Even as a TBM I hated Sac Mtg. The whole thing was a total bore. Random people rambling on about nothing, Babies constantly crying, and the horrible singing at least 3 times per meeting. It all sucked and I remember always casually looking at the clock in the rear of the building to see how much time was left before we could leave.

I felt like attending services was something I had to do in order to prove my worthiness to others. I found zero benefit to attending them other than seeing friends again.

We used to measure the "success" of a really good talk by how fast it made the time fly by.

a few years ago, when my step daughter was going through her B'nai Mitzvah, I attended the synagogue for a year and I found the difference between Jewish services and Mormon ones were remarkable. I actually found the Jewish services to be somewhat worth-while even though I don't believe in god. At least the songs were awesome. The Klezmer scale does wonders in terms of setting a mood or helping to tell a story with music.

No wonder new mormon converts go inactive so quickly. Compared to other religious services out there I would say Mormon Sacrament meetings rate at the bottom of the barrel.

Can you think of other meetings that are worse? Watching C-SPAN for example?

I still remember always looking at the clock to this day. I swear they made that clock move slower on purpose just to piss me off. Hated sacrament but i never really considered myself a TBM although i was born in it and the indoctrination is in my head still. Always knew something was off about the whole thing but i could never put my finger on it or what the adults were doing in secret, including my parents, until youtube came about. I think i have PTSD just from being raised in that environment alone.

SMs will little more than 'the chosen' to Preach & brag to the unwashed masses.

One gal lamented that her elderly husband was 'only an elder'.

One MD guy in same ward always began & ended his talks with "Aloha" to message us of his frequent trips & condo in Hawaii.

In F&TM, a transitioning 'former' JW got up & preached JW doctrine.

Long time ago (early 70s) FP letters:

Don't use 'artificial' birth control; all who do are SELFISH!

De-caf coffee is OK;

Down the Memory Hole with those!!

Absolutely. But the other meetings were worse.

I don't know. Some conference calls with a whole bevy of clients sure border on it.

Mine was before that three hour block thing I heard about. We had to get dressed back up and be to church by 7PM. Everybody on a full stomach from dinner trying to stay awake. The high council speakers were the worst. First they'd tell you the process they went to deciding what to speak on. Then they'd tell you how they put it together. Then they'd give you the same talk they gave at another ward the last Sunday. Just shoot me.

Sometimes the SMs would end ten minutes early if the speaker ran out of gas. I guess our bishop (Dad) was more humane than some. Felt like an early parole.

I remember those meetings as a kid. They truly sucked. What i remember most from that time was the crazy amount of vibrato that ALL of the elderly women who sang felt like they needed to add in order to sound good. It was like they were trying to sing to sheep.

I guess they actually were.

I was totally inactive by 13 years old, but prior to that I used to count the square acoustic ceiling tiles over and over, and count the seconds tick by on the wall clock in the chapel.

I also used to try and solve a little drawing puzzle. You have to draw a box, with a half circle on each side of the box, and an X across the middle of the box, without lifting your pencil. I don't think it can actually be done, at least I never did it, which is probably why my mom showed it to me during sacrament meeting.

That's how interesting it was.

For the last twenty minutes I had to try the box with circles without lifting the pen or going over a line.

I did it! I have two pages filled though. It can be done Roy!

And now I can't repeat. No short term memory at all!

Here is one way to do it

1. Start at left upper corner, then draw diagonal to right lower corner.

2. Draw line upwards to right upper corner.

3. Draw semicircle back to right lower corner.

4. Draw horizontal line to left lower corner.

5. Draw diagonal line to right upper corner.

6. Draw horizontal line to left upper corner.

7. Draw vertical line down to left lower corner.

8. draw semicircle back to left upper corner.

One can start at any corner and do corresponding moves.

OMG!! How crazy is this? HA!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Bridges_of_K%C3%B6nigsberg

Which *is* impossible.

Your directions only put the semi-circle on two sides, you can draw a third on the top where you left off, but then you can't get back to the bottom to draw the fourth. That's my experience, you always end up one semi-circle short on one side of the box.

OH! WELL . . . I only put semi-circles on the sides of the box. No wonder I claimed victory so quickly. Well, not the first time I jumped ahead of the directions.

Your mother was clever, Roy.

I should try using metric semi-circles, that might work!

If you have a semicircle on all four sides of the box then it is impossible by Euler's Theorem.

Yeah, my mom didn't tell me that. Had to figure it out on my own :)

Well F&T meeting was sometimes hilarious. I enjoyed sacrament meeting in the same way the emperor really had no clothes.
Of course I’d dread it if I’d committed a ‘sin’ and couldn’t take the sacrament; I thought I was worthless - and everyone else probably agreed. I don’t remember any talks from all those years; this is probably how far nonsense sinks in. What I do remember is that I took it all so seriously, especially if I had to give a talk - I put my heart and soul into it. I cringe at this now.
The one thing I consciously disliked were the people.

Another test of faith. I mean isn't that the point of weekly services? Test your faith guaranteed unless your are on vacation. But there are people whose test of faith extends there too. Temple vaca anyone?

Testing faith, as in testing our patience?
I remember once as a TBM, I accidentally referred to being in the church as “doing time”.

Just like serving a mission.

You took Cheerios to church, right? That was the secret of all the mothers in my ward.

My kids still LOVE cereal to this day. My daughter eats it like she would chips out of the box. My son has it several times a day. I keep a lot in the house. I don't like cereal much at all. Not even in desperation. It was how I got my kids off the bottle though. I gave them little cups of cereal to pack around with them.

But the thing that was a real problem is if I'd had it that day, most days, I'd take one of them out to the foyer and then walk home (1-1/2 blocks). My husband would give me the evil eye.

I hated all of the meetings. I dreaded each and every one. I didn't see the point since nothing of substance was ever discussed and no new information ever came out of it. It was just pointless subservience and endurance. Especially if I had to fast on top of that just to make the suffering even more pointed.

When I went to college, most of my friends were non-Mormon Christians, and they LIKED going to their church! I discreetly stopped attending the Mormon church the day I moved out of my parents house, so the fact that my friends actually chose to go to church and enjoyed it baffled me. I attended with them a few times just to check it out, and it really was an enjoyable experience. Not like my TBM upbringing at all.

I loathed ALL mormon meetings !

Admit what? I didn't loath it. Why would I? All my friends

and family were there. I was in a ward that I grew up in,

I knew all the people and liked them. I had good times there.

It was nothing to loath. Even if I went back today after

having been resigned for five years I wouldn't loath it.

OH Saucie. I knew it. You have always been the fun one. Every where you are is a party. I'm trying not to be envious.

Like the year I took a couple of shots each Sunday before walking to church.

Yeah, that wasn't so bad..

Wrong!!! Iloved it!
An uninterrupted hour of peace and rest

Nevermo. But I always loathed Mass.

Like the OP said, as a child I found it a total bore. After I turned 20, quit and never looked back.

Back in the day of the separated meetings, you could at least count on being dismissed early if there was a moon landing scheduled and the timing conflicted. So there was always some hope!

I’m surprised in this esteemed group that nobody mention the “pinch the kid technique” to get to walk outta the Chapel routine.

Many games of "dots" helped me keep my sanity during SM.

My sis and i did the dots game too haha.

I never understood why we had to go to Sacrament meeti g if we had sacrament during sunday school. (Pre block era)

I remember quiet books for kids.

Sometimes I did homework.

We also played a dot game. Did lots of drawings.

Anyone remember incestuous back rubs?

I hated Sunday School and Priesthood Meeting far more than Sacrament Meeting. Except for when I played, spoke, or gave a prayer, I could pay as little attention as I wanted. In the other meetings, there was always the chance of being asked a question, which made it awkward if I hadn't been following the lesson or discussion.

He revelled in hearing himself pontificate at the end of every sacrament meeting. Even if he wasn't conducting, he would jump up and interrupt the other member of the bishopric who was "trying to close" the meeting. Yes, he was an ass big time!

I know that it was a long time ago, but sometime in the 1980s the church lengthened sacrament from 60 to 70-75 minutes within the the prescribed 3-hour block. They shortened sunday school to accomplish this.

I recall many sacrament meetings staring at that oak slab of a wall clock. Naturally, the bishop would get up and keep us an extra 15-20 minutes. This was particularly was certain if a program had two youth speakers, a member who thought he/she had an ephiany about third Nephi and the high councilor with a special message concerning "doing more and paying more."

I rarely do this, but I want you to know what kind of person was my bishop, he was the real person behind the fictional person Bill Lumbergh. This was the character from the Office Space movie. My bishop looked and acted just like him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsLUidiYm0w (short clip about the memo)

As a TBM I loathed Sac Meetings. I loathed it since the day I was born into the cult. I was even a member of the Bishopric and I loathed them, and I would play on my cell phone during the meeting (kept it down low so no one could see). I detested fast and testimony meetings above all though. I once had a bishop, if there was ever a 5-10 minute period after the last speaker, would call up people at random from the audience to of course bare their testimony. When I was in the bishopric, I accidentally forgot to ask for the members to sustain a release of a ward calling by raising the right hand, and this asshat high councilman in the congregation came running up to the stand to explain how important it was that I had forgotten this, explained the doctrine behind it, and re-did the release. I was hugely embarrassing, but he enjoyed hearing the sound of his own voice. If I ever see him on a side walk, I will stick my tongue out at him.

I'm an extrovert, so I didn't mind them so much;

I'm also very detail-minded, when I was TBM I liked some of the things that FP came out with, but Always wondered 'What were they thinking?'

What stands out in my mind is how conscious I was of my physical appearance. I was a single young woman with a young child. I felt I couldn’t be myself and had to look perfect. It was difficult on such a tight budget when looking after the needs of young child as well. I feel the need for perfection meant my priorities were really mixed up. I wish I’d devoted everything to my daughter now and left the church years before I did. I felt really traumatised having to be around all those people in one room, like it was a place of judgment. One thing I love about my life now is that I can look how I like, dress how I like and just be myself. Ironically I look better as well as feeling better.

Not as much as F&T...OMG...I fucking hated them with a passion.

Heck ya. Who wouldn't admit that? Sometimes now I go to a Unitarian or Episcopalian service and get treated to an absolutely amazing sermon with amazing music and related stuff and I think "wow, that was really worth getting up for this morning." I NEVER went to a mormon service and had that thought enter my head. I remember some services being much better than others and some that were downright painful, but no matter how good, you still had the drudgery stuff to go along with it, the slow drone hymns that they didn't even stand up for, and the boring bread and water intermission. No nursery, ugh! Loathed it.

I’m not religious anymore, but I definitely much preferred the Church of England services. They’re quite solemn and reserved (so typically British) but at least there is an atmosphere, and you get to drink nice wine instead of water. Actually on one service a couple of years ago the wine was so nice I nearly asked which one it was. I guess it is a bit ritualistic but nothing in it that reminded me of the temple. Nothing nearly as weird. And of course I grew up in CofE so I felt like I’d returned home. Too bad I don’t believe in god anymore.

I had a twin sister whom I hoped to send in my place. No luck.