"As Mormons, he and Amanda believe that the “celestial marriage” between a man and woman — and a man and woman only — is key to heavenly salvation. So, the couple sought to make their unusual union work, despite their mismatched desire."

So I guess Josh Weed's divorce story isn't touted all that much in mormon circles...

How long do you think this one will last?

https://nypost.com/2020/08/11/what-its-like-to-be-in-a-mixed-orientation-marriage/

"Determined to make the conventional marriage work, the Sorensens called on a trusted counselor, with both personal and professional experience in mixed-orientation relationships (MOR), to help them prepare for their unusual arrangement — which it turns out isn’t so uncommon, said Dr. Ty Mansfield, a private practice marriage and family therapist in Provo and adjunct professor at BYU.

Mansfield, who specializes in MORs, specifically among Mormons, said “anywhere from 40 to 60% [of my clients] are navigating sexual or gender-identity questions.”"

~Ty Mansfield~,... what can I say but yikes.

He may be married to a woman, but I can guarantee you that he is not "happily" married. He loves her, I am sure. But, he knows it is not the same as what his straight friends feel for their wives. That deep longing inside is not being met and someday it may come bursting out in ways that are very dramatic.

tick, tick, tick

" That deep longing . . ." that is never fulfilled.

Helluva price to pay. You get get as much fulfillment from joining a book club.


Here we go again . . . with the utter Mormon bullsh!#.

Last time a girl kissed me as a teen I burst out laughing.* Unless there is some heat or passion or craving of the flesh and a big crush behind it, a french kiss is pretty yucky. Imagine tonguing your best friend.



I tried to cover by saying she bit my lip cuz I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Avoided the Sadie Hawkins dances after that.

For anyone too tire to click on the link:

“That sexual attraction came from, I mean, trial-and-error and a lot of practice,” the 25-year-old told The Post, laughing with his wife, also 25."

LAUGHING is right. I am on the damn floor. That is the biggest joke ever. Except it is so stupid. Geez Mormons love to fool themselves.

Yes. I am going on about this too much---because my TBM parents pushed me so hard to do exactly this as my father compared being gay to taking up smoking. "I know it's hard son, but you can quit." Meanwhile my mother wanted me to stay with them, stay single, and take care of them in their old age.

Me! I already had a fabulous life planned. Forgeddaboutit.


And all these years later I had to watch Josh Weed pushing the same dangerous agenda as these two dupes, while Josh is doing anything and everything to have his camping trips with his boyfriends claiming it is all platonic.

The worst was watching his wife lie on camera about how happy she was and how well it was working. Tragic.

<<<"I know it's hard son, but you can quit.">>>

YOU know?? wanna tell me about it dad?

He doesn't even need to look at gay porn! He has the scriptures!

Mrs. S: "Sweetie, why are you always staring at that Book of Abraham facsimile? And why is it… upside down??"

Mr. S: "Oh, um, er, I was just looking at this representation of God sitting on his throne, …uh, imagining what it might be like to, um, rule my own planet… with an iron rod…"

When one or the other discovers the church is just rubbish, what will happen to this marriage ?

I don't know how you can both be in your mid 20s, and state that a MOR is working. It might be working well enough for right now, but get back to me in 10 years or 20 years with a follow-up report.

Just another kind of drama queen.

She was with her husband for years before he went on a mission and then married for 26 years and he was a professor at BYU and had been a bishop. Correct me if I've got it wrong, gemini.

We were 25 when we met. After the absolute hell and suicidal depression I lived with daily, we finally decided to get married to get those damn voyeurs out of our lives. I love him and always will. He NEEDS me and I know he loves me, but we get along great now that we are friends even if we live together. My boyfriend isn't even bothered by that. As my therapist said, when people see us together they are very aware that we are not a couple. Somehow we found a way to make our lives work. We did it for our children.

kathleen, There are many who still haven't decided the church isn't true and they are struggling.

This is what I realized JUST RECENTLY. He was never romantically interested in me EVER. It took me all this time to realize that. THEY JUST AREN'T INTO YOU. GET IT! They can try to suppress it, but it will come out in dramatic ways, ways you don't want to deal with.

And kids. Mine wanted kids badly. He used to cry to me. Now as we navigate our son's mental health issues, you think really? This is what you wanted? And our TBM daughter. We love them both to death, but having kids isn't the be all, end all they want to think it is. Take twins home from the hospital and live in shock for 5 years.

Again . . . tick, tick, tick

We all thought we could do it, too. We were closer than most couples we know, but that is not romantically. There is something you are missing out on and if you ever figure out you are, you're in trouble. And YOU KNOW IT. Deep down, you know it. Like I said recently and gemini said, "That's what it was." BEING DESIRED. I always knew my current boyfriend desired me back when I was 20 and he was 24. Then I had sex with him 27 years later. Do you think I knew the difference?

You basically have it correct. We dated for years in high school and college. we married weeks after his mission. we had 4 kids. He was a bishop. BYU professor. He really did love me--platonically. He knew it wasn't what he should be feeling towards me, and was always so puzzled by how other men talked about their wives and the desire they felt toward them. We were married 23 years..in a couple of weeks it will be 50 years since my wedding day, can you believe it. He's been dead for nearly 6 years. He told me once how grateful he was that I married him because he knows he would have died of AIDS in the 80's if he hadn't been with me. In 2014, that is what killed him. The devastation never goes away.

Oh, wow, Gemini. I never knew the particulars of your story. I'm so sorry.

Well, it helps that so much time has passed. We divorced in 1993.

Yours is still a brutal story. A history like that leaves permanent marks. . .

One of the reasons I married my husband is to keep him from AIDS. I married him in 1984 on September 1st, so my 36th year is coming up.

Only one or 2 people on the board know that my husband has HIV. I was living in Colorado when he got it. He was here alone with our kids gone somewhere else, too, and he got extremely depressed and he got lazy about being safe. He had taken a test for some insurance he wanted me to put my inheritance in and the registered letter came when he was out of state. I went and got the letter and opened it on our anniversary about 9 years ago. I called him and told him he needed to come home. It eventually came out over the phone. It was devastating. He is doing well. His numbers are good.

You can heal to a point, but the damage done to all of us including our husbands never ends, the deep down pain never goes away. We find a way to live our lives. The damage the church did to us as people is criminal.

As we can see, they are condoning them and we had a guy who used to post who was told my his MP, bishop, SP at least to get married.

These KIDS are young and stupid. Just like I was. The lds beliefs will conquer all. They aren't learning from our history and it is out there for everyone to see if they choose to. I haven't been silent and neither has my son or daughter. This is an issue to my TBM daughter and she struggles with it.

After all, it is all my fault my husband is gay. I wasn't righteous enough.

This is very sad. Gemini and Cl2 my heart goes out to you both.
What a terrible, haunting experience this must have been.

I can't even imagine the tortured existence it was for your husbands as well to have this burden of forced conformity on them as well with the church giving out meaningless platitudes of fake it till you make it. Yeah right!

Making the situation even more stinging is this was all done to try to make God happy and in some way to have his influence in your marriages. This is what angers me the most is how evil the church is with causing a lifetime worth of damage for a couple measily bucks which won't have any value after our currency fails. Is a lifetime of pain and regret worth what ever the could possibly extort from you? or really anyone?

I'd give this more attention if the LDS church were true.

But it's NOT. It's an abusive cult that f***s up people's lives in so many ways.

These folks and others would do well to answer the more basic question, "Can I make Mormonism work?"

Once they've honestly answered that, they and others will know what to do about their "marriage."

It's not something I approve of, because it will probably end in tears.

But that said, many people - millions probably - are in arranged marriages, and they aren't all failures. That's because marriage isn't just about love and sex, but more a business arrangement where the two parties can agree on some things.

You make a case for arranged marriages, but in this case the mormon religion is a third party, with very stringent demands it insists be met.

The mormon church creates rules that either one or both of the other parties will not be able to obey, without paying an awful penalty, if both are not asexual.

All the other kids are doing it?

Marriage may be about more than love and sex, but leaving them out of the deal all together is sort of like leaving the chocolate chips and walnuts out of the chocolate chip walnut cookies. Yes. You can still call it a cookie, but . . .

The planet is not in need of people producing children through a "business arrangement" even if they can "agree on some things."
We have enough children.

Arranged marriages. Sacrifice-yourself MOR marriages. Two wrongs still don't make a right.

In the case of arranged marriages, at least there is a glimmer of a better life had by the arrangement. In mormonism, it takes all your hope and causes both parties to toil and strain to earn money for the corporation forever.

One at least is a quasi bi-lateral agreement, the other is strictly uni-lateral with no benefit for any generation to come.

I THOUGHT she told me years ago when her grandson was in middle school that he is gay. I knew he was gay. Not suspected. It is obvious.

So we've made peace in the past few months. My son's mental health issues have brought us back together as she knows my son really well. Our kids grew up like siblings and so she has been very supportive of what is going on with us.

So I was talking to her one day when I went up to visit and I said something about her grandson being gay. She about came out of her seat if the roof in the car hadn't stopped her. She said he doesn't want to be gay as his uncle is gay and he is a mess. He wants to get married. Now, I don't believe that for a minute. I think he needs to know that he is accepted the way he is. I purposely went to his graduation party a year ago even if the family doesn't talk to me, though his father and I are not arguing. He was so thrilled that I came to his graduation party. I don't know him that well, but I went for his sake. He sent me several notes thanking me, but not telling me he is gay and, like I told my sister, I would never say anything to him unless he came out to me. But he did tell me to ignore his grandmother as she is nuts.

This just blows my mind. After everything my kids and I have been through and she is thinking like this? She also is still angry at my husband (the 2 never got along) and wants me to divorce him and go after the money I could get.

But the thing that really bothers me is what she has said about her grandson, who is now in college. I know by how he looks at me that he knows that I know, and that he wants someone who supports him being gay. I hope the other side of his family supports him as they are never mormons. I've been pretty sick about it for a while. I can't read his mind by any means, but it all makes me sick.

If “demisexual” is an indication of a natural asexuality, then these kinds of marriages can work.

Is she happy?

I could have lived that way the rest of my life. I had told him he could cheat all he wanted, just don't fall in love. He fell in love. I still hung around. I just wanted him to help raise the kids and pay the bills. I could have dealt with it all THAT WAY and him live downstairs in an apartment we built down there.

That wasn't enough. My husband still wasn't happy. Still isn't. But he is more at peace with himself and life as he doesn't have to feel bad that he is cheating on me. That bothered him a lot. At the very least until the kids were raised.

BUT if a woman is with a gay man, she is also with the WRONG GENDER. He doesn't want her and SHE KNOWS IT. He may "love" her in the sense of non-romantic love. I know my husband loves me, can't live without me, BUT NOT AS A WIFE. You become an it if you stay in these relationships and try to pretend they are a 'couple." I was a hot chick when he married me. Once I knew he was cheating, you can see in the pictures the pain in my eyes and how we act when we are standing next to each other even at our daughter's wedding 18 months ago, there is an OBVIOUS distance.

So, is she happy? No. Right now it may all seem exciting and wonderful, but they are BOTH tormented.

I had a bag of mixed orientation snacks - half the bag was nails and the other half bits of chocolate - it was delicious!

Now I understand how this could work in mormonism. It's all good!

Ka-Ching!!!

Something about their smiles troubles me —especially his. And then, there they are with those same grins at their little son’s grave.

You noticed that too? I thought I was the only one.

Maybe it comes from seeing too many fake mormon smiles to know. Looks like they have their conference game face on.

If in fact he is married to and having sex with his wife and his boyfriend then gay is the wrong label. He would then be bi-sexual.

I believe the term is mo-sexual.

MormonMartinLuther Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I believe the term is mo-sexual.
I disagree with you

thedesertrat1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If in fact he is married to and having sex with
> his wife and his boyfriend then gay is the wrong
> label. He would then be bi-sexual.

I really don't know what your experience has been on the hide the canole front but

Much of the effort of the past 40+ years of many on the sexuality front has been that people are entitled to define and label themselves.

You may think yourself very knowledgeable but your comment shows quite the opposite.

Take me for example. I'm cis male. Over the years I've had sex with a fair number of women to the great delight of both.

However my primary orientation is and always has been towards men. I would say I'm about a 6 on the Kinsey scale. I do not consider myself Bi I consider myself a Gay man.

Sexual minorities have been through enough grief from others who thought they knew us better than we know ourselves. We don't need others telling us if we are straight (the SCC assured me that I was), Bi, Gay or a man who has sex with men. I'm Gay because I have fought some hard fought battles to come to this understanding and self-labeling.

I don't need someone who read a paragraph in an outdated college text 20 years ago to tell me what I am.

The only way to tell if some one is Bi is to ask them.

I wouldn't consider my "husband" bisexual and he says he isn't and he said he liked having sex with me, BUT, BUT, BUT he still considers himself a 6 on the Kinsey scale. Basically, it was our little secret as we never talked about sex life. I had people say, "Well, at least he was able to have sex with you once," as we have a set of twins. We'd always just smile.

BUT if it were that SIMPLE, then we could be together as a couple forever (ha ha ha), but it isn't simple.

You are saying mo-sexual is actually no-sexual?

Okay I can agree with that. The church has tried to kill it off anyways unless it helps their bottom line.

Dealing with the leaders before we got married was "interesting." I couldn't explain it all if I tried. One thing I did take note of was that they couldn't understand why a man wouldn't want to have sex with a nice looking woman like me. The bishop had told me before this all transpired that I was the nicest looking girl in the ward and he couldn't figure out why I wasn't married.

He made many comments like that over the years like when I agreed to go with a guy who nobody would go with to a ward dance. When we walked by the bishop, he told the guy that "the stars had shone on him tonight."

And they think women don't like sex and that we were just supposed to perform to make our husbands happy. I was taught that. My husband doesn't believe me, but we were taught that in the 1970s in mutual classes. So they told me the same thing. It was up to me to make my husband happy and, when he cheated, I was told it was my fault as I hadn't given him enough sex. They didn't ask how much sex I had given him, just that it obviously wasn't enough. I can never be enough and that was hard to take for a while until I realized It wasn't about me.

He and I have a good relationship now as friends and parents. I have a long-time boyfriend who I wanted to marry at age 20, but he wasn't mormon. He came back into my life when I was 47. I'm 63. I hadn't had sex with someone straight until he came back and then I KNEW the difference and why my husband NEEDS a man. I wish he could find a good one.