When my sweetheart and I wanted to get married years ago, her bishop gave us some really bad advice.

He said, "Don't put off having children."

He also said, "Never turn down a calling."

Finally, "Always pay your tithing."

A little context might help-

Combined
- 19/18 years old, respectively
- No vocational training
- No trade
- No special skills
- No college degree
- No savings
- One old car
- Two really stupid people

Inevitably, we lived off of a combination of minimum wage jobs and eventually student loans for years. We started our family and have been catching up in one way or another ever since.

What a jerk.

That's exactly how people get trapped. By the time they realize it was bad advice, they are stuck. Most can never dig out.

The opportunity cost people pay because they put the church advice first is huge.

When I was a young adult just starting out, my bishop advised me that my chosen profession wouldn't be needed in the millennium and I should consider something that would be useful. Happily I ignored his advice. A few years later that bishop was convicted of 'affinity fraud'.
Will there be a place for fraud in the millennium?

That's how you know they don't care about you. If you follow that advice, and aren't connected (as they are), your life and the life of you children is going to be unnecessarily hard. What kind of elderly person with a lifetime of experience behind them would offer that as their best advice? It's a dick move.

They purposely want you poor and uneducated and stuck. In Mormon-time, having babies and skipping out on training or education, can get you stuck for life in a matter of a couple of years. That's all they need. Just follow them for five years and you likely won't get out or move up in the world.

Also, they don't want you to have time to reflect and learn about the world, that tends to be counterproductive for collecting adoring, unthinking disciples and tithers.

+1

PS: Congratulations on the new byu law school name. You are finally getting your just desserts.

William Law Wrote:
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> That's how you know they don't care about you. If
> you follow that advice, and aren't connected (as
> they are), your life and the life of you children
> is going to be unnecessarily hard. What kind of
> elderly person with a lifetime of experience
> behind them would offer that as their best advice?

Actually, they put out as a high virtue wives putting husband's through higher ed for higher earnings all the while still going to school, working, and raising a family. You know you've achieved Mormon success when you worship a family you never got to know while it would grow.

I hear ya, Lowpriest.

We received the exact same bad advice, but in a different order:

Pay your tithing

Have kids right away

Never turn down a calling (“an opportunity to do you part”)

Lowpriest Wrote:
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> What a jerk.

Had he followed his own advice? For him to give it if he lived it makes sense - just not good advice.

I was given the same advice along with achieve a "duty to god" award, get your eagle scout, serve a mission, and go to BYU. I did it all but the eagle scout.

From what I understand, the girls have a similar bucket list to follow where they marry the guy who has the duty to god, eagle scout, return mishie, holds callings, all the way to pays tithe.

It was good advice - in 1950.

Don’t wait to get married.

Don’t wait to have kids.

Get an education.

Avoid debt.

Accept all callings.

Have a good marriage.

In 1984, the year I married, they said that you should own your own house too.

Even as a TBM I knew these were impossible when put together.

The worst advice I received was a Sunday evening forum regarding budgeting. It was all about "free investment" advice from a CPA pushing saving 100,000 a year to put into investments. With that type of discretionary spending, I would have never needed a church to feel secure.

It was a two hour meeting (with two other newlyweds) that made me feel worthless.