Posted by:
Pooped
(
)
Date: April 13, 2020 02:53PM
My dear, dear friends. It has been a long haul dealing with Mom's end of life health issues while Coronavirus made everything more difficult.
I was one of the lucky ones. When they told Mom she was under quarantine and I was no longer allowed to visit her in the nursing home she freaked. She scared them so much with her reaction that they allowed me to visit. Hard part was once they allowed me in I could not leave and return so I had to stay basically 12 hours per day so Mom would stay calm. This meant that I've been eating nothing but nursing home food for three weeks. How those patients live on that horrible food is nothing short of miraculous.
Everything was going fine until the cartilage in Mom's spine proved to be deteriorating and the horrible pain began. Mom's doctor was out of town and I could not get anyone to prescribe a pain med that was strong enough to relieve her horrible pain. She could not sleep nights due to pain and then developed pneumonia. We got the pneumonia to clear up with antibiotics but the pain continued. Finally, when the doctor returned I got the pain meds Mom needed and she started sleeping nights. Had a problem with the part-time nurses staying on top of her pain by dosing at regular intervals. I would have to drag them to Mom's room to make them dose her on time. Finally, on Sunday night, April 5th, Mom was sleeping but I was afraid which nurse would come on duty next. I broke the rules and stayed past curfew so I could be sure Mom got dosed on time. The night nurse arrived and it was one of the good nurses. He promised to dose Mom appropriately but I was still nervous and decided to stay a few hours longer. I'm SOOOOO glad I stayed. I was sitting near Mom and feeling good about how well she was breathing, sleeping, and not moaning in pain. I was trying to talk myself into going home when she stopped breathing. She was on "Do Not Resuscitate" and we had talked often about what to do when this day came. So I waited for her next breath but it did not come. She was finally at peace and out of pain forever. She died Monday morning at 1AM April 6th.
I've been busy with burial planning, bill paying, etc. that all comes with executing an estate.
No big surprise when people started calling me to say that my sis has been telling anyone who would listen that I am stealing her inheritance. Of course, she has been saying this for about the last six or seven years but now she's ramped it up to a fever pitch. I always ask, "Do you believe her?" and they say "No, but we thought you should know."
This is all about the many years (22 to be exact)that my mother has been decorating and furnishing my sister's homes. When I came back home and Mom started downsizing to smaller and smaller residences my sis resented that Mom began letting me have pieces of her old furniture. My sister had been planning getting all of Mom's things as her "inheritance" and me getting nothing. Sis thinks that by accusing me of stealing Mom's things she can force me to give everything to her. She did not plan on Mom putting in her will that she wanted me to have everything. Now Sis is royally angry and cannot say enough rotten lies about me to get even.
Good thing is Mom was coherent, rational, and competent right to the very end. We had great times talking, laughing, and even planning the vacation I'd take when she no longer needed me. She did not have Corona Virus! And fortunately her nursing home is free of the virus so far. But I'm sure glad to get out of there.
Bad thing is this horrible virus continues. I so need a vacation from care taking and dealing with my sis.
Thanks for listening. I'm home alone and social distancing. Everyone, stay safe.