Posted by:
exminion
(
)
Date: April 05, 2020 10:56PM
A couple of weeks ago my hobbies were anticipating every worse-case scenario I could imagine, and then preparing for it. I was barely home from the hospital, and in bad pain, and the pain pills didn't work. I found out my Will was not valid, so I had to rework my Trust and accounts, and get someone authorized as my power of attorney, in case I became deathly sick, and then I had to send notarized and witnessed letters so I could have computer access to my financial accounts, anticipating the predicted market crash. Before I could do that, I had to first get ink for my printer so I could print up the documents. Then I had to find a notary and 2 witnesses to meet me in a parking lot, like drug dealers. I managed to get 60 days' supply (not enough) of my crucial medications (still no pain pills), and never did find any toilet paper. I ended up in a huge, continuous, out-of-control PTSD anxiety attack, and went 4 days without eating or sleeping. If the virus wasn't going to kill me, the high blood pressure and pounding heart were. I lost 10 pounds in 9 days. I called my psychiatrist for paid help on the phone, and he said, "I'm retired." On the media, the US election candidtates were all dissing each other, and blaming Trump and everyone else, and sesationalizing the fear, to get attention and ratings. Then the SLC earthquake hit, and all the after shocks.
My hobby was to breathe...bear the pain and fear...calm down.
When I could focus, my first real hobby was to read a lot of good articles online, on how to manage anxiety and panic attacks. I have used all of the techniques, and they all work. The trouble was, that I had to be doing something constantly, because the hysteria would just come back. I couldn't do the paperwork and do yoga breathing or meditation at the same time, so I had to do everything while in a state of heightened panic. I isolated myself in my bedroom and office for all of this, because I didn't want my family to watch me become unravelled.
Someone unexpectedly brought me a giant package of toilet paper as a gift, and that changed things! I began to open up to others with an attitude of helping them and "paying it forward." Many of my older friends don't have a computer, or the ability to order groceries and find medications, etc. Those who are totally alone need to know that someone is going to check up on them, periodically. Some just want to talk, and need someone to listen. But I had to be completely positive and in control to do this.
My sweet son-in-law fixed my computer and retreived all my lost photos, and I made a nice slide show for my daughter's birthday. I haven't learned the fancier editing stuff yet, but it is interesting, fun, and it cheers me up!
I'm writing about fun things we did in the past, and antecdotes about the grandchildren, and who they are, etc, which might be fun to read, in the future. Only the good things.
I like to go out in the back yard, and watch my grandchildren dance and do gymnastics and "walk like a griffin" and do tricks on the swing set, and play ball with their parents.
I play with our pets, and teach my dog new tricks.
Every night the Metropolitain Opera airs a free opera! Operas are a bit over-the-top dramatic, and I watch in sections.
Exercise, walking, yoga. Getting in shape for summer.
Reading. But I read only vapid, non-emotional, undramatic stories. Self-help, such as "Full Catastrophe Living", "Lovingkindness", "Simple Abundance", The Bible, light poetry. I I have a shelf full of good books I've been wanting to read, when I'm calmer.
When I can't concentrate enough to read:
--Google maps, to visit favorite places
--Virtual tours of various museums, art galleries, aquariums, zoos, cities, etc.
--Live web-cams, such as the one on my favorite beach, which I can check to see what the weather and surf are doing in real time. I love the cameras at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, that show what the penguins and otters are doing, in real time.
Making plans for better times, such as planning (not actually doing it yet) the garden, putting up Easter decorations, getting some interesting games for the kids.
The kids do school work online, and the pre-schooler likes to join in on this, too. My daughter is enjoying being their teacher.
My family loves video games--wish I did
My grandchildren draw and paint and do crafts, sing, and play the piano.
I play the piano, when everyone is out for a walk.
I don't have Turner Classics, but, please, no disaster or horror movies! I will not watch medical shows, or crime, or war movies. Hallmark is all I can tolerate, right now, and they're pretty boring. During the worst of my fear and pain, I watched Hallmark's "We Need A Little Christmas" movie marathon. Commercials are upsetting, so I avoid those, and also the news. Frasier, Tool Time, Friends, Keeping Up Appearances, light comedies. Like Pollythinks, I don't watch much TV, and only at night.
It's fun to find humorous things to text to people. Every evening, my son texts me a photo or video of the crazy things his toddler boys do, and we all comment, and add our own photos, and laugh.
Keeping "up-beat" is a life's quest, right now! I don't want to spread negativity around. I don't want to be remembered as that turned-inward, near-suicidal mess that I was, right after my surgery and during the earthquakes. Older people must be very brave.
Can "being brave" be a hobby? Are there any instruction manuals for that?