I have a daughter who has been TBM her entire life. She has four kids. From eldest to youngest:
an RM, (male) who looks to be in for life;
an Army guy who got out of Orem the easiest way possible after declaring a non-belief in the church;
a senior (male) in high school who looks totally Lamanite (the rest are 'blessed');
a sophomore (female) in high school who has, with her mother and friends, visited all the temples within 100 miles of Orem. Mormonism has been crammed down her throat; I hope she pukes it out.
I have no idea what the last two think about the gospel of Joseph Smith, Jr.
Now the Lamanite senior in high school has kidney failure. It's hereditary (not from my side) and has been coming on for some time now. Requests for prayer for him began over a year ago.
Around X-mas a go-fluff-me account was set up so that he could go get some experimental stem cell treatment in Mexico. You know, with money and faith, ANYTHING is possible!
Obviously the experimental stem-cell treatment didn't work (which Wikipedia and common sense predicted) because he will be starting dialysis next month. His kidneys are reaching the point of being useless.
Reports are that the kid is "taking this in stride". Which makes sense to me because what the hell else can you do? Of course, that's a rhetorical question because you can always do what my daughter is doing, run around whoring out the situation for attention. Or maybe it's just panic?
I don't do facebook. I got a text from my daughter today with this news and as I was thinking of how to respond, (it's tough for a fervent Atheist to speak kindly to Mormons) I decided to take a look at her FB page. Her text to me turned out to be a copy of what she'd written on FB. Except she left out of the text the plea for prayers...
So then FakeBook friends began to reply, and basically, it's the same reflexive action as saying 'bless you' when someone sneezes and it's as meaningless. (My opinion.) Imma try to paste this crap:
C---- E---- M---- Prayers!
H---- B---- Bless ---- and your family.
L---- J---- I’m so sorry! My heart breaks with yours as you embark on this journey. We love you and your family - He is one tough kid, he’s got this!
A while ago - shortly before Covid- I had a brief trip to Mormondom to farewell a dying sibling, the only TBM in the family apart from a senile narcissist here in Australia. My kids put me on the dreaded Facebook for ease of communication with family re travel arrangements and suchlike.
My glimpses into what those family members post and their respondents inane comments are a carbon copy of EOD's examples. They nauseate me and I can't attribute it all to naievete but see a lot of insincerity and the need to get on the "thoughts and prayers" bandwagon" to maintain the " good " Mormon image.
I'd written a bit more and have no idea what happened to it.
See, the boy's dad went down the same road his son is now following. It wasn't until after his mission, but the same scenario, decreasing kidney function, kidney failure, dialysis, donor kidney and by appearances, close to a normal life, except he looks a lot older than his calendar age. So my grandson has a role model in the very man who gifted him the disorder. His dad did everything he could to live a normal life and I foresee the boy doing the same.
EOD, my atheist son has hereditary kidney failure too (I'm the guilty carrier, but it doesn't affect females the same way) and it's not easy to deal with. Son has been on dialysis for almost a year and a half, and is working towards transplant. He has many friends who have offered to be donors, but so far, none of them have proven to be "compatible."
Keep your chin up. Your son will run into some remarkably resilient people at the dialysis center.
I hope that your grandson eventually finds a kidney.
I follow a local news page on Facebook that reports on things like traffic crashes. when people in the crash are reported as dead or injured, the reply posts often just say, "Prayers" with the praying hands emote attached. Post after post after post of "Prayers". A part of me tries to remember and relate to that way of thinking, but increasingly it's like reading a foreign language.
I am so sorry this is going on in your family, EOD. I have one grandson, and I would be shattered if I were in your shoes.
Do you live in proximity to your him?
I see a lot of the "prayers" comments on social media. It's a way to acknowledge someone who is grieving, when people have nothing they can add to really comfort someone. But still it seems vacuous.
Lot's Wife Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I agree with that. > > Love in the autumn, love by choice, is a wonderful > thing and a wonderful example.
We feel so lucky to have found each other. Thank you Lots.
Hi EOD. Sorry to hear of your nephew’s condition. The science of transplantation has advanced considerably. I had my transplant (lung) over four years ago and have a nearly normal life. Of course there’s no cure for old so Mother nature’s clock is still ticking away. When he gets his operation...tell him to follow instructions...especially the first year.
I always enjoy reading your posts...keep up the good attitude.
"a senior (male) in high school who looks totally Lamanite (the rest are 'blessed')"
That's a statement that should be studied, even in sarcasm, which may conceal some underlying negative feelings to being Hispanic. It's important that all types of people have pride in their heritage. If he's Mexican talk about the great Mexican heros of the past with your grandkids. Start with Benito Juarez, In his short life he fought and won 3 wars, one against the Spanish, then against the Catholic Church, and the last against the upper class.
It's great history! Mexico has the same history as England, The English had a landed gentry that came in 1066, it was a great tragedy, the Normans stole 90% of the land. The same as Cortez who stole everything in 1500. Then they had a break from the Catholic church by Henry VIII which coincides with Juarez 2nd war, and last there was the English civil war of 1688, Very similar to Mexico's war against the elites, except that the English had the advantage of being centuries ahead when these tragedies took place, They had more time to build wealth in a free society. Mexico is a new nation that only started about 1870 if I recall correctly.
The sad truth is that the public schools don't teach any of this, But all hispanic kids need to know this history, and be proud of this new democratic way in Hispanic America.
my theory is that prayers don't work, god gave us a superior brain so we can help ourselves. so I hope wish for the best for this Youngman. he will need a transplant, and there are great doctors able to do that.
Hi elderolddog, You supported me when I was worried about my daughter going to New York. Even if you hadn't made any comments, it wouldn't have made any difference, because I want to give you some emotional support as best as I can. I really like the things you post; whether serious or humorous. Glad that you and saucie have each other and can be there for each other. I'm glad that we live in an age of medical advancements; as frankie said, there are many wonderful doctors that will be able to help your grandson.
He had the Peritoneal Dialysis (PD) catheter placed in his abdomen on June 22nd. It will take 4-6 weeks to heal before he can start using it for dialysis. There is a chance that his kidneys won't last that long and he may need to get a central line in his neck and do hemodialysis at Primary Children's Hospital (PCH) until he can start PD. But in any event, he will be going up to PCH weekly for checks and to flush the catheter.
When he starts dialysis, we will be going up to PCH daily for 6 hours each day for 2 weeks to train on the dialysis machine and when he's just capable, he'll be taking a portable machine home with him. And that should stabilize his life. I sure hope that having to travel with a dialysis machine rules out a mission.
The mormons in his life just go on and on and on and on and on about the power of prayer. Everybody is praying for him...
No one has mentioned the state of medical science or the providers, all of which and who do NOT CARE about one's relationship with ghawd! Oodles of FB responses that "...he's in our prayers!" It's like a spectator sport, like tennis, where you politely clap after each point... It grosses me out.