It's hard to imagine.

I can't see anyone 'raised' in the church doing that. We were so trained to follow! And not blindly; it was all explainable and explained, in terms of doing what's right, let the consequence follow.

June 22, 1965... I was given the secret sauce name, Moroni. I literally thought, "Am I the only one to share that name with the guy on the Salt Lake Temple!?" (The St. George temple doesn't have that weather vane.) It never crossed my mind that they would do the büllshit same 31 names month after month! Can you say Sigmund Fraud?

I was not too pleased with what had transpired; it was so childish! And to top it off, I'm standing in the Celestial Room, looking at myself in the mirror: a skinny Mexican with a very dark tan, wearing thick, black-framed glasses, a stupid, fücking 'baker's hat' and a white dress. Not a good look for Latinos.

I went back two more times, but not willingly.

Moroni? Was the "i" a typo?

Haha, it is to laugh ... with the ghawds.

Correction Old Dog. All the men look dorky in the bakers hats not just latinos. That was my first impression when I saw them. One of the guys from my ward was there to give moral support. I remember thinking, "If this guy has a Harvard MBA and can stand there wearing that ridiculous getup, maybe I ought to give it a chance". It's the only thing that kept me from tossing my cookies from fright.

I had been told in preparation for the event to pay close attention to everything being said because it is very important. I was sort of trying to memorize everything being said and got confused and frightened thinking there was a test at the end. Once I got to the other side of the veil it was a huge relief. I kept going back thinking I'd get it the next time. I did finally get it. It's gibberish.

When my future wife did her initial endowment session; another future bride had some kind of panic attack, and when they told people who did not want to make the blood covenants, she got up and left, sobbing. She was there with friends and family and it caused quite a commotion.

My grandfather walked out on his second trip. It was my father's first.

I wanted to my first (and only) time. And it was during the time before you even do anything where they ask if anyone [wants to leave], I can't remember the wording.

But I stayed cuz I was getting married and my family was there. After it was all over, both me and my now ex-husband said we'd never go back. Oddly enough, after our marriage he went back with his new wife and is supposedly a regular attendee.

The day I got married in 1970 (50 years ago next month!) it was also my first time through the temple. There were 13 wedding parties there that day!!

We're all sitting in the chapel waiting for the endowment session to start. I'm as nervous as can be. Suddenly, some guy comes in and asks that all the _________party should exit the chapel. WTF is going on? At some point I found out that a bride had chickened out of going through with it all and the whole wedding party left. Wow. That did NOT instill any confidence in me.

The other thing that really got to me was the live session. There were these 70 or 80 something age people playing Adam and Eve and it just did not seem normal.

Yes.

Two men walked out after we were locked in but before it started. It took several minutes for someone to unlock the door.

Then I began to wonder if I should have left.

That's certainly comforting in the event of a fire.

wondering Wrote:
------------------------------------------
> It took several minutes for
> someone to unlock the door.

I thought about it, seriously, but I was there for my wedding. Afterwards, I was fuming because I felt like they withheld critical information about what I was agreeing too until it was too late. I think I only went back one time. I thought the whole thing was satanic.

That's exactly the problem. When they asked if anyone wanted to leave, it didn't occur to me to want to leave at that time.

But once they got started and got to those frightening penalties, I began to panic and I wanted to leave. I looked back at the doors and saw that they were blocked, so I felt trapped.

But man, I sure wanted to leave. Now I wish I had.

I should have followed my first instincts about what I was being taught and I never should have been baptized in the first place. And I should have followed my first instincts about leaving during my first temple session.

Always go with your gut instincts and your first impressions.

That is how they trap you. It's sort of like saying, "Please sign this blank contract and we will fill in the agreement after you have made the commitment not to back out". It's a win-lose every time. They win. You lose.

I'd like to see someone go through it all and then when the part comes where you promise your life, your time, your talents, everything you have now, everything you will ever have in the future they shout out, "H*LL NO! Are you kidding me?!!!!"

of marrying my gay husband, I was certainly not going to leave, but I almost burst out laughing when I saw him in that hat. I'd rather veil my face. I was just relieved to get it over and that there hadn't been any sex on the alter. I went back 3 times under force. After that, nothing could get me back there.

Moroni??? Mine was Lucy. That was A CLUE right there. When we did the veil thing just before we married, my husband said, "WHAT?" when I said Lucy.

My sister looked like she had seen a ghost the day she got married, so I went 8 days before the wedding so I wouldn't be in shock on the day I got married. Thank god I did that.

No.

But after the last time I attended the temple, I never went back!

When they said something like “if anyone does not want to live by the commitments they will make today, you may leave now.”
I thought “well that’s odd, how am I supposed to make an informed decision?” But at the same time I thought “well now I REALLY have to see this!”

When my husband and I went through with our daughter and son-in-law, before their wedding, she was so shocked that afterwards in the Celestial Room, she said “ Mom! This is a f******cult!!” She and our son in law never returned and resigned with us when we did.

that's the coolest thing i heard !!!!!

I would have loved to have seen this!!

Valkyriequeen!!

A young coworker of mine, oh, 8? years ago, reported a temple event at his endowment with his fiancee exactly like that. As I remember his report, his bride-to-be said in the celestial room: "We're in a cult, aren't we?"

Is your son-in-law a mechanical engineer with the initials JF? I would like to think we have a connection in this story.

Best,
VKP

I didn't want to leave until I'd seen what the fuss was all about. I'd heard how sacred and special it was and was waiting for something amazing and wonderful that never happened. Maybe it would happen at the very end? Instead it was just one WTF moment after another. At the end I was groped at the veil while learning the secret password and handshake, followed by a quick sit down in the gilded and glitzy celestial room. What a let down.

I went through about 6 more times and each session was as weird and un-sacred than the last. What a joke.

If I could relive my first temple experience I would have grabbed my mom's hand and said, "let's get the hell out of here!"

that they don't have something super special that I missed out on. I always overthink things and I would have thought that about the temple as it was my dream to get married in the temple. Now I know the truth.

I never did get to sit down in the CR.

I love valkyrie's story, too!

Heartbroken, I felt the same way. A letdown and frightening at the same time. Blase horror.

I kept thinking to myself, "I'm in a cult! I'm in a cult!" for the full two hours. Since it was a life endangering effort to travel to the temple, literally, I lied when my dad asked what I thought. I said, "Yeah, it was great." He said, "I'm glad to hear that, I thought of all my kids, you would have hated it." I guess he knew me.

I went through a year long temple prep class that did nothing to answer the most basic questions about what is truly required of a person going through (the only time) for one's endowment. I would never agree to sacrifice my sense of humor and avoid loud laughter. Neither would I ever agree to sacrifice everything to THE CHURCH; maybe a god (if he/she personally visited me). I felt betrayed and I haven't mentioned having my private parts being touched while standing naked in front of strangers. For an organization hell-bent on modesty and controlling sex, the temple was one hell of a shock.

I got lucky. When I was a teenager my family adopted my younger sibling and were planning to be sealed to them. In that situation, all "worthy" members of the family--even underage teens--get a special recommend allowing them to attend the sealing ceremony. By that age I already knew in my gut that the whole thing was a cult, but for this special occasion I really tried to feel the spirit and give it my all for my family.

Whelp, the whole thing was super creepy and it took every ounce of my self control to not burst out laughing when I saw my dad in that hat and apron. I was very uncomfortable through the whole thing. The courtroom adoption ceremony had felt WAY more special and emotional than that awful temple ceremony. So in a way I got a sneak preview of the crazy without having to buy the farm. Never went back again.

The temple is worth going through just to see Michael Ballam hilarious and OTT performance of Satan!

He lied big time to get his recommend so he could be there for granddaughter's sealing.

Partway through the ceremony, there was a loud crash and the chandelier started shaking. He was sure gawd was coming after him.

Telling the story he said, "I was halfway to Mesquite before they calmed me down."

It was a door upstairs that slammed with gusto, making the whole ceiling shake.

I can't imagine doing all the work to get to that point and then bailing. Maybe never coming back after you go home, but in front of family/friends? Unlikely. It was a mindfuck for me, but my mind was good at rationalizing away all the weight on my shelf.

Don't we feel stupid now, knowing that there was a way out, but not taking it while we could?

My wife and I used to team-teach the temple preparation class. I was astounded that the class didn't teach anything about the temple. I supplemented it a bit with material that my wife had when she took an actual BYU class on temple preparation, where they actually talked about taking covenants upon yourself, and explaining what those covenants were. That was the least I could do.

On my mission, my comp and I were tasked to take the train to Zollikofen and help a couple through the temple. (It was pretty unprecedented to allow a couple of missionaries to leave the mission, go stay somewhere overnight, and come back the next night.) The couple was an American woman marrying an Italian guy. She was a piece of work with a nasty disposition, and we immediately did not like her and felt sorry for the Italian guy. She got her endowment in the evening, preparing for the temple marriage the next day. After the endowment, she announced, "It's no wonder that my mother said, 'Don't lose your testimony when you go through the temple.'" At the actual temple wedding, she refused to kiss her husband across the alter. We all sort of stared at each other, questioning if the marriage was still good if she didn't do what the officiator said.

I got a really bad depression after my endownment for some days and it got even worse later, cause I couldn´t talk with someone about it outside it. Some members said that It was my own fault, that I wasn´t ready to be there and so on. But I just knew in my heart after a short while during the session that the temple was not a place of God. And I just wanted to run out from there, but was paralyzed of fear of doing wrong and be judged of God because of it. I will never go to that oldtestament-doomy place again.

It didn't help matters with me that the stake I was in called for a 4am mens session on a work day. As I was in a bishopric I felt compelled to go but never again, 4 am or any other time

I've always wondered about mom..a convert from Scottish Presbyterian. Her first time through the temple musta been some fucking weird shit to her.

Lethbridge Reprobate Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've always wondered about mom..a convert from
> Scottish Presbyterian. Her first time through the
> temple musta been some fucking weird shit to her.

Scotland is/was riddled with Freemasonry, it may not have been as weird to her as you might think. I mean Masonry is really common there, even small dirty mining towns have lodges. So most Scots know or encounter Masons.

All I could think of was that I mustn't have been worthy enough, because I did not find the holy truths I was supposed to get. I had read the PoGP, and new all of the things in the movie. So, what did I miss? I must not have been worthy enough to understand those things.

It sucks that the programming of the church works like that. If anything feels weird or out of place, it was our mode as members to doubt our own worthiness. Looking back now, I realize that a lot of my spiritual experiences were a result of shame and guilt pushing me to try my hardest to belong.

I wish I just would had walked out when I felt "I´m in a cult - go out now!" in my head. But I was to scared for that. Fear is a bad devil.

I think this is why someone always escorts you through on your first time through. It's pretty hard to walk out if your father and mother are right there with you.

I went through the temple with the Bishop and his 'oldest' son which I knew quite well as he had been called to go to France on his mission.

He didn't walk out the first time, but very close. It literally scared him --- he did have a pretty high IQ. After the temple experience he refused to go on a mission and dropped out of the church.

I met him years later and congratulated him on his decision but not sure he really knew why the church was not true. Since he worked for 'friends' which were high in the church, I didn't try to educate him at that time.

I played a bit of tennis with him and friends but never was in the locker room together to discuss much.

Hi VKB!
No, this was 10 years ago, but I sure will never forget it!
It’s good to hear others realize what’s going on with their first time going through.
I’ll never forget the looks on everyone’s faces that were in the Celestial Room :D. At the time, though, I wanted to hide under a chair!

(swear for all you squares)

I am ashamed to admit that I probably attended more than 20 times despite all of my misgivings, doubts and crappy temple experiences. So here is my observation, I only saw two people going through for their own endowments. One would expect to see more people, right?

One time was for my bride to be and she was likely scared shitless. However, the session did NOT slow down as she had good help following the ritual.

The other time, a young man (probably getting ready to serve his mission) was having a hard time. He looked ill as he was being ambushed with all the WTF crap going on around him. If he could have bolted, I am sure he would have.

And the worst thing? A group of men who wanted the damn session to be over (about 2.5 hours in the 1990s) so they could enjoy the remainder of their Saturday kept moaning every time temple workers went over to help him with his robes/sashes and baker's hat. I thought that was so RUDE, but again this type of behavior is normal.

I was just thinking back and I don't remember a lot of people receiving their endowments for the first time and I attended many Saturday morning sessions.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 08/31/2020 06:16AM by messygoop.

I left the first time with the boxers I came in with. There was no way I was going to wear that ridiculous shit. My wife was livid and I thought she was going to lose her mind. She couldn't believe I would do that after the whole temple thing we just went through.