I have a son who is, unfortunately, crazy. Psychotic, at the moment. Yesterday he accused me 4 times of trying to kill him. Once in a crowded Costco a block from where I work, yelled it at the top of his lungs to the entire "Fucking Costco", then in the ER, while strapped down to a metal bed.
Once in solitary confinement in a padded cell, where you're locked in and can't get out.
I spent the weekend with him in a crisis center at the hospital. I finally got him out because the Dr. said, "I'm done with you. I can't help you. You're sabotaging yourself."
So I took him downtown in our city to talk with him.
He took off running away the wrong way down a street.
I called my TBM ExWife, his Mom, who accused me of abandoning him, while I was out searching for him and she was an hr and a half away and couldn't be bothered for 2 days while he was in crisis, to come drive around to find our son.
I reported him missing, but it took us 2 hours of driving around to find him. By the time I got the call from the cops, he was 9 miles away, surrounded by 8 cops, a fire engine and an ambulance. He didn't want my help or anybody else's.
When I got there, the cops told me I couldn't talk to him, because he was pissed at me and just wanted his wallet. I gave it to him and He told me "Fuck You!" for the 5th time this weekend, in front of 8 cops and walked off into the cold, dark night.
I brought him his phone and medicines, he took them but wouldn't take a ride.
Last I heard he was at his TBM Grandma's house about 30 miles away, trying to convince her she's a part of a conspiracy, same conspiracy I'm a part of and the Doctors who treated him at the hospital, and the cops.
He is 24 and obviously, very out of his mind.
I don't know what to do.
I've done everything I could do this weekend.
And he hates me for it.
And his headed for a homeless shelter and probably a rapid decline.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/01/2020 10:20PM by schrodingerscat.

Contact your nearest NAMI office as soon as possible. NAMI stands for National Alliance on Mental Illness and they can offer your sound advice and support as you move through this crisis.
https://www.nami.org

I have a 23 year-old son who was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia when he was 17-1/2 years old. It has been a rough journey but he is now in a good place. I attended the Family-to-Family classes in 2014 and they were very helpful to me both knowledge and support-wise.

Yes, NAMI is a very good place to start, not only for education and coping skills but advice how to navigate the local mental health court system. I've worked in mental health for 35 years and it still amazes me how the many counties in our metropolitan area interpret the statutes differently. You don't necessarily have to be violent to be started in the commitment process. Fortunately the county I live in has the right interpretation, in that if your behavior or state of mind jeopardizes your health, they can start the commitment process even if you haven't been violent. One example would be walking barefoot down a road in subzero temperatures. Some would also consider delusional and paranoid thinking reason enough, in that insight and judgment are severely impaired and the person is not able to make the decisions needed to live safely independently. You should also be aware that most homeless shelters do not tolerate bad behavior and will call the cops if he treats their staff as he treated you. And please tell everyone in your family who might take him in that he doesn't have to be violent to call the police. If he scares you, call the police and ask that he be taken into a hospital for a mental health evaluation. Sometimes it takes several go rounds of the police - hospital - discharge scenario before he is forced to get the help he needs. Good luck - I'll be praying for you all.

Best of luck, Kori. I know this sort of thing is hell for a parent and you have my sincere wishes for a great outcome and, barring that, the strength to put up with this.

Ditto from me. Thanks LW.

Ditto from me too. This is a discouraging and dangerous situation for parents who love their children and want to help. Be safe. I hope he is able to get effective help soon.

oH I'm so sorry... having mental illness in a family member

can be heart wrenchingly tragic. Just recently my daughters

exwife's family experienced their paranoid schophrenic son

stabbed his own mother to death. Its just a gawdawful thing in

family. The mentaly ill person doesn't want help and is usually

so angry and hateful towards any family members that they want

no help or love or simple human kindness.

I don't think anyone can comprehend the horror and sadness of

having a mentally ill child.

I wish you love and hope that somewhere you can find help

for you boy. Please keep us posted.

Kori, is this your son who is 6’4” tall ? Please look out for your own safety. My BIL is in a similar situation with his adult son, and he has been injured more than once. Knocked down stairs, etc.

As much as you love him, please don’t let him hurt you.

kathleen Wrote:
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> Kori, is this your son who is 6’4” tall ?
6'5" but who's counting. Fortunately not violent, otherwise we'd have him committed.
> Please look out for your own safety. My BIL is in
> a similar situation with his adult son, and he has
> been injured more than once. Knocked down stairs,
> etc.
>
> As much as you love him, please don’t let him
> hurt you.

most difficult things in life to deal with since you can't help them, especially when they don't want help.

I typed for a psychiatric hospital for about 6 months a few years ago and what I couldn't believe is that they'd have the patient in for 3 or 4 days and then put them out on the street. It was a cold winter, too. They change medications (if the patient will take them) too often. I was so depressed when typing that hospital.

Keep us posted on how you are doing and how he is doing. I don't know what I'd do if I were in your shoes.

Thanks.
He is safe at his Grandma's house, for now.
Don't have any idea what his future holds. Fortunately he's not violent, just very crazy.

He is unpredictable. Violence could start at any time.

Does his Mormonism matter at all? Your post doesn't say anything about it.

Elder Berry Wrote:
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> Does his Mormonism matter at all? Your post
> doesn't say anything about it.

Only in that he was raised Mormon, at least for the first half of his life. And his Mom is Mormon and coddles him and enables him, to the point where she stripped me of any ability to parent him. Her approach was to medicate him heavily. Now he won't take his prescription meds and self medicates with RSO, which lands him in crisis like this weekend.

I'm terribly sorry, schrodingerscat. At least you know that he is safe at present.

Start by researching what mental health services are available in your state and county. Tell them that your son is a danger to himself and others. Keep check in on Grandma-if he is volatile she could be a target.

Im so sorry you have to go thru this experience.

RMM

and that you are. I hope you can find him the help he needs.

You said mormon son. Does he have mormonism related paranoia or delusions?

I have a family member who has Jesus related delusions. It was pretty bad for a while. That was in 2011 when it reached its peak. The actual problem started perhaps since 1994 to now (26 y). He was afraid the world is coming to an end. Jesus and Mary were asking him to kill himself, etc. He said that in 2 to 3 y, the world is coming to an end, well 2014 is over and many years later, and everything is fine.

He never wanted to see a doctor. I talked to him about other people with this problem. He is a logical person and was having difficulty in accepting that he has a problem.

All I can say is mental illness + religion is a nasty combo.

iceman9090 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> All I can say is mental illness + religion is a
> nasty combo.

In the realm of addiction I wonder sometimes if religion or other things are worse for the mentally ill? It is just as dangerous or more dangerous in some regards but I don't know. The older I get the more religion looks more like a drug.

Hey bro, sorry for your troubles. "crazy, psychotic, (paranoid)" - these are sign of latent onset schizophrenia/schizoaffective type disorder. If he has not been diagnosed, try to get him in to a mental health facility on a 96 hour hold. He could do well with anti-psychotic medication, unless this is an isolated event that he needs to work through.