanitary that is. I'd be hesitant to
> touch it. Like false teeth.



I have no doubt Dave the Atheist would bend down and pick it up with his bare hand. I just don't think a glass eye would scare him.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/26/2020 07:15PM by kathleen.

... unless there’s a spider on it.

that's gross OPie ~


#reported ~

Dave, I hope you’re at work and the prosthetic eye has been found.

You'd think he could see what it was looking at and then be able to find it.

When our cell phones enter our bodies...

I see what your saying.

This reminds me of a kid in my ward growing up who had a fake eye. His folks couldn't afford a glass one, so he had to go with a wooden one...which looked O.K. Still, he was very uncomfortable in public and self-conscious about it.

One time we talked him into going to a Stake dance. When he showed up, everyone was pretty much dancing but he noticed one "sweet spirit" sitting alone. As he got close to her he noticed that she had a wooden leg. He thought, "Great!! She probably won't have a hang-up about my wooden eye!!"

He got his courage up and asked her to dance. She excitedly responded, "Oh would I...would I". He took a step back, eyed her up and down, and said, "Fuck you peg leg!!"

Yet another argument / reason for Single Payor!!

You'd think that someone would of noticed it as soon as he lost it, the gross, freak out factor. Too bad that no one had a spare in the same colour that he could of borrowed . I suppose those things have to be fitted though.
Sounds like something from the Addams family, or the Munsters, finding an eyeball in your coffee or soup.

When I was in middle school years ago, the students in the hall started screaming and running up the hall towards me. I was wondering what was wrong until I noticed an eyeball rolling on the floor. A girl had lost her glass eye.

Ummm....glass eyes aren't spherical. They're shaped more big contact lens, concave on the back side, like a dish.....so they don't roll like ball as you describe. My former FIL had several.

So you can’t make your own out of ping pong balls.

The police are looking for a man with one eye.

Typical police efficiency.

I'm keeping an eye out for him too.

there's a web site for shoe exchanges for amputees, how about one for missing / found artificial eyes?


sorted alphabetically by color, of course...

I’m wondering if he had it out and with his belongings, and someone thought it was funny to take it. Sorry to be serious here, But, I’d start thinking of it as theft. And grand theft at that.

If you announce it as so, it may just mysteriously show up under the couch.

At my British boarding school, there was a man called Bellwood with a glass eye who taught maths to both my father and my brother (you see how it works...). To me, he only taught cricket ;-)

At times of more than average exasperation at pupils' idiocy, he was known to raise his eyes up to the ceiling and then fix his gaze on the aforementioned unfortunate imbecile, except that his glass eye couldn't keep up, leaving his prey transfixed as it much more slowly came to bear upon him. This usually reduced the most recalcitrant mathematician to a heap of wobbling jelly...

There was also the time when, hearing an extraneous noise as he wrote on the blackboard, Mr. Bellwood whipped his head round and sent his false eyeball at some speed towards the back of the classroom, narrowly missing several cowed members of the British upper middle classes.

He was a very nice man, too :-)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2020 11:33AM by Soft Machine.

I think MI6.

Overheard in White's Club...

Old boy, my son just sat for his A levels, and is off to university.

Well done. Never doubted it.

My eldest son graduated from [some house name in like Oxford or something], and he's abroad in Libya. Hellish place. Can you post him in say, Germany?

Surely you know you don't need to ask. Good family. Have him ring me.

Oh - my glass is empty. One should not be the first to gaze into one's empty glass. Oh, Boy. Boy! Whisky.


:P



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2020 12:28PM by Beth.

I said upper-middle class, not upper class, Beth ;-)

Ah, the convoluted horrors of the Britsh class system...

I'm afraid we're several rungs down from that, particularly when, in this context, good = rich (in money, land or, at worst, history ;-)

Hope you're well :-D

Tom in Paris

Poor eyeball man. Did he wear a robe? If he wore a robe and even better, a mortarboard, a Goodbye Mr. Chips type, then you're a Tory. End of story. :P

I'm reading too much le Carré. Also non-fiction like a Spy Among Friends <-- that was my, "Seriously, MI6 - you don't vet people? Y'all need to listen to MI5." And that James Jesus Angleton dude. Wow. Blinders. Compartmentalisation. Hoarding information. What a mess.

What else...um...The Spy and the Traitor. I also read some crap book by that shit KGB/GRU or whatever general. I think he ran Philby? Not sure.

This is great. Forget Bletchley Park. Wait. I think Elizebeth Smith Friedman predates WWII. Anyway, "The Woman Who Smashed Codes: A True Story of Love, Spies, and the Unlikely Heroine Who Outwitted America's Enemies" is one of the best books I've read.

Tory, Tory, Tory!

Years ago during my residency, we (the OR Staff) were able to accomplish the very same thing during a simple surgery! Never found. From my experience a missing eyeball is very difficult to find.

You worry me. Didn't the patient need it?

Wait ! ...you lost a guy’s eye during surgery ?

Harder than finding a contact lens on the floor?

who had a glass eye from his brother doing something to poke out his eye when they were younger. He used to freak my kids out with it. They were in awe of that eye. They had never seen such a thing. Really nice guy. Really funny, too.

Eyeball update : still not found

DtA:

please remind us what type of location U work !

warehouse? rail yard? office (should be easy, 'eh?) U've got me flummoxed!

How is that even *possible*?

Maybe someone saw it and gently nudged it under a desk.

Maybe the night cleaning people found it and disposed of it.

Or maybe he didn't lose it after all and needs people to hunt for it before he can get a new one. Hmmmm...

ETA: Tell him to open his third eye



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/29/2020 01:43PM by Beth.

Everyone in the vicinity should check the bottom of their shoes for any goo they might of stepped on.
That might solve the mystery ,so people can stop looking.

Don't they have Seeing Eye dogs to find these things ?

I've seen people just pop them into their head in a second. Maybe it's just as easy for them to pop out.

an Extra cue ball has mysteriously appeared at the pool hall; however, I've been sworn to secrecy on this matter...